leavethepieces Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I'm desperately trying to move past an affair that ended in June. I detailed it on the other man/woman board but I'll briefly say that I fell in love with this man (who is 18 years older than me), he claimed to love me, left his wife and then everything fell apart. My husband and I are in marital therapy and I am in personal therapy trying to cope with depression and moving on. I am still in love with the other man - even though he hurt me deeply, and my husband realizes this. Anyway - recently I have just been craving to flirt with older married men. I haven't, but have been thinking about it a lot. WHY?!? I was incredibly hurt by doing this once, I hurt my husband. I don't think I'm a sex addict because I don't crave sex with my husband very often. But the thought of having sex with an older married man again seems thrilling. I WILL NOT DO IT ever again, but I want to understand what is going on with me so I can cut this off at the roots. Thanks for letting me share as I cannot tell this to any of my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leavethepieces Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 (edited) Do your husband a favor. Suspend marriage counseling until you get just YOU in counseling and tell him why. I am in personal therapy. Edited October 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical relevance Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 What is it about an older married man that entices you so much? Your husband will eventually be an older married man...so isn't that something to look forward to? Or you just don't feel it with your husband. IMHO, don't try to fix a marriage that you don't really want to be in. Let your husband go free and seek happiness with someone who appreciates him. Is it really worth it to be married to someone, and desire others? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 What is it about older, married men that thrill you? Do you like the deceiving, going behind backs to flirt/have sex/etc? Do you like the fact that you could be possibly hurting other people and it makes you feel good that you/older, married men are risking their relationships to be with you? Why not go skydiving if you are in search of thrill? It is definitely concerning that you actually want to go flirt (and possibly do more) with married men. The older part doesn't concern me, some people are into older men. It's the fact that they are married and that thrills you that is concerning. I'm not trying to sound harsh but yeah. Talk to your therapist about this and please don't go through with it. Link to post Share on other sites
James-London Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 as other posters have said - you are not in love with your H. You have left him emotionally and he deserves to be told this. You are not a bad person for loving someone else or for not loving your H. That is just life. But you are a bad person if you are not honest with him about this and let him get the divorce and move on. I think lots of people have weird sexual fantasies. Your fantasy just happens to be sex with older married men. You need to think about all the hurt and suffering this will cause and then ask yourself if that's what you really want.... are you attracted to the hurt you would be creating in some way? Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) I detailed it on the other man/woman board but I'll briefly say that I fell in love with this man (who is 18 years older than me), he claimed to love me, left his wife and then everything fell apart. I have a question, you have posted on the other man and woman board hello you are going to have to do better than, like more information. maybe even a link. Or the name of the other site...? Edited October 9, 2013 by Sparta Link to post Share on other sites
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Look I don't know how you can cure it. I cheated on my girlfriend with an Cambodian girl and now I can't seem to stop fantasizing and wanting another one or the same one, it's really annoying because it doesn't go away. So I guess the best bet is to just masturbate to your fantasy and just leave it at that because unless you want to go get another married man again, you're kinda stuck. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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