Her female friend suggest I be "gentle and patient"

[irc333]

I get a kick out of the advice women give.

 

This female friend is good friends with the woman I Met through her. Well, I was talking to her about my situation with her friend and said, "Well, seems your friend hardly has the time to make to get together withme.

 

Well, apparently she thinks I should be "patient and gentle and not be so pushy with a girl like her" with he considering the amount of times she's blown me off already you'd think she'd see the light and figure her OWN friend isn't "that into me".

 

But apparently me being patient and gentle and understanding is the way to go with women that blow me off every time I ask them out.

[Shepp]

Id take a punt at that translating to....You came on too strong and she thinks you'd be clingy.

 

I dunno, I dunno you and I dunno the gal but that's my take

[irc333]

Id take a punt at that translating to....You came on too strong and she thinks you'd be clingy.

 

I dunno, I dunno you and I dunno the gal but that's my take

 

That usually is coming from a woman who isn't into someone, I wouldn't seem "clingy" to her if she was "into" me.

 

THat's just the thing....everytime I get blown off, when I call back a few days later to see if she's available...again...and she still blows me off....well, that's not being clingy it's just "she's not that into you".

[Chocolat]

That usually is coming from a woman who isn't into someone, I wouldn't seem "clingy" to her if she was "into" me.

 

Agreed 100%. When people say someone is clingy, I think they are really saying that are not interested.

 

So why not just move on, IRC?

[xxoo]

If you can see she's not that into you, why ask her friend?

 

Your friend sounds like a nice lady who is going to say something encouraging no matter what, so take her advice with that grain of salt.

[Shepp]

That usually is coming from a woman who isn't into someone, I wouldn't seem "clingy" to her if she was "into" me.

I, hmm, I see your point...I disagree.

I know where your coming from but...theres a reason people 'play it cool'. Even if I was really into a girl if she was too clingy (not saying you were but if she was) y'know blowing up my phone all the time, asking me what I was doing all the time, wanting to see me all the time or just going to fast - y'know pick out baby names on the first date - then that would totally totally kill the attraction for me, even if it was there to start with.

 

I need room to breath, maybe some people don't, but im not the only one who does! Im claustrophobic - in small spaces and maybe even in relationships too. Its not like ive got any problem with commitment - I want marriage, family, all that - but I like my own space, I couldn't be with someone who was clingy however much I loved them....I guess as well its so closely linked to 'needy, jealous etc' that you get those alarm bells ringing.

 

But then im attracted to girls who are pretty independent....it comes down to whatever floats your boat I guess but I there are definitely people out there who clinginess would kill the attraction for.

 

 

THat's just the thing....everytime I get blown off, when I call back a few days later to see if she's available...again...and she still blows me off....well, that's not being clingy it's just "she's not that into you".

If it were me, and I liked her, id take a step back....maybe leave it a 5/6 days and then text her, not asking her out, just something to make her smile (easier, the better you know her, obviously), just casual, I dunno something like 'I just made you look at your phone for no reason ...What've you been up to then?'

y'know what I mean...and then make sure your the one to end the conversation - without asking her out again.

 

She may well be just not that into you but that's changeable!

[TigerCub]

That usually is coming from a woman who isn't into someone, I wouldn't seem "clingy" to her if she was "into" me.

 

THat's just the thing....everytime I get blown off, when I call back a few days later to see if she's available...again...and she still blows me off....well, that's not being clingy it's just "she's not that into you".

 

Why can't you take a hint?

The woman keeps blowing you off and you keep calling her like an annoying chump.

 

I think what that woman is doing is rude and cowardly and that she should have said straight up that she's not interested, but at the same time, why is it so hard for you to pick up on social cues and see that what she's doing = not interested and leave her alone- despite what the friend is telling you.

 

As I told you before, the friend probably told you all that because she didn't want to be the bringer of bad news when you asked her about her friend.

 

There are plenty of other women out there, try your luck with someone else.

[irc333]

 

She may well be just not that into you but that's changeable!

 

Changeable...I don't think so, once a woman makes up her mind about not being interested, it usually sticks.

 

The sheer annoyance of it all would make me move on and I had been doing the occasional text thing once in a while, but that got old everytime she had an excuse not to do anything.

 

She's a bit socially awkward in a sense and her only real social network of friends those she's been staying in touch with since the college days...whom all live nowhere near here. She's new to the group, but doesn't really seem all that into making new friends in general.

