tigger Posted March 11, 1999 Share Posted March 11, 1999 My boyfriend just told me he didn't want to live together (we've been planning this for 6 months) in the middle of a fight. the next day he apologized for his behavior but still felt the same way about moving in. We love each other so much and much of our strife comes from being in the sam high pressure academic program. I see his cancellation of our plans as a lack of perseverence through good and bad, lack of committment and just general selfishness (he says he wants to preserve his sanity - but says little of how this will benefit the relationship. Should I accept his crumbs of continuing to date without ramping up the level of committment or let him go? HELP Link to post Share on other sites
mindy Posted March 12, 1999 Share Posted March 12, 1999 Sounds like you are young if you're in school. Why rush things? Sometimes it's good to give the guy some space. I know it's hard because it feels like he'll just go away, but that's the risk you've gotta take. Pushing him too much can drive him away. It might be good for you to have some space too to think things over. He didn't break up with you right? Then you've still got his commitment. If you truly love him, there's no reason to let go, unless you feel he's treating you like crap and has bad intentions. Hope this helped. Mindy My boyfriend just told me he didn't want to live together (we've been planning this for 6 months) in the middle of a fight. the next day he apologized for his behavior but still felt the same way about moving in. We love each other so much and much of our strife comes from being in the sam high pressure academic program. I see his cancellation of our plans as a lack of perseverence through good and bad, lack of committment and just general selfishness (he says he wants to preserve his sanity - but says little of how this will benefit the relationship. Should I accept his crumbs of continuing to date without ramping up the level of committment or let him go? HELP Link to post Share on other sites
kiey Posted March 12, 1999 Share Posted March 12, 1999 I hope you aren't very young. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We're both graduating from college and headed into the work force, but we've never discussed "living together" because neither of is ready for that step. Sometimes you have to take things extremely slow. I tried to rush my boyfriend into marriage, but I had to realize that he wasn't ready for that big of a step and I had to accept it. TAKE YOUR TIME AND LET EACH OTHER BREATHE!!! If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, but don't force the issue. My boyfriend just told me he didn't want to live together (we've been planning this for 6 months) in the middle of a fight. the next day he apologized for his behavior but still felt the same way about moving in. We love each other so much and much of our strife comes from being in the sam high pressure academic program. I see his cancellation of our plans as a lack of perseverence through good and bad, lack of committment and just general selfishness (he says he wants to preserve his sanity - but says little of how this will benefit the relationship. Should I accept his crumbs of continuing to date without ramping up the level of committment or let him go? HELP Link to post Share on other sites
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