What is my girlfriend thinking? Does she want to break up and is too scared to say?

[chenko570]

I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to 6 years now. I have lived with her for almost the same amount of time and when we first started seeing each other she had 2 daughters from a previous relationship who are now 6 and 7. Now we have a daughter of our own who is 19 months old. In the summer i found out that she was "sexting" another man, this involved sending naughty pics and speaking naughty. I confronted her about it and she apologised and said she didn't know what she was thinking and that it was all a big mistake. I then found out she was texting the same man again a month later but without any intimate conversations. I again pulled her up about it and we agreed that talking to him at all after what had previously happened wasn't an option. I occasionally find her googling his name and looking at his facebook page but they haven't spoken for a while now. Last week my girlfriend signed up at Plenty of Fish.com which is an online dating site. On her profile it says shes looking for friends and that shes Not single/ Not looking. Now i know i shouldn't be looking but i have had my suspicions ever since i found out she was sexting. A couple guys have asked her to meet and shes kinda stopped talking to them as she says they are a bit too full on but she also flirts with guys on it. One guy today asked her to meet and she replied with....

 

"Hmm I dunno. Suddenly feeling shy haha

 

What and when were you thinking?"

 

What i'm wondering is why is my girlfriend on an online dating site if shes happy with me? We have had our problems in the past but have managed to work them out. Most recently after the sexting i was going to leave but she made it clear to me that she wanted me to stay. I'm feeling a little confused and don't know whether i should confront her about knowing about her on a dating site or just wait and see if anything bad happens first.

[ExpatInItaly]

Your girlfriend is on a dating site because, for some reason or another, she ISN'T happy with you. That's not to say it's your fault, but happy campers do not seek out "friends" on dating websites. Given her history, do you really believe that? I hope not.

 

I would imagine she's scared to be without you but isn't in love any more. She's obviously checked out of the relationship and doesn't seem to have the courage to end it. How did you find out about her profile? Does she know that you have discovered it? If so, how does she explain that? (These are the types of questions you shouldn't even need to ask a girlfriend..)

[Darren Steez]

I've been with my girlfriend for coming up to 6 years now. I have lived with her for almost the same amount of time and when we first started seeing each other she had 2 daughters from a previous relationship who are now 6 and 7. Now we have a daughter of our own who is 19 months old. In the summer i found out that she was "sexting" another man, this involved sending naughty pics and speaking naughty. I confronted her about it and she apologised and said she didn't know what she was thinking and that it was all a big mistake. I then found out she was texting the same man again a month later but without any intimate conversations. I again pulled her up about it and we agreed that talking to him at all after what had previously happened wasn't an option. I occasionally find her googling his name and looking at his facebook page but they haven't spoken for a while now. Last week my girlfriend signed up at Plenty of Fish.com which is an online dating site. On her profile it says shes looking for friends and that shes Not single/ Not looking. Now i know i shouldn't be looking but i have had my suspicions ever since i found out she was sexting. A couple guys have asked her to meet and shes kinda stopped talking to them as she says they are a bit too full on but she also flirts with guys on it. One guy today asked her to meet and she replied with....

 

"Hmm I dunno. Suddenly feeling shy haha

 

What and when were you thinking?"

 

What i'm wondering is why is my girlfriend on an online dating site if shes happy with me? We have had our problems in the past but have managed to work them out. Most recently after the sexting i was going to leave but she made it clear to me that she wanted me to stay. I'm feeling a little confused and don't know whether i should confront her about knowing about her on a dating site or just wait and see if anything bad happens first.

 

Honestly guy, just re-read the bolded parts. You're not confused. You just don't have the balls to leave.

[DivorcedSingles]

There is something she is missing in her life with you, and if you want to save your relationship don't spy her activities but try to find out what you can do to make her happy. Her staying with you in relation clearly indicates your importance in her life.

[crederer]

She's looking for other options. She may or may not take the opportunities presented but what I can tell you for certainty is there is a psychological advantage for you to end it rather than have her leave you for another man (which seems pretty likely at this point).

 

Sorry dude....I've been there. It sucks.