fear of work

[Patty]

I don't know what is wrong with me.But I think I need counseling.Sometimes when ever I'm at work I start getting nervous.Theres one person that has always made me feel uncomfortable.Sometimes I dont even want to go to work cause of this fear I have around her.She gives me dirty looks sometimes.She gets near me sometimes and makes me uncomfortable.She used to get near me and blame me for things I didnt do.Every time she gets near me my teeth start grinding. She always seems to put me to work and sometimes makes me work harder then the others.One time she had me do someone else's job that I really believe I shouldnt of had to do.Heres the most ridicoulas thing that has happened to me.One time a customer had ordered a salad at 7 something in the morning.So she came over to me when none of them are made that early ,instead of telling the customer we dont serve lunch until 10:30 ,she had me rush around to make that salad.That really pissed me off.I think it was the most ridicoulas thing.Now I try to sleep at night and have trouble sleeping.I get restless thinking about what will happen the next day at work.I told my mother I need another job.She told me it wouldnt solve the problem. I just wish this person wouldnt stare at me so much.I cant help the way I am.I get scared when ever she walks by me that she will start on me.I just dont feel relaxed.Where ever I work,always seem to run in to this problem,I dont know if its cause of my disability or not.Ever since my last job I had I had a similiar situation and ever since then have devoloped fears of being out working.I hope that someday I'll find something out there that I can do.And I hope I can over come the fears I have.

[Tony T]

Your problem has nothing to do with fear of work. It has to do with a personality conflict with your boss. I get the idea you don't like her.

 

Your mother is right in a way. You need to get used to dealing with all kinds of people. You are young and you're going to learn quickly that there are all kinds of jerks and jerkettes in the world and they often find a way of working themselves into positions of authority. Acquire skills that can win them over, getting them to like you and ease off on you.

 

If you had similar conflicts at your last job, it may just be a coincidence...or it could be some issues with your attitude. For instance, if you are asked to make a salad at 7 a.m., rather than go bananas...just calmly make a salad. How much anguish can it cause to find some lettuce, tomatoes and dressing. You may just need to look at things more positive and cool your jets.

 

You may also have an anti-authoritarian personality. You don't seem to like supervisors and you don't go along with your mother's advice. Some people just have issues with anyone telling them what to do. You may be one of them. If so, get some counselling for that...or go into business for yourself, consulting or selling Avon or something like that. As long as you are in the workplace, there will be people over you and rightly so. Even the President has to put up with the press, the Congress, the special prosecutor, etc. He even has to take orders from the Secret Service in many cases. There's just no way any human can get away from authority unless you become a castaway on Gilligan's Island.

 

But I think in this case your mother does not realize the impact this is having on your life. I would definitely find another job ASAP. While you may find some other types of conflicts at another job, they probably will be different. There are certainly many more pleasant work environments than where you are now. Learn to change your attitude about things you disagree with. Accept the direction and procedure of your workplace as long as it is not physically grueling. You control how you think about things. Just know that you are getting paid to do a job the way you are told. Do it with a smile. Paychecks are nice to get...and that's how you get them.

 

When a job begins to affect your outlook on life and your ability to sleep at night, it's definitely time to move on. However, take some responsibility in those instances. Part of the problem is always how YOU handle the interactions with co-workers and superiors. Instead of being combative, be kind and receptive. They won't mess with you if you become that way...and you'll get lots of promotions as well.

 

But let your mother know you respect her opinion. Tell her it's because she did such a great job of raising you that you are now able to make great decisions for yourself (with the help of the gang at the LoveShack)!!!

 

P.S. I personally think it's nuts having salads for breakfast...but they have lots less cholesteral than eggs. I would be happy to make someone a salad for breakfast if I were asked.

 

It really gets me when people put Ketchup on their eggs. But talking about salads for breakfast, I really enjoy having bacon and eggs sometimes for dinner. My stomach gets really fooled but seems to enjoy the change once in a while.