loosinghope Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 My boyfriend said he isn't sure he loves me romanticaly anymore! Post: 1 | Quote: My boyrfriend and I have been good friends for almost a year now. I was seeing someone else when we met, but we had this instant connection. While I was still in this bad relationship, he came out and told me he liked me. Well after some bad times fell on his life, he ran off for 3 months, and didn't talk to me. One day out of the blue he calls and within some time we ended up getting together. We've been seeing each other now for 4 months. Abotu a month ago he lost his job that he had for 3 years. It was hard on him. Around the same time he started to act distant form me. Finally the other night I asked him what was going on, and he replied "I'm not sure I still love you ramanticaly anymore. I know I love you, and I care about you.. but I'm not sure it's romanticaly anymore" Things were never better when we started seeing each other.. then when he lost his job it all seemed to fall apart. Now I'm only seeing him once or twice a week, adn he's still being distant. It's only been about 2 weeks... but I'm so dead inside and scared to spend anytime alone with him in fear he'll dump me. He says thats not what he wants right now.. but that he just needs time to think things out. I love him more then any other person I have ever been with. It's different with him. We found each other again before, I'm hoping we can do it again. But I'm afraid this time he'll run forever, and right now I can't bare to loose him. He means so much to me. I haven't looked down on him at all for not having a job.. but I have helped him finacialy a lot. Our friends think he's feeling down because he's depending on me. Either way, I feel like I'm loosing him. One day he's in a great mood, the next he's miserable. I know he's in a bad depression, but how can we work this out together without loosing each other? I spent a great deal of money taking him on a romantic weekend, adn it only seemed to make things worse afterwards. What do I do!!?? Please Help! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 It sounds like he cares for you but doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If he needs time to get his head clear and think things over, then tell him that he is welcome to do so - but that until he does, he is not to contact you in any way shape or form (no contact). His depression over his job loss is not your responsibility, nor is it an excuse to leave you hanging like that. If you do a 'no contact' he'll have some time to process it without the distraction of his "relationship confusion". If he needs support, I'm sure he has friends he can turn to. Someone has to be decisive here, and I can guarantee you it won't be him. He'll keep you hanging on like this until you eventually leave him or he finds someone that he IS sure about. If you do the 'no contact' and show it what it would be like to have you out of his life - then maybe he will reconsider his "confusion". He may not, though and you'll need to prepare yourself for that. Link to post Share on other sites
SpaceCoyote Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 To me it sounds like the other problems in his life are cluttering his mind and really keeping him from thinking clearly about you. Maybe deep down he does want to be with you, or maybe he does know what he is saying and he truly isn't interested anymore. The point is that I don't think he'll be able to come clean with you about where your relationship stands until he gets his other affairs in order. If he really is coming apart and having mood swings and depressions, maybe he should consider seeking help, like from a therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
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