Pancake08 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Hi! Me and my ex husband have been separated for 5 months and we have 6 months old son before our goal is to fix our marriage but after a couple of months he decided he wanted a divorce because his mother said that we don't love each other because we always fighting,then took the decision to file a separation. Now i have the costudy of the baby and he is seeing him monday and wed. On my place so everytime he is going to visit his son we are always having sex, and today i asked him why he still wanna have sex with me he said" because i have a sexy body. And i asked him if he wanted a divorce after 1 year and he said "maybe" because its best in our situation. But my concern if he really wanted to divorce why he cant satisfy his needs to someone else and now also he is chating with some asian girls and maybe sending money to her too. Is there's anyone can tell me if i should move on even though i still want to fix our marriage? And what does it mean if he still wanna have sex with me and still getting a nice compliment from him about myself?? Link to post Share on other sites
Porridge Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I'm going to be a bit harsh on your husband. Basically, you had a baby and after a couple of sleepless nights he decides he's had enough? He was man enough to impregnate you but he's not man enough to hang around and be a full-time Dad? I don't buy his reasons for leaving, I think he lacks responsibility and maturity and that's why he reached for the door. I'm sure there were problems between you - there can be all sorts of stresses and strains pre and post pregnancy, but no real man walks out on their newborn baby and its mother without having made a considerable effort to remedy the issues. He's cake-eating and right now he loves the arrangement that you've allowed. He still gets the sex but he no longer has to deal with the responsibility. You need to take a firm grip of this as right now, you're being used. That means being assertive and formal with him for the time being. No sex, no allowing him to pull your heartstrings. Be decisive and show strength - if there's ever a chance that he'll grow a proper pair and offer you and baby a secure future, then you need to do this and force him out of his selfish comfort zone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pancake08 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 Even his friend told me the same that he is immature and spoiled. i actually been through a lot since i came in his country. I gave birth 1 month earlier because i had so many complication in pregnancy ( name it placenta previa,gest.diabetes and eclampsia in the end that i almost die. All i wanted is a complete happy family for me and my son. And my son havent been experiencing normal life since he was born. Is theres any way to turn him around and make him realize that he have to take his responsibility with me and his son? by him saying good things about me and also having intimacy is a sign that he still have feelings for me or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Yarrow Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 He's cake-eating and right now he loves the arrangement that you've allowed. He still gets the sex but he no longer has to deal with the responsibility. This is worth saying again. It's very easy. When he asks you for sex, say no. I think you might be thinking that if we wants to have sex with you, it's because he still wants to be with you. That is not the case. He just wants to have sex with someone and he know you won't say no. The other Asian girls on the dating websites, he has to at least buy them dinner and bring them flowers. With you, he just asks for it and gets it. Easy! Stop giving it to him and he will stop asking. Link to post Share on other sites
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