skinut2234 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I am 36 yr old male- Married 8 years- Same woman 15 years. For the most part- content with sex life (I initiate more than her) She will turn it down more. Lately I am entering a phase where I am horny ALL the time. If I get home and no one is there- I look at internet porn constantly... I think about women at work more and my sex drive is through the roof!- I'm not sure why- and I think she is entering a phase where she is not into it as much which concerns me- I'm addicted to these porn sites and will look at them for hours and then get off..... While this is satisfying- it worries me that I may cave in to temptation a lot sooner should the opportunity arise.... Is this normal for my age? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Yep.. porn is natural. Along as you keep it to porn and not chatting with other women, or having cyber or phone sex. Everyone goes through phases in terms of wanting sex. For a woman, if you two are fighting alot then of course the sex will not be around as much. I wouldn't go about telling her about you are looking at porn, perhaps you two can rent some together. Also, try not to pay for it, since she will find out and give you 100 lashes. As for the money thing, my wife has never said no to anything I wanted, but like you I don't buy alot for myself. Therefore, even though I pay the bills and she works (she has school loans, car loan, etc.. that she pays for) I keep my mouth shut (at least try to) when she shops. She's an adult, she knows what she can afford, and vice-versa. Explain to your wife how you explained it to us, that its not that you need it, but its been something you wanted, and you only live once. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Wheather its a phase for you or her, porn will add to youir problems. The only way it might not, is if she likes it and thinks it fine for you all to use. Porn is a temporary fix for a deeper issue. Ditch the porn, both of you get into counseling to find out for sure if what you all are going through is infact a phase or if there are some deeper issues that haven't been resolved. Good luck. _________________________ "Don't argue with me, you wont win." Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 All things in moderation. If you're spending hours looking at porn and ignoring your responsibilities in life it could become a problem. Depends on how much your porn activites affect your daily life and your relationship with your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 Lately I am entering a phase where I am horny ALL the time. If I get home and no one is there- I look at internet porn constantly... I think about women at work more and my sex drive is through the roof! I'm not sure if the basis of this is psychological or physiological. It could be a normal phase of life even. I'm not a man, so I don't know. A rampaging libido that makes for problems in your daily life though ought to be addressed. So it's up to you to decide if it's causing problems. A low dose of anti-depressant medication, such as Effexor 37.5mg would bring it under control. The medication would NOT stop your ability to be sexual, but it would keep the nagging thoughts back to a dull roar. Also, if you're libido is keeping you in such a 'state-of-readiness' that you are experiencing premature ejaculation, you will notice a marked improvement. Talk it over with your doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 One more though on this...... I'm addicted to these porn sites and will look at them for hours and then get off..... While this is satisfying- it worries me that I may cave in to temptation a lot sooner should the opportunity arise.... I think you are correct to be concerned about this. At orgasm your brain is receiving a shot of the dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which will produce a pleasurable feeling. As time passes you begin to crave this, and as more time passes you may feel the need to increase the dosage. As I said before, this could be a natural progression in male aging, I don't know. Even though you are fairly young, there could still be a need to reestablish a balance in the body's chemicals. A low dose of anti-depressant medication (seratonin uptake inhibitors) could help stabilize these chemicals. Seratonin is another important neurotransmitter present in all sorts of places in your body, you could be experiencing other problems as well that you haven't become aware of, such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). There are natural ways to increase available seratonin as well. One such being an increase in physical exercise. This might be something to explore. But I do hope you will take this up with your family doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
Jason 2003 Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 Just my opinion here but I'd say your problem is not the porn, it's the websites, at least they are if you are paying for your jollies. Stay off the web and go to the Usenet Newsgroups...more variety and it's free. Just make sure you have enough left over for your wife. You can keep her happy and enjoy the porn just remember what our mothers used to tell us...."everything in moderation" Link to post Share on other sites
immoralist Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 So where's the problem? Your libido is substantially greater than your wife's, your jacking-off to Internet porn and you might cheat. Sounds like a typical early 21st century marriage to me. Your marriage is so normal as to be banal. It sounds like you're starting to stray or wanting to stray. If no kids are involved you should divorce your wife and trade up for someone whose sex drive meets yours. Life is short, and Internet porn will only take you so far. Link to post Share on other sites
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