 

I'm not one to blow up anyone's phone, never have been. I usually space the time apart by a few days to a week.

 

But, the definition of "clingy" is usually subjective anyhow.

[Shepp]

Changeable...I don't think so, once a woman makes up her mind about not being interested, it usually sticks.

maybe, I always see it more as just a temporary setback!

 

But yeah in this case I cant see that either of you see anything in the relationship worth fighting for at this point. So id say shes just not the one.

[Mrlonelyone]

But apparently me being patient and gentle and understanding is the way to go with women that blow me off every time I ask them out.

 

Yes... then while you're being patient and gentle she's having rough lubrication free anal and being slapped and called a B.... then sucking the ***k of a guy she is into. Oh and that guy can call her over morning noon or nite even while she's at work and she'll drop all of that for him. He's never clingy. (Don't make me post the video... you know the one.)

 

Ok maybe not really. But just envision that is the situation when you are calling and calling and calling her. Unless she's given you a taste of that and you are on her rotation of regular studs, just move on. There are women who want to jump you who are acceptable looking to you. They exist I am sure of it.

[miss_jaclynrae]

It honestly sounds like you were just trying to stir the pot.

 

 

 

 

Why create drama? You know she isn't into you, so just move on.

I also want to add that talking to her friend was a bad idea... did you think she would agree with you?

Hahahahahaha.

 

 

Us women stick together when it comes to stuff like that. There is no way I would tell the guy that my girl was sorta talking to that she wasn't interested obviously. I would say the same exact thing.

[scorpiogirl]

It honestly sounds like you were just trying to stir the pot.

 

 

 

 

Why create drama? You know she isn't into you, so just move on.

I also want to add that talking to her friend was a bad idea... did you think she would agree with you?

Hahahahahaha.

 

 

Us women stick together when it comes to stuff like that. There is no way I would tell the guy that my girl was sorta talking to that she wasn't interested obviously. I would say the same exact thing.

 

 

This poster seems to like to put women I to a corner really and then push till he gets some kind of answer. If it's not what he wants to hear then he comes here to over-analyse it. If a woman says she's not feeling it, just move the crap on. You come across as a little creepy in your posts and like you can never just enjoy a social setting for being social. Everything must always be manipulated into a dating thing.

 

You know her friend was feeding you a line so just move on.

[Mrlonelyone]

This poster seems to like to put women I to a corner really and then push till he gets some kind of answer. If it's not what he wants to hear then he comes here to over-analyse it. If a woman says she's not feeling it, just move the crap on. You come across as a little creepy in your posts and like you can never just enjoy a social setting for being social. Everything must always be manipulated into a dating thing.

 

You know her friend was feeding you a line so just move on.

 

 

I have to defend the OP on this count. He wasn't being creepy he just asked a womans friend for the inside scoop because he knows women often tell friends what they really think, and sometimes peoples friends will just be honest with you.

 

 

This forces me to post a link to the video again.

 

 

Sexual Harassment and You on Vimeo

 

 

The end lesson, to not be creepy, stalkery, clingy, annoying to women...

 

 

Be handsome, be attractive and dont' be unattractive. (Just to make it more complicated each of those varies to a degree from woman to woman and from time to time with the same woman.)

[scorpiogirl]

But this lady's interactions with him already indicated her lack of interest. It's creepy when someone, regardless of attractiveness level, refuses to take no for an answer.

[Mrlonelyone]

But this lady's interactions with him already indicated her lack of interest. It's creepy when someone, regardless of attractiveness level, refuses to take no for an answer.

 

Sure but the only way the man hear that no or sees that disinterest is if he isn't hot enough. A hot enough man, and the man and woman being single, leads to sex.

[Teknoe]

It's all about being nonchalant, man.

 

Come on too strong, and more times than not you kill the attraction.

 

Keep it light hearted, keep it playful. Don't go too over the top. There's an ebb and flow to the process. When it's too one sided, you need to check yourself at the door and slow your role.

[ZipperZapper]

The bottom line is that a woman who won't make time for you isn't interested, period. Sure, some like to play hard to get for kicks, but even those women know there's a limit to how long they can play that game before someone they really are interested disappears.

 

Imagine you had a same-sex friend who kept blowing you off every time you suggested getting together for some activity. How many blow-offs would you accept before getting the hint?