snowman4839 Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I didn't know that there was term to describe how I feel about social interaction but I saw introvert and looked up it's definition and it like... describes me down to a T. I've always been under the impression that the more social and personable you are, the better you are. Seems kinda like the general direction society pushes people towards. Has anyone else kinda felt bad for not being social? It especially bugs me when it comes to girls. I feel like a wus when I don't go and talk to them but when I do, it's pretty boring. I kinda tried to prove it to myself that it wasn't that I was just a wus by asking a pretty girl I had been checking out in my cal 3 to a date party. The second or third time I ever talked to her I asked her and she said yes. The whole night was pretty stiff and she wasn't very interesting. The best part of the night was being drunk and (as bad as it is to say) her leaving kinda early. The only good thing that came from that night was the fact that I kinda proved to myself that it's not me being to scared to ask. But back to the point, has anyone else ever felt bad for being an introvert? It seems like introverted qualities are generally undesirable. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I didn't know that there was term to describe how I feel about social interaction but I saw introvert and looked up it's definition and it like... describes me down to a T. I've always been under the impression that the more social and personable you are, the better you are. Seems kinda like the general direction society pushes people towards. Has anyone else kinda felt bad for not being social? It especially bugs me when it comes to girls. I feel like a wus when I don't go and talk to them but when I do, it's pretty boring. I kinda tried to prove it to myself that it wasn't that I was just a wus by asking a pretty girl I had been checking out in my cal 3 to a date party. The second or third time I ever talked to her I asked her and she said yes. The whole night was pretty stiff and she wasn't very interesting. The best part of the night was being drunk and (as bad as it is to say) her leaving kinda early. The only good thing that came from that night was the fact that I kinda proved to myself that it's not me being to scared to ask. But back to the point, has anyone else ever felt bad for being an introvert? It seems like introverted qualities are generally undesirable. Introverts generally get sidelined in society, but the truth is that introverts keep the world going and society rests on their shoulders. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubberfly Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) I felt like this around high school age. As I got older, I realized that being overly social and having 800 friends and 800 parties to go didn't really MATTER. I'd much rather spend time with my tight knit group (or by myself for that matter) than worry about forcing myself to be sociable. Do I meet people, even if I spend most my time at home? Sure Do I get invited to parties and enjoy myself if I go? Sure Do I still date? You betcha Society does think you have to be Mr Popular Go-get-em to function and be a happy person. This isn't true. Just because a person is outgoing doesn't make them the slightest bit interesting. My dearest friends are meek librarian types. They mentally stimulate me, and in turn introduce me to their mentally stimulating friends. I found once I stopped pressuring myself to behave and act a way that wasn't natural to me, I myself was a happier person and less stressed out. Honestly, who cares what everyone thinks? Care about what you, and your loved ones think. Edited October 9, 2013 by Bubberfly Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I don't think I've ever felt bad about it, but I do recognize it limits me in some ways. I've had the most success in life when I partnered with an extrovert who was very good at all that socializing. Or when I whipped myself into being more social. You really do have to develop a side of yourself that can be kind of extroverted if you need him to be, even if you find it exhausting. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 (edited) Okay. I just discovered this message on the off chance before heading out for the day. But back to the point, has anyone else ever felt bad for being an introvert? It seems like introverted qualities are generally undesirable. Do you mean being thoughtful and contemplative? Those undesirable qualities? Those sound like great qualities to many people. How people feel has a lot to do with what they say about themselves rather than external things. If people are unable to openly acknowledge the positive within something as intimate as a personality, then how can they possibly feel good about themselves? This video may offer a helpful perspective - Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Video on TED.com Edited October 10, 2013 by ThatMan I had to fix the url Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I have felt bad about it all my life. It doesn't help I have a parent who never accepted it. Susan Cain has written the book Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking. I felt validated after reading it. I keep meaning to go back through it and jot down notes to use in conversation with people. I think we can fight back against those who don't respect us if we know how to explain our side of things. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I can understand your frustration. My dad acts that way as well....the only way you can get somewhere in life is to be outgoing...false. Although it has its benefits if you're pursuing direct sales or direct marketing. However, being introverted is different than shy, which is more of a social anxiety. Many introverts cope in natural environments, but may not have as much to say or prefer to spend their free time alone and recharging. I know spending time at somewhere like a club is draining for me and I get tired easily. Everyone is different and there's nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Sociable people are often more 'popular', but that doesn't make them 'better'. Introverted people aren't necessarily shy nor necessarily have to feel like a wuss around girls. IMO, those are separate issues. Introverts energize from solitary time. Extroverts energize from shared or communal time. Those are different methods of energizing and feeling positive and neither have anything to do with social skills, except that it is possible and likely that an extrovert has developed more extensive skills due to their need/desire for social contact to energize. Either person can be happy or unhappy about themselves and/or their life. Each person has choices. If you 'feel bad' for being an introvert, examine that. Why? Look in the mirror. That's your companion for your brief time on this rock. Enjoy the ride. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amazingdrummer Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I feel the same way as yours, that I wish sometime I could be more extrovert, so I would not waste so many opportunities.... Link to post Share on other sites
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