skinut2234 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Been married 8 years and we've never really had issues or fought over money- I work full time and she stays home with the kids. I made a good living and we live pretty much within our means. The other night I came home and stated there was something I wanted to buy for myself (which I rarely do) and it seemed as though I needed Supreme Court approval to do this- I was hammered with questions about "do I really need it" etc- My point it- I may not NEED it- but I work hard and rarely buy anything for ME- Once and a while- it would be nice to be able to do so- Not sure how to handle- She can pretty much buy what she wants (within reason)- I never hassle her about it- How does it work in your relationship?? It just seems one-sided to me and I'm reluctant to put my foot down..... Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I guess it really depends on what it is you want to buy. If it's something that's not going to interfere with your relationship, and it's not going to set you back as far as paying your regular bills and it doesn't take any food out of your families mouths, buy it. She doesn't have a right to make you feel guilty about it if it's not going to set you back. She's just jealous or even maybe a tad spoiled. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 I agree w/ Moose. My H and I fight about money a lot. He is a spender and I rarely ever get to buy myself or the children clothes b/c there isn't enough in the account. We both work FT and I fell I should be able to buy things for myself and not have to worry about him not spending too much. He opened up his own checking account and started putting his own money into that account and he has to use that money for his things. I no longer have to worry about him taking our ATM card from our joint account and having to ask him all the time how much money he took out. Link to post Share on other sites
whipple Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 I agree with the other posters, but I would be cautious in pointing out that you "work full-time" and she "stays home with the kids", because being home with the kids during the day is hardly fun and games. It's a full-time position as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinut2234 Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 Whipple- You are correct- that is the way I see it- I approach like we both have full-time jobs. I just don't want to have to argue and state my case each and every time I want to buy something (within reason of course)- Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Does she ever buy anything for Herself? Maybe you should talk about how maybe it's time for you both to treat yourself and set aside a bit of money for each of you to do so. Just an idea. I know that sometimes I go a long time without buying something for myself - part of my just doesn't allow myself. She might be like that, too. Link to post Share on other sites
kellydontwanttasleep Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 you have to sit down with her and both of you just vent about how your feeling. then talk about the issues. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Could it be that she is "discouraging" you from buying that certain something, because she already bought it for you for X-mas? Maybe the thought of X-mas bills has her concerned about money. How about putting it on your Christmas list and saying that if you don't get it from Santa, you will wait for a good after-Christmas sale. Link to post Share on other sites
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