batitm Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 I have posted on here before concerning my desire to get married, but my boyfriend wanting to wait. We've been together a year and a half and are in our mid 20's. Living together about 10 months. My bf is great, supports me financially, never has a bad word to say about me or anyone, takes me out, basically we have the perfect relationship accept for the fact that I'm ready to get engaged and he's not. I know he will be someday otherwise he wouldn't be taking such great care of me now. The problem is I have been offered a job and I would have to end the relationship and move away to accept it. It's a great opportunity and I need the money and work experience. It is everything I wanted, before I started dating him. I told myself that if I was offered the position the only way I would turn it down was if he were to propose. I am certain he has no plans to propose, and I don't know what to do. I'm a follow your head not your heart person and I feel I should take the job but I am really in love and I know if I were to stay we'd get married, but I'm also tired of waiting! I haven't told him it's break up or get married but why can't he just ask me on his own. Any Advice?????????? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Yes I have advice for you: 1) If you don't follow thru on your "ultimatum" you will look like a chump(ette) 2) Your job and future career are much more impt right now in your early 20's 3) Even if you leave town and breakup it does not mean you are split forever 4) Look after yourself and make yourself #1 (this I say for both sexes) The relationship is not leading to marriage right now so you MUST take the job. Trust me, 5 or 10 yrs down the road you will be glad you did. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Tell him you're going to move away and see how he reacts. But you definitely need to talk to him about it, he deserves that! Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Talk to him about the decision. Let him know that this is what you've wanted for a long time and it's important to you, then see how he reacts. I have a sneaking suspicion that my husband proposed for that reason. I had a killer job opportunity, but I would have to move, far away and a lot. He wanted to be able to have a say in what I did with my life and I told him that since he was only my boyfriend, he had absolutely no say. I couldn't rely on him to take care of me, so I had to take care of me. If that meant giving up a relationship that might not go anywhere for a job that would be great for me, I'd have to go for the sure thing. I had to go through about a year's worth of interviews and background checks and wouldn't you know it...6 months into the process, he proposed to me. Yes, I gave up the job opportunity to marry him, but I think it was worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
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