Think too much Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 I have severe trust issues. I don't know how to overcome them. I don't let people get very close to me. In fact I have been very selective of the people I have let into my life especially men because I dated a guy once that raped me and beat me. I overcame that.. It was several years ago but now I seem to have a hard time dealing with loosing a bf or when someone takes advantage of the trust I had in them. I have pushed a lot of my friends away in fear of being hurt by them. I was engaged once and the man cheated on me and then never spoke to me again. Then my last relationship was pretty serious. We dated for over a hear. Then it ended very bad. Well actually it was pretty similar to the guy I was engaged with. I always had a fear that he would leave me. I never told him about my fear but he always told me how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me... then that changed when he started to gain interest in another girl. It's a never ending cycle. anyway... I just want a decent man that I can trust. I don't want to be in fear of being hurt again and again. I am a smart good looking girl. I get asked out a lot but I don't dare to even date anymore. I am tired of games. I want a mature trustworthy man. Do they even exist? Link to post Share on other sites
citygrrl Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 I am in your shoes, I think. I am not ready by any means to date again. And I am the one that dumped him- -go figure! I am heartbroken that it couldn't work, and there was a lot of abuse from him. But the worst thing you can do is to lose faith in people...For every rotten person out there , there is a kind person somewhere, too. The next time you meet someone, try being friends first, and don't let your heart get too attached until you know the person better. That way if it doesn't look like it's going to work, you haven't put your heart and soul into it. Get out, meet people, and look at the non verbal as well as the verbal signals you get from people. And don't actively LOOK for Mr. Right- when the timing is right and it's the right person, I believe it will happen on its own. Corny, I know, but I have to really believe that myself to stay positive! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Think too much Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Thanks for the advice and encouragement. I know there are good men out there. I just seem to have a poor judgment of character and I must be pretty naive. I will find Mr. right. I hope. Link to post Share on other sites
bing bing Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 I am with a woman that has trust issues now. I love her so much but the more serious we get the more she tries to push me away. I know it's a defense mechanism. She is trying to replace a potential unknown hurt with a hurt she has some ownership of. To answer your question: Yes, good trustworthy men do exist. I have never cheeted on a girlfriend in my 32 years. It sounds like there is a pattern for you. Have you considered that maybe you have an issue where you tend to get involved with the wrong guys? I am not blaming you for what has happened to you but whenever there is a behavior pattern with your partners you are always a part of it by choosing to be with them. Have you spoken to a professional? Do you have abandonment issues from your childhood? I'm sorry I don't have any better advice. Good honest men do exist. Try to find men that are good friends and good sons. Good friends and sons are loyal and tend to live by a moral code. BTW if you could give me some advice please see my thread " Her abandonment issues ". Thanks and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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