boogabstell Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 My ex ended our 16 year relationship. It has been 3 weeks and I am really trying to wrap my head around not having him in my life. We have 2 beautiful young boys. Currently we are both living with his parents due to financial difficulties, which is extremely painful. Every time he goes out, I stay up until he gets home driving myself crazy wondering what he is doing and who he is doing it with. He is very kind in front of the kids...asking me to play games, go for hikes, go out to dinner, etc. He has even asked me to go out to get a bite to eat and have drinks just us two so he could thank me for doing such a great job with the kids. Then I will get texts from him stating that "everyone would be better without me, I am the meaning of dysfunction, I am a loser and I should not raise 2 more, on and on and on. Then the next day he will ask me for a ride home from work (he has lost his license for 3 months) So I am having a huge problem....how do I be a good Mom and be happy when I am so sad inside. How do I maintain a good attitude with him around when I just want to curl up and cry when I see him. He says such nasty, venomous, hurtful words for so long I have begun to believe him. I do not know who I am or what I want. At age 38 I live with my ex fiancé parents. making minimum wage, with 2 kids, what the heck this is deifinately not the life I thought I would have. Any way enough boo hooing I would love some advice on how to cope and be in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Not a good starting point for you and the verbal abuse is not good either. Sounds like he can't stand being around you. This starts the name calling. So you can just take the two kids and yourself and move in with your parents or other family members or friends? You really need to get out of that environment as soon as you can! Start working on that and forget about him and his attitude right now. You have a car use it when he's at work. Start packing your things and your two are not married correct? So he can't go after to take the kids from you. You know your a great mom so remember that! Always remember who you are inside and out and your intent here is to stay positive always don't let him pull you down where you can't do anything and then start to give-up. When he starts with the verbal abuse leave the room or jump in your car and drive off and go somewhere you can have positive thoughts. At this point there is no talking this guy anymore he's beyond talking. Don't go out with him or pick him up from work. Tell him your feeling sick and might have come down with something. In the meantime you need to work on getting out of his parents house but without him. Link to post Share on other sites
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