Husband not taking any responsibility for anything.

[Mrsdickinson]

So, I have a court case next month, for a stupid amount of debt, that we both have made in 4years. There's a chance I could go prison as it's in my name, as it's a high amount.

(35k).

Husband works and so do I. He earns a lot more then I do.

 

But I feel like I have all the worry of the debt, rent payments, childcare payments and everything on my shoulders. And he has no worrys what so ever.

 

I am stressed. I am fed up. Yesterday my son had an accident, he fell down the escalator out shopping, i told husband.. His answer was i should have been holding his hand, which I was! But he slipped, and I tried to catch him.. All happend so quickly!

 

I have an appointment with my soclitor tomorrow, he hasn't even offered to come with me.

 

I actually can't take anymore of this.

 

This past two weeks he's not even bothered about overtime at work?! He's ha d a chance of working an hour over every day and he's not taken it because "he can't be arsed"?!! I don't know if I can cope.

 

I feel angry with him.

[carhill]

In adversarial relationships of any sort, the person/entity who cares the least has the most power and control. This dynamic plays out up to and including when one party/entity ends up deceased.

 

Unknown how to properly apply the dynamic to your interactions. One suggestion would be to lessen your expectations regarding H's performance as a STBX and parent. You have no control over how or why he does what he does. The main control you have is regarding your own choices. What choices benefit you and your child in the long run?

 

Unless the UK is far different than the US in matters of criminal law, I seriously doubt you'll 'go to prison' over a relatively modest and apparently legally acquired debt. Going to prison for a debt is kind of an oxymoron, in that one is precluded from remedying the reason for their incarceration due to the fact that they're incarcerated.

 

Work with your solicitor and formulate a plan to best suit your needs. Care more about yourself and less about others, including your STBX and creditors. Sometimes hard and harsh decisions must be made. Make the best ones you can and then move on. Good luck.