firefly2613 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I'm definitely not an expert, but everything I can find says that you should leave her alone and try to live your life. If you stop contacting her and actually give her that space, she will know you are a different/more valuable(and that's key) person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aybc123 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 fine you guys. so what should i tell her? goodbye? thanks anyways? dont have to tell her anything, just stop talking to her. if she asks you why you stopped talking you still dont have to tell her anything or you could tell her the truth, that you cant be friends because you want to be with her and she doesnt and you aren't able to just go back to the way things were anymore at the moment but to hit you up for coffee in 6 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 You're delaying the inevitable. She doesn't want to be with you and clinging to the hope that she will change her mind about you is making it worse. I know because I have been there. My EX did want to be friends however and I said I couldn't do it. He BU with me. The reason why is i dont want to hear about how great he's doing, how good his life is, who he's dating etc. I couldn't handle that. I would rather live in blissful ignorance. Friends is a bad idea if you are wanting more then that. It is very hard I know. But the best thing for you to do is go NC and move on. The hardest part is accepting it is over but is only then that you will start to move on. And even when you do accept it it takes quite a while to move forward anyway so may as well start now. Link to post Share on other sites
aybc123 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 you arent on your own btw, lots of people do this stuff, myself included. I've been angry with my ex for just cutting me off without even a good bye for a good month and a half now but i had a realisation that the only reason i want to talk to her is because i want to be with her, i still love her, i dont want to be friends. And i can't be friends with her until i don't love her anymore so there is absolutely zero point in us being in contact until im in that place. Its scary but the sooner you realise it the sooner you can start to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 27, 2013 Author Share Posted October 27, 2013 there's no talking to her anyways. she has an answer to everything. we fight more than we get along, that's all we do. i just told her whatever, and she's still texted, but i'm not going to read all of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 here's what happened. i sent a text to her asking if we could make amends and be friends. she responded, and yet gave me the runaround. then i asked if she could give me another chance. this time she brought up all the 'bad things' i did in the past. she told me that i push things and force that she doesn't want to get back. said "the more you push, the more i don't want it. if you let things happen on their own, we could have gotten back." this is so frustrating talking to her, how am i suppose to let things happen, if i don't make a move?!?! if we can't even be friends, how are we suppose to do this? You are like someone who walk and walk and knock against the wall. Most people will not knock against the wall because they see clearly right in front there's a wall. There are some people who are distracted by something else and accidentally knocked against the wall but they realized and moved away. You seriously seem to be the type who knowingly / completely aware of knocking against the wall repeatedly and still choose to continue. Why? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
shortee Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Tell her to stop sending you mixed messages and to stop playing games. And tell her you wont talk to her unless she is ready to stop giving you mixed messages and playing games. Then cut off all contact with her for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 27, 2013 Author Share Posted October 27, 2013 Tell her to stop sending you mixed messages and to stop playing games. And tell her you wont talk to her unless she is ready to stop giving you mixed messages and playing games. Then cut off all contact with her for now. what are the mixed messages is she sending me? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Tell her to stop sending you mixed messages and to stop playing games. And tell her you wont talk to her unless she is ready to stop giving you mixed messages and playing games. Then cut off all contact with her for now. That's a waste of his breath, or texting ability. Better to stay silent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 she sent me a text last night. "You pushed too far. You force things you don't listen nor are you consistent. You're not ready to be my friend, your feelings are not close to being platonic. You don't know how to be happy for me because you're busy trying to have happiness with me. It's done, been done. You drained out everything out of me that I was willing to give you. You don't deserve anything from me anymore. Tough love. Live and learn and move on. Please leave it alone." i was drunk last night and responded. "you're the one who pushed me, while we were in a relationship, you became emotionally detached, and i felt i couldn't do anything about it. then you kept demanding, and expecting me to make the relationship work, all by myself. i'm not dependent on you for happiness, because i found it within. and you're right, i don't have platonic feelings for you, because i still love you, our situation is still fresh. so sorry i am the way i am." Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 she sent me a text last night. "You pushed too far. You force things you don't listen nor are you consistent. You're not ready to be my friend, your feelings are not close to being platonic. You don't know how to be happy for me because you're busy trying to have happiness with me. It's done, been done. You drained out everything out of me that I was willing to give you. You don't deserve anything from me anymore. Tough love. Live and learn and move on. Please leave it alone." i was drunk last night and responded. "you're the one who pushed me, while we were in a relationship, you became emotionally detached, and i felt i couldn't do anything about it. then you kept demanding, and expecting me to make the relationship work, all by myself. i'm not dependent on you for happiness, because i found it within. and you're right, i don't have platonic feelings for you, because i still love you, our situation is still fresh. so sorry i am the way i am." Sucks man what can we say. Why we say let them breathe and move on. Lessons learned. Go NC and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Sucks man what can we say. Why we say let them breathe and move on. Lessons learned. Go NC and move forward. it f*cking sucks. i hate who she's become. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 "You pushed too far. You force things you don't listen nor are you consistent. You're not ready to be my friend, your feelings are not close to being platonic. You don't know how to be happy for me because you're busy trying to have happiness with me. It's done, been done. You drained out everything out of me that I was willing to give you. You don't deserve anything from me anymore. Tough love. Live and learn and move on. Please leave it alone." Okay! You should be done now! It's over! You can't get anymore closure than this! Time to go hard NC. AND I MEAN HARD!! Block her on facebook, unfollow her on twitter and all of that social media crap. Ignore ALL texts and phonecalls! And you send nothing at all! Personally, she sounds like a spoiled, self titled little bitch that pissed off that you pulled her off the pedestal that she was on. It's the 21st century! Guys should have to "chase" after their girls anymore! We work full time jobs, more responsibilities than ever! We want a partner at our side, not one we have to "chase down". Stay put, we'll get there! DAMN! You know what you need to do, tell yourself that you are done chasing! Let some other dumbass chase after her! You want a girl that is strong and independent. A girl that wants to be with you rather than NEEDS to be with you. A girl that you don't have to constantly prove yourself too. There's a big difference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 29, 2013 Author Share Posted October 29, 2013 I just don't get why we can't at least be friends. her excuse is that my feelings are not platonic. after we broke up I told her all or nothing, no friendship.. Then she begged and cried to just stay friends. so I agreed. now she changed her mind. could it be another guy is in the picture? Link to post Share on other sites
nbman Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 If there isn't another guy in the picture today, there will be tomorrow. You can bank on that! Only you will be able to let go when you are ready. Everyone can tell you all day long, but until you wake up and decide that "Today, I take back my life!!" you will still hurt for the loss of this relationship. There is no friendship, she never wanted one, that is what people say to soften the blow when they tell you that they don't want you anymore.. If you keep talking to her, following her, or checking in on her, you are going to be hurt even more when you find out for ceratain that you have been REPLACED... Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I just don't get why we can't at least be friends. her excuse is that my feelings are not platonic. after we broke up I told her all or nothing, no friendship.. Then she begged and cried to just stay friends. so I agreed. now she changed her mind. could it be another guy is in the picture? Dumpers leave for many reasons, but that doesn't mean that they're ready to give up a bond. They selfishly offer "friendship" for two reasons: 1.) They feel that it's a compromise the dumpee will be willing to accept, and makes them feel better for offering it and lessening the blow (side benefit, if you turn down the offer...well, they can say that they "tried") 2.) They want to have their cake and eat it too. They don't want to give you up, but want to look for something better. Doesn't make them bad people per se. Just means that they're being inconsiderate, selfish and lack the abilities to properly reflect and communicate on the issue at hand or realize what is really best for their now-former partner. I honestly cannot blame them...they're in a difficult spot, even if they put themselves there. Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Why did you open the can of worms? Move on, she said enough, there is no happy ending here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scoot Scoot Posted October 29, 2013 Author Share Posted October 29, 2013 Here's the thing, I'm still friends with one of my ex's. then I told her I don't want to be friends with her, the she got jealous and said it was unfair. Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Here's the thing, I'm still friends with one of my ex's. then I told her I don't want to be friends with her, the she got jealous and said it was unfair. Stop all this non sense, you are alienating yourself. Stop contacting her and all of her friends. who cares what they say? MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. she has done so already Link to post Share on other sites
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