Bootsky Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 -Im 25 shes 21....So I met this girl a little over a year ago in Sept 2012, through mutual friends at a small party. After we met I got her number and we began talking regularly for a few months. The next time I spent time with her I ended up going to her apt and staying the night with her. After I stayed the night we didn't hang out again until this July. We didn't talk much between Oct and this July, as she lives about 30 mins away in a different city and she was in a short relationship over that time. I initiated contact with her again asking if she would want to get together some night, and she instantly was all about hanging out with me. We went out the weekend of me asking her and everything went well, ending with her saying we need to stop being strangers (that was in July). After that night I have been to her apt a few times and spent time with her, every time I have seen her we have at least kissed or made out. She seems to always put the breaks on any attempt of me trying to take things further.......So, I didn't talk to her after the second night of me going to her place because we both started classes, and she went a bit cold after that....I understood this and after two weeks of no talking I asked her out on an official date (last weekend), and again instantly she was all about it, I ended up staying at her place all weekend and things went good (still no sex)....So after that night she text me non stop all last week, and into this weekend, I asked her to hang out this weekend but she was busy at her parents house for the weekend. She said maybe we can do something next weekend. I said that would be good. She said perfect. So that brings me here, I am slowly falling for this girl Im sure of it...I get the feeling however that she is slowly going cold on me again and not talking much this weekend....I realize she has been busy but I also noticed that last week sometime she tweeted about me but shortly after that deleted it.....So I am wondering if she is waiting for me to make a commitment 100%, or if she has realized that she doesn't see things going any further than where we are. Im not sure if I should give her a call and make plans for next weekend now, or wait for her to initiate contact again before I do? (its unusual for her to not text me for this long) and I am not the clingy type who constantly texts or calls a girl....but I am wondering if by not contacting her she is getting the wrong vibe from me. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
StrongLass Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Call her and ask her what you're asking us. I know, I'm a f*cking revolutionary <end/sarcasm> Seriously though, asking her is the only way you're going to get anywhere with these questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Right on. Talk to her about it. Ask her everything you're concerned about. Communication is very important after all. It could be that she herself is not too sure about a full commitment, but you'll need to find out from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bootsky Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 So, we ended up going out again last night. I stayed at her place and we spent the entire day today together. We ended up having sex last night. So we took a step toward a more intimacy relationship, however still have not had the "exclusive talk" with her at this point...she introduced me to one of her best friends today and things seem to be progressing...do you think I should continue to just let things progress naturally or is it necessary to talk to her about being exclusive? How do I go about starting that conversation if I won't be seeing her again until maybe next weekend? (I would think it would be a face to face convo) Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 You more ready than she is for what your intent is to be with her more. Remember when they turn 20 then get to 21 these two age ranges, they're more unsure of life, relationships an etc. Just have to give a bit more room and don't crowd her living style. Your in your mid 20s so you a ready for more norm relationship. Like I said she's not where you at yet. But again you making some headway with here not sooner or later in the middle of the scale. To answer you question just let things work out, no rush. Remember by the time she reaches your age you should see her be more mature in this relationship and of course you'll be pushing almost 30 something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bootsky Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 So last night she basically confessed her feelings for me, I told her that Ilike her and that I really enjoy spending time with her. After we got off the phone she sent me a text saying she really wanted to tell me these things over the weekend but she is bad with talking about things if or the first time n person...I was asleep when she sent this and today I replied. But she is not responding, and a mutual friend today asked me if her and I quit seeing each other because she is not acting very happy today....so anyway, why would she basically confess her love for me only to not talk to me today, or respond to my messages? I am not good with telling a girl how I feel...and I don't want to keep bombarding her with messages all day.... Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 DO NOT. bambard her with messages, just play along and make it naturally progress. I would not have any conversations about exclusivity. The ball is in her court, just keep having fun with her. Let her open up to you, just be like a rock that she can lean on, dont put too much pressure on her to make any decisions. Keep it lighthearted Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bootsky Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 DO NOT. bambard her with messages, just play along and make it naturally progress. I would not have any conversations about exclusivity. The ball is in her court, just keep having fun with her. Let her open up to you, just be like a rock that she can lean on, dont put too much pressure on her to make any decisions. Keep it lighthearted Well, if you are right...I might have made the mistake of mentioning exclusivity.....I sent her a message and that basically said "I'm just going to throw it out there, but lately I can't see myself being with anyone but you, and especially after the passed few months. I'm not sure what your thoughts are, but I just needed to get these things off my chest"....maybe I just ruined this thing? I would hope that if anything she will appreciate my openness, and maybe respond...for now I guess the ball is absolutely in her court...I'm not sure if I want to see what her response is. I almost forgot how nerve racking it can be in this stage of a relationship.... Link to post Share on other sites
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