Women HELP Me !!! This is a repost to my earlier question but asked differently

[tiki]

Yeah, I reconsidered and changed my mind too.

 

Give it to her and that way when she finds out, she can dump you and go be with a man that's not too cheap to go buy her a new one.

 

You know I'm kidding. Kinda.

[binturong]

You already know what you want to do. I think you think it's wrong and you're looking for other people to help you justify giving your current GF something that was once another woman's. Doesn't seem like you're going to get that justification here, so either quit asking or take the advice you're given.

[moimeme]

Here's what you do. You tell her you want her to have a ring she loves. Then you show her the diamond and tell her the story just as you told it here and let her choose. Your gal may be eminently practical like some of the respondents or else she may feel there is too much symbolism attached. Either way, you might upset her. She might love a humungous diamond and be upset that you sold it. Or, she may not. But there is no law that you must present a ring with the proposal. You may end up picking a setting or ring she hates - so ask her what she'd like. It will set a good precedent for other big decisions IMHO.

[heckno]

Originally posted by binturong

You already know what you want to do. I think you think it's wrong and you're looking for other people to help you justify giving your current GF something that was once another woman's. Doesn't seem like you're going to get that justification here, so either quit asking or take the advice you're given.

 

2 different threads, (although i read the excuse as to why) and still looking for people to take your side so you can feel justified in passing off a 'used" stone.

 

Hey, do what moimeme says. ASK HER if you're that insistent upon it. Almost every woman on here has said "no, get a new stone", but again, if your girl doesn't get sentimental, you could very well pass your ex's off to her. But don't lie to her about it. Don't "sneak it" into another setting without asking her her opinion. That would be totally wrong.

 

If this rock is based on your love, or love you put into finding it, just remember that was intended for the first woman. It has different meaning no matter how you look at it. imagine if you were given a very special gift by a woman, that was given to her by her ex husband or ex lover. It would take away the meaning wouldnt it. The gift you thought was intended for you, no matter how fitting, doesn't really fit anymore.

 

And on a side note, to me, that rock is jinxed. You don't give something to someone that has a shakey history attached to it already.

[SoleMate]

answerman, it's pointless to keep trying to reword this question so you get more "YES"es. Right now, it's running 10:1 against your reasoning. (Sure, I am in the minority.) But the point is...there's only ONE person whose opinion matters! Like moimeme said, ASK the person whose opinion matters. Quit polling strangers to make important decisions about lasting, symbolic matters.

 

Any reason you can't bring this issue up with the woman that you are planning to spend the rest of your life with????

[bluetuesday]

i like this thread.

 

my opinion is: it's a useless piece of carbon some evil marketing department decided to brainwash you into thinking was a. precious and b. a symbol of love.

 

a diamond is neither of those things. it's a chip of rock.

 

if either of you think it symbolises anything other than big business conning you out of a fortune for something shiny, you're both insane and deserve each other.

[tigerskye]

I posted in other one but thought I would here to! I also thought of more stuff. How amazing....

 

I am sorry but no woman wants to be reminded of her man's past. It is bad enough knowing that your man has been engaged or married before and having to hear about the ex. But even worse to have to wear something that was for her. Everytime she looks at the ring she will not think about you and the love she has for you but rather the other woman and how much you loved her. You want her to look at the ring and think oh my gosh he spent time and effort into picking out this ring for me and it is truely respects US. You need it to respect you and her not you and your ex!

 

If you TRUELY love the new woman you are with, you will spend even more time picking out her diamond ring. It is not about how much you spend on the ring(if you don't have the $15,000) but it about the moment, the thought, the care, and the love that goes into the ring. This ring is a symbol of you and her love, you need to make her know that and that you are ready to move on with your life with her. You need to get rid of the ex's ring(you got rid of her you need to get rid of the ring now) and you need to stop thinking about the money. Normal women don't care how much the ring cost. What we do care about it how much thought the man put into picking it out for her. You need to get out there find out how much you can get for the old one and look for a wonderful one for the new Mrs.

 

BTW, I would not need a $15,000 esspecially for a J color. My roomie got a carat, e color, and vs1 and it costed $5,000. I have seem MANY MANY MANY diamonds that cost around $5,000 that are the most beautiful diamonds I have ever seen.

 

I would rather have a diamond that is cheaper but was picked out for her not someone esle. If you give her someone's esle ring you will only be setting yourself up for trouble!

 

BUY HER A NEW DIAMOND RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember it the thought that counts not the money! So stop being a tight woad!

[tigerskye]

Originally posted by bluetuesday

i like this thread.

 

my opinion is: it's a useless piece of carbon some evil marketing department decided to brainwash you into thinking was a. precious and b. a symbol of love.

 

a diamond is neither of those things. it's a chip of rock.

 

if either of you think it symbolises anything other than big business conning you out of a fortune for something shiny, you're both insane and deserve each other.

 

 

I am sorry gotten post towards this reply. I am in bridal consultanting school and learning about customs of wedding. And the diamond ring was not some evil marketing department decision to brainwash us.

 

The first diamond ring was designed by a european nobleman for his new bride and he presented it to her on their wedding day as an enduring symbol of love. Since then, the diamond has been the gemstone most closely associated with marriage!

[tigerskye]

Originally posted by answerman

 

Another way to put it. Does a stone which is an heirloom only represent the love for a paticular women, (the original women it was given to) If so, how could anyone give it to another women? or does the stone represent the "Love" the giver has to give.

 

When you said this I think you are trying to jusitfy giving her your ex's ring. Your cannot justifty that with a heirloom. Buying a ring for an ex and then giving it to a new girl is totally different than a heirloom. A heirloom is usually something that has special meaning to it between the couple(or at least one person in the couple). Even though that ring is bought for someone esle in the first place it has been passed down through a family, thus my point being it didnot come from a exlover of your man. So when women wear hierloom, when they look at it they think about their family and their love. If a women wears a ex and looks at it it is asking for trouble!