Soon2bsngl Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I've been posting here only for the past few days but reading posts since the middle of the summer. And to my surprise I am finding more and more people going through the same thing I am. My husband cheated on me and we are desperately trying to patch things up. My question is, does it ever work? After something like this can you make your marriage work again? Or are we just going through the motions and the outcome is inevitable? I don't WANT a divorce but I feel like there is such a rift between us now that I'm wondering if we will ever recover. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 It sure will if you two both put in your 110%. On top of that, your marriage could become 10 times stronger than that of a normal marriage. I wish you two the best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
KissMyTiara Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by Soon2bsngl After something like this can you make your marriage work again? I agree with Moose, but you should understand that for ANY relationship to work, BOTH people have to be willing and able and actually put in the great amount of energy and effort that is necessary to keep it alive, and even more so after an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara I agree with Moose, but you should understand that for ANY relationship to work, BOTH people have to be willing and able and actually put in the great amount of energy and effort that is necessary to keep it alive, and even more so after an affair. key word here is BOTH and BOTH must feel it from the other person.....cause if only 1 is giving 100% and they dont feel it back.....it can make for a tuff recovery....I feel I am currently 100%.....but I FEEL my wife is 90% back.....its getting better thou.....everyday gets better.....I just wish it would come sooner..... Link to post Share on other sites
veronese Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 the key is BOTH wanting it to work as much as each other. Sadly these situations reveal things that can seriously impair the progress, but that's not to say it's not possible. I'm in the same boat and still optimistic, but in addition to holding on to hope, I am now forced to be realistic. The cruel, harsh, painful facts obstruct recovery, but they also enable uncomfortably honest admissions to be faced, confronted, then hopefully resolved. Stick with it for as long as you want to. Don't make rash, impulsive decisions. As time moves on things will become clearer to you. The rift won't disappear, it may ultimately destroy your marriage, but it doesn't necessarily HAVE to. What matters now is that your relationship improves after this crap. That what you've gone through isn't the end of you both but just another phase in your journey together. When I think back on the differences in my marriage from day one, through marriage, childbirth, parenthood, betrayal, etc. each stage in the story differs from the next. I'm hoping that this one diminishes in importance in time, and that we'll enjoy a love that fulfills us both. Well that's what I'm hoping anyway.... but I have no illusions that it's guaranteed... Link to post Share on other sites
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