scubasteve Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 im talking to this girl right now, and shes doubting herself. She likes me she hopes she is worthy of being my girlfriend. but she constantly thinks is she strong enough. is this of her turning me down, or just her being extremely shy and stuff Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 im talking to this girl right now, and shes doubting herself. She likes me she hopes she is worthy of being my girlfriend. but she constantly thinks is she strong enough. is this of her turning me down, or just her being extremely shy and stuff That kind of stuff is just her being shy and not understand her feelings. This is why women talk about wanting men who can lead a relationship; they can't do it themselves. Women base everything off their feelings so if you want things to go forward then you need to make her feel good when she's with you. Compliments, humor, put your arm around her when you go places. Trust me they dig that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubberfly Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Guys don't have low self-esteem? Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I think most people have low self-esteem because we are battered with the media/social/cultural expectations that are entirely unrealistic. Then it depends on personal experiences, history of depression/anxiety, people's life's, really it's multifaceted. Not many people are taught how to build there esteem from a young age. Just how to appear to fit in. Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I think most people have low self-esteem because we are battered with the media/social/cultural expectations that are entirely unrealistic. Then it depends on personal experiences, history of depression/anxiety, people's life's, really it's multifaceted. Not many people are taught how to build there esteem from a young age. Just how to appear to fit in. True. I don't envy women in this respect. You all have it pretty hard. You have to be.... *sexy/hot *smart *hard worker *good mom *keep house clean *do tons of errands *balance career and more family than men *remember birthdays and what not *listen to people telling you how to think/act that are often wrong or sending conflicting messages *constantly try to keep up with moving targets of fashion/beauty Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 True. I don't envy women in this respect. You all have it pretty hard. You have to be.... *sexy/hot *smart *hard worker *good mom *keep house clean *do tons of errands *balance career and more family than men *remember birthdays and what not *listen to people telling you how to think/act that are often wrong or sending conflicting messages *constantly try to keep up with moving targets of fashion/beauty I think men have there own pressures as well. Saying that, I took myself out and away from external pressure a long time ago. I don't watch adverts, loads of TV, read magazines, or any of that stuff, and I find I feel no pressure at all. It's amazing how much of it is only media and if you cut out the media, it's gone! Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I still think it's harder for women. We have a list, but it's easier.... Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I still think it's harder for women. We have a list, but it's easier.... It depends on the individual and how they react. We can't determine what external pressures and expectations are placed on us, only how we respond. I accepted long ago I am not perfect, and also that I have been loved, accepted and treasured for being just how I am. Therefore I suppose because of that acceptance, I was able to accept myself and I can honestly say, I do not feel pressure as a woman. I DO sometimes feel pressures about 'god, am I making the right choice?' or '****, I should have done this' but I don't ever feel pressure about things like my weight or my hair colour or if I have fake tan on (stuff like that ) Hope you get me. I suppose what I do struggle with though is rules about how women should act in relationships. I tend to throw that out and just go with the flow. Sometimes that comes back to bite me! Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I don't watch adverts, loads of TV, read magazines, or any of that stuff, and I find I feel no pressure at all. It's amazing how much of it is only media and if you cut out the media, it's gone! Now that you mention this, that's true for me as well! I started to care less and less what people think about me ever since I started being so busy with work and school, resulting in essentially a 99% loss of TV watching. It's pretty cool noticing that media does affect how you perceive yourself in the long run (even if it doesn't seem that way). Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I dunno why but I've noticed that the majority of females in my life (whether ex's, relatives, friends, whatever) have massive struggles with their self esteem. It confuses me a great deal, and has caused a lot of problems in romantic relationships for me in the past. It also seems the more physically beautiful they are, the more esteem issues they have (at least in my experience). I think it might have to do with them being attractive they get attention for their attractiveness, therefore feel it's all they have to offer, and then focus on it so much. Just a theory..... Link to post Share on other sites
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