I have NO friends

[Outsider77]

If someone hasn't suggested you might investigate avoidant personality disorder and see if it sounds like you. Just knowing about it can really help you strategize.

 

Well, I know I have social anxiety. I've gotten over a lot of it. I had a rough childhood. I was mistreated by the majority of people that I was around for a long period of time. Bullied in school also. I think if I hadn't had those experiences, I would still have anxiety but to a lesser extent.

[SerCay]

I think my problem is that I'm just too unusual. Don't really like a lot of things that women like, but I'm still feminine. I don't really like to talk about "regular" things that women talk about.

 

I always was able to get along with guys better. I have somewhat of a guy's sense of humor and tend to be very direct when talking to people. I just say what I mean, but sometimes I'm too honest. I'm not really good at being "fake" like other people. I just don't feel right doing it, even though I'm capable of it.

 

When I was a kid I had a lot of friends. But as I grew, things changed and it became obvious that I was different.

 

I'm actually a lot of fun to be around when I'm around the right people. I find other people, especially women, to be too boring and "grown-up". I have not grown up enough, apparently, to get along with women my age. I don't want to spend ages talking about kids and husbands and stupid tv shows that women like to watch.

 

I wouldn't mind being friends with guys but the problem with that is they usually don't want to be just friends.

 

It would just be nice to have other intelligent people who also have some of the same interests as friends.

 

OP,

 

I'm exactly like you. I have ADD combined with high IQ (not trying to be arrogant, honest) and I also am feminine but not too preoccupied with usual female things.

 

I used to have a lot of male friends, because I too get along with them better, but I chose to walk away from them because sooner or later they fall in love, and I hate the ''friendzone'' thing. If they don't fall in love, they get a girlfriend and she doesnt want him to hang out with me anymore (which I totally understand).

 

1 of my male friends was really genuine though and I also became friends with his girlfriend..and then they migrated to another country...

 

The female best friends I had one by one ''left'' me because (these are actual reasons): 2 of them are mad because their boyfriends like me (just liking not in a bad way), 1 because she thought I was too blunt (I called her out on making excuses to stay indoors when we had plans to go out, she was depressed). Then my best friend from high school got married and moved away and she was basically in her own world (which is also normal) but she kept expecting my side of the attention (which I didnt do, no matter how lonely I am, friendships are supposed to be reciprocal).

 

Next to that, I also hate to talk about today's music, instagram and all the picture stuff people my age are into nowadays etc etc..

 

I also droppe out of college and high school before that and worked 2 or 3 sh*tty jobs before getting into uni by taking an entrance test.

 

I can relate..as you can read.

 

Feel free to PM me, just know you're not totally alone in your ''kind''

 

xo Ser

[felicity1]

Tonight when the supermarket checkout guy asked me "how are you?" I thought to myself, I'm going to say exactly what I feel rather than saying "I'm fine thank-you". So I began to tell him how I never feel so good around this time of the year with xmas approaching and all. I said "I feel like something bad happened to me when I was a child around november time and every year at this time I get this anxiety". He replied "I hope it wasn't something terrible. You know maybe it's the change in weather that's affecting you..." I find it freeing to say what's on my mind to a stranger just for a minute or two, rather than engage in restricting pleasantry. I think most people find it refreshing

[Outsider77]

Just wanted to comment to say you're not alone. I think there is a lot of loneliness out there. Even people that have these large social network feel lonely because there is no real connection now of days. Everything is superficial, and people only want to see you happy. No one wants to here about any struggle you may be facing.

 

I agree, nobody really seems to want to hear about anything negative or something that isn't silly or superficial. I like talking about real things but other people just seem to want to pretend like everything is great. Like the movie Pleasantville.

[Outsider77]

Tonight when the supermarket checkout guy asked me "how are you?" I thought to myself, I'm going to say exactly what I feel rather than saying "I'm fine thank-you". So I began to tell him how I never feel so good around this time of the year with xmas approaching and all. I said "I feel like something bad happened to me when I was a child around november time and every year at this time I get this anxiety". He replied "I hope it wasn't something terrible. You know maybe it's the change in weather that's affecting you..." I find it freeing to say what's on my mind to a stranger just for a minute or two, rather than engage in restricting pleasantry. I think most people find it refreshing

 

I have done that for a long time. I tell people what's on my mind. Maybe some people find it refreshing, but I think most people just think I'm strange, unfortunately.

[felicity1]

I have done that for a long time. I tell people what's on my mind. Maybe some people find it refreshing, but I think most people just think I'm strange, unfortunately.

 

If someone doesn't reply me or looks at me wierd or something then I guess they may think I'm strange too, but most people have something to say.

 

I love and try to live this quote by Emerson:

 

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment".

 

To hell with people who may think I'm wierd. I'm me. I'm an arty sort of person and I love spontaneity in other people as long as they are not offensive.

Edited November 30, 2013 by felicity1

[felicity1]

No one wants to here about any struggle you may be facing.

 

What you do is briefly impose your problem on someone, then exit quickly. This way you are releasing and being yourself but not being a 'burden" either. Of course you have to choose the right moment/context depending on your level of courage.

[BOREDouttaMymind]

did you know attitude is 99% of the problem for most issues?

 

youre right. you have no friends, and guess what, youre never going to have friends with that attitude.

 

its rough, but its true. how are you to find friends if you think you have none?

 

go stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself, "I do have friends, I just have to find them".

 

I know its unbelieveable, but its true. people can sense this 'I have no friends' attitude.

 

im saying you have no one to hang with. that's probably true. but you DO have friends. you just have to find them. change the attitude, change the results.

 

if a marathon runner kept saying, "IM NOT FAST".. do you think he would run his fastest? the answer is no.

[saz123]

There is nothing wrong with me. I just have no friends. Zero. I have no friends from school because I dropped out and moved. I also never finished college. I don't work because I have this crappy arthritis disease that came on suddenly and now I'm like a freaking cripple.

 

I am very smart, but I just don't have anything in common with most people because most people who are intelligent are not in my situation. Very smart people rarely drop out of high school and work ****ty jobs. Trying to make friends with others is difficult because I want to talk about nerdy things and they want to talk about reality tv.

 

I have a lot of trouble talking to people even though I have a lot that I want to say. I feel that most people just think I'm weird or stuck-up because I just sit there and say nothing.

 

I don't like to talk about the weather, or current events, or sports. Most of these things are boring to me. Usually I want to talk about biology or science other things that nobody else cares about.

 

I also generally don't ask people personal questions because I feel that I am intruding on their personal lives. Most people have no problem doing this but I feel that if someone wants to tell me about themselves, they will do it without my asking.

 

I usually just feel very awkward around people. I never know what to say. I have a good sense of humor, I'm talented, fairly attractive, and intelligent. There is no logical reason for me to be so isolated.

 

Any suggestions on how to solve my problem would be appreciated.

 

I can relate too, I pretty much have no friends apart from my boyfriend and family. I dropped out of school and it was fine for a few months, we met up and now suddenly they don't want to know me anymore. They've stopped inviting me out and whenever I say 'we should go out' they'll have an excuse of some kind and say they can't. Upsetting.

I've joined the gym and work locally in a shop; I find this is a good way to meet new people and make you feel better as a person

 

When I think about the fact that I don't have friends it makes me feel isolated and quite useless. I'm quite a quiet person and I'd never though this would happen. However! Truth is you do have friends. Your family are your friends

 

From personal experiences I'd recommend that you join some form of club whether that be a science club any kind of exercise club is also good, like aerobics, pole dancing (non crude type), gym, Zumba... Exercise also makes you feel better as a person

 

You're not alone!