Divorcebug Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I really need some help. 4 months ago, I was forced to move out from our home as my husband would have periods of rage. He started to become worse and spent nights away from home. Keep in mind we've been married 5 years and during those years, at every big fight he would ask for a divorce. Our fights mainly stemmed from him getting up and leaving to night clubs even though I had expressed to him several times this was unacceptable. One of our fights stemmed from me finding out he was dating a woman, calling her and telling her he was married. He was so upset that he told me he wanted the relationship over. I don't believe in divorce so I suggested marriage counseling. He only went for one session but then promised me he wouldn't have any more contact with that woman. Fast forward to last year when I was pregnant and he got a phone call. He acted strange but claimed it was a cousin of his who had called to loan money. I later saw the number and confronted him since it was the lady from 2 yrs prior. He claimed he wasn't sure why she called him asking to loan her some money. After our daughter, he seemed to become depressed. He started to disappear at night again. I finally moved out 4 months ago hoping a separation with MC would help since he wasn't willing to talk. He has never been one to talk. He started to see multiple new women from a dating website literally the day after I left. He told me he was not interested in saving the marriage and has moved on but said " I'll take my time to file for divorce". In terms of his daughter, he would send me emails and text messages on a weekly basis demanding to see her. Once I set up in a public place to meet him and bring our daughter. He no showed! This happened a few more times where we would set up and he would no show. I was sick of being used as his doormat so I told him I was not going to take that from him and he needed to file custody orders to see his daughter. Well, he never did and just continually sent harassing emails each week demanding to see her and threatening to come find her and take her, I decided to go straight no contact for 30 days. He still hasn't filed anything in court. I recontacted him after 30 days after and it's been 3 weeks without any response from him. One of the emails included a letter I received about issues with finances that required both of us to respond. I asked what his plan of tackle is and he did not respond to that as well. I'm not sure what's going on. I don't want divorce but does it look like it's over? If so, why isn't he filing? I can't afford to pay a lawyer right now so I was hoping it'll be an uncontested divorce but no response from him regarding this either . What would you do? I send him pictures of his daughter once a week and he doesn't respond to that either. I can't have any custody agreements with him without court involvement. He has threatened several times to take her and never return her. She's only 15 months old. Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 You need to stay away from this guy and especially keep your daughter away from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikei880 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 First some tough love then some advice..... Why would you go back to this guy that has disrespected you and your kid like he has? There are better MEN out there. This guy is acting like he's 8. I don't know where you live but it sounds like you definitly have grounds for divorce. Find an attorney that does pro bono work and start the process. Get into counseling and start working there too. It sounds like you have little self respect and lack self confidence. They will help with that. This guy has exposed what he is.. do not let him blow smoke up your rear. Go nc other than the business of getting divorced. You and your child will be better off. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I'm sorry but Mike is right. Go see an attorney and file for divorce. Most attorneys have free consultations and give you some advice as to how to move forward. Also, he may have to pay your attorney fees as part of the divorce settlement. At least go talk to one. Good luck! Couldn't agree more, nothing to lose in at least talking to a lawyer. And they may be able to point you to legal aid services which could represent you at reduced or no cost. Do it today! Quit trying to force this asswipe to be a parent. No more pictures, meetings, counseling or texts. Your priority should be navigating the process to secure support for you and your daughter. Her needs - now and future - require that you stop pining for him and start focusing on her. Keep posting and let us know how it's going... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
littlejaz Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Ditto, you need to talk to an attorney as soon as possible. It may take some work on your part but you should be able to find one to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Divorcebug Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Thank you all so much. I appreciate the tough love as well. Sometimes I need that kick. I will start making appointments to meet with attorneys. In the mean time, I have blocked him from all of my emails and my phone. This is an awesome site and I am glad I found it!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 DB, I am going to echo what everyone has said. Because of the fact that you have a child, you need to get the ball rolling on filing so that you can get temporary spousal and child support, BUT also show the court the threats of what he has said on taking your daughter. DCF may have to be present for his visits. Sitting and doing nothing= nothing but time wasted...and you worrying. Link to post Share on other sites
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