medication (tony can you help me out again?)

[jennie]

i am taking celexa for some obsessive thinking problems, not OCD, just some thinking components of it tho. the first time i took the celexa at 10 mgs and felt so great and so free, i did not obsess about my boyfriend or other things.

 

then i started having this problem with being despondent, very depressed, so i quit taking it. once it was coming out of my system i noticed all the old feelings returning and the obsessing returning as well.

 

this was very hard to take and i hated the way i was feeling again, i wanted to be rid of that person, yuck! i also noticed that when i was on the celexa that i was really bothered and annoyed by my boyfriend and learned that all was not my fault in our relationship and pointed this out to him, he still don't believe me.

 

anyway, i tried zoloft but could not tolerate it, so i am trying the celexa again and have been on 5mgs for only two days and i feel the good feelings returning and the same feelings toward my boyfriend.

 

my question then is this: how do i know which are my true feelings? if i feel a neediness towards him when i am off the celexa and can easily confuse my insecurity as love, then when im on the celexa and feeling strong and in control of my life, which is the real me, which are "my" real feelings?

 

the other thing is when i do slip and say something to him about my jealousy, he tells me to keep taking my pills, or asks me if i'm still taking them, i tell him this is not a cure all, and to expect it still cause it is apart of my personality as well, and he don't like this, but too bad.

 

i'm tired of feeling like i'm always trying to please him, he does alot for us financially, but i feel like i do it all emotionally.

 

does this make sense? i hope so cause i can't explain it any differently. now if this stuff would just start helping me not obsess about my typing errors, then i would feel cured.......lol! any advise? would be apprecitated! ...............thank you!...........jennie

[Laurynn]

Hi there...sorry to butt in. I'm not Tony, but I am an RN :-)

 

Do you go for regular counseling or therapy? If you don't, I really recommend it. "Pills" aren't going to help you completely.....you need someone to work with you to figure out the root for your negative/obsessive thoughts. Even people who take antidepressants for depression.....the medication is simply not enough.

 

Celexa, or any other medication that you might use....it's not going to *make* you have good thoughts.....it's not going to *change* your thoughts into good ones.....so yes, the good feelings that you feel are YOURS, it's not the pills making them good....though to be honest with you, if you've only taken 5mg for 2 days, that's really not enough of the medication in your body to *really* make a difference in your thoughts. It can honestly take a few weeks to notice a change.

 

Have you had this problem of 'obsessive thoughts' in other relationships? Have you experienced this all your life, in all relationships? OR is this something that you've only encountered with your current boyfriend?

 

I hate to say it, but if you have problems with jealousy and insecurity, there aren't any magical pills out there that are going to change this.....unless you spend some time with a psychotherapist/psychiatrist/psychologist, etc..to get to the root of these problems.

 

What are your most common obsessive thoughts? That your boyfriend is cheating? (has he ever cheated)..that he's lying? (has he ever lied)...that he's going to leave you?

 

How long have you 2 been in a relationship?

 

Has this been a problem from the beginning of your relationship? Or was there a certain incident or behavior of his that seemed to 'trigger' it?

 

Laurynn

[Vega]

You should see some type of counselor to help work through all of this. My ex had to take some meds for a while and they actually made him a lot worse if he ran out or missed a dose.(he also grew very dependent on them)He ended up have see a therapist to work everything out.

 

I also agree that no pill will just change you, these feelings are there for a reason and you need to get to the root of the problem before you can fix it.

[Tony T]

Feelings are feelings...whether they change from the effects of prescription medication, outside influences, PMS, watching movies or TV, or whatever. True feelings are what you feel at the time.

 

The feelings of people without medical problems can change in a heartbeat. You have no idea how many people fall out of love each day, although it's usually a more gradual process.

 

People can go from being happy to being depressed in minutes...and what they feel at the time are their TRUE feelings.

 

I do have a real issue with your boyfriend asking you to take pills when you say something he considers inappropriate. This is akin to asking you if you are on your period. You need to tell him you are taking your medication as prescribed and he doesn't need to be rude in asking about it. Let him know you are doing everything possible to make yourself better for HIM as well as yourself.

 

It seems Laurynn has also responded and perhaps she has given you more detailed information on this. She has a nursing background and should be able to give you some excellent pointers.

 

I urge you to discuss this with your physician immediately if you have any doubts about what is going on. I'm really glad you are feeling better.

[jennie]

hi and thank you for such a detailed answer, in answer to your questions: i have had jealousy and control issues since i can remember. i have been this way with every boyfriend that i can remember but never new what it was.

 

i have mostly obsessive thoughts about him lying, not so much cheating. he has lied in the past but that was over two years ago and i don't think he has since then.

 

it's my own lack of trust i guess that makes everybody suspcious to me anyway. we have been together for 2 1/2 years and live together for a long time now.

 

my obsesssive thought are also about other things, like what to buy, making the right decision, my daughter and always butting in her business, etc.

 

i don't have any compulsions thank god! i was in therapy for the jealousy thing and it helped too but i needed more then that.

 

i am going to go back to counseling as i have forgotten the side benefits of it helping me. i was on the celexa about two months or so and was on it for about three weeks, it was at that time that i noticed the difference in my feelings towards him.

 

when i am off i feel more dependent on him then when i am on

 

or when i was on, i felt more irritated with him as he is so easily irritated, impatient and at times i think that he thinks he is better then everyone in the world.

 

other then that he is a very nice man, treats me well, needs to work on communication too.....i tell him this pill is not a cure all, now he has to believe me!

 

i know that it isn't going to fix my jealousy and control problems, but it does help me not to obsess about him to let him live his life as he needs too.

 

it don't help me to trust but it helps me let go, does that make sense? thank you for your help, i really appreciate it!

Hi there...sorry to butt in. I'm not Tony, but I am an RN :-) Do you go for regular counseling or therapy? If you don't, I really recommend it. "Pills" aren't going to help you completely.....you need someone to work with you to figure out the root for your negative/obsessive thoughts. Even people who take antidepressants for depression.....the medication is simply not enough. Celexa, or any other medication that you might use....it's not going to *make* you have good thoughts.....it's not going to *change* your thoughts into good ones.....so yes, the good feelings that you feel are YOURS, it's not the pills making them good....though to be honest with you, if you've only taken 5mg for 2 days, that's really not enough of the medication in your body to *really* make a difference in your thoughts. It can honestly take a few weeks to notice a change. Have you had this problem of 'obsessive thoughts' in other relationships? Have you experienced this all your life, in all relationships? OR is this something that you've only encountered with your current boyfriend? I hate to say it, but if you have problems with jealousy and insecurity, there aren't any magical pills out there that are going to change this.....unless you spend some time with a psychotherapist/psychiatrist/psychologist, etc..to get to the root of these problems. What are your most common obsessive thoughts? That your boyfriend is cheating? (has he ever cheated)..that he's lying? (has he ever lied)...that he's going to leave you? How long have you 2 been in a relationship?

 

Has this been a problem from the beginning of your relationship? Or was there a certain incident or behavior of his that seemed to 'trigger' it?

 

Laurynn

[Tony T]

Feelings are feelings...whether they change from the effects of prescription medication, outside influences, PMS, watching movies or TV, or whatever. True feelings are what you feel at the time.

 

The feelings of people without medical problems can change in a heartbeat. You have no idea how many people fall out of love each day, although it's usually a more gradual process.

 

People can go from being happy to being depressed in minutes...and what they feel at the time are their TRUE feelings.

 

I do have a real issue with your boyfriend asking you to take pills when you say something he considers inappropriate. This is akin to asking you if you are on your period. You need to tell him you are taking your medication as prescribed and he doesn't need to be rude in asking about it. Let him know you are doing everything possible to make yourself better for HIM as well as yourself.

 

It seems Laurynn has also responded and perhaps she has given you more detailed information on this. She has a nursing background and should be able to give you some excellent pointers.

 

I urge you to discuss this with your physician immediately if you have any doubts about what is going on. I'm really glad you are feeling better.

[Laurynn]

Hi again :-)

 

If you admit that the 2 of you have problems with communication and that your b/f thinks that this medication will be "a cure"....maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to go for some counseling too? Like maybe some joint counseling? It's equally as important for him to understand the dynamics of things as well....or else he might have unrealistic expectations of you (and the medications)....ya know?

 

I am surely not trying to diagnose you, or come across like I know it all.....but I was just wondering......it almost sounds like in addition to having difficulties trusting others, you don't trust yourself either.....meaning, you don't trust your judgement and maybe that's why you have problems making decisions. Like, maybe a problem with self esteem and self confidence? I know that sometimes people are too quick to blame all their adult problems on their "dysfunctional childhood"......but sometimes I think the root of your insecurities and issues DO come from our childhood....how we were treated by parents, whether we were lied to a lot as kids, or made to feel inferior or stupid (whether stated or implied).....whether we were really able to TRUST those we loved (parents)......etc. I'm not suggesting that a person should just say "my childhood sucked and I am the way I am because of that!"....but if you could spend some time with a counselor or therapist......and perhaps try to get to the root of this, you might find things from childhood that are holding you back....subconscious things.

 

You might also consider calling up your local Mental Health department and asking if they have any support groups for people with obsessive and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder.

 

Take care! :-)

 

Laurynn

[jennie]

well thank you again, actually i have brought up counseling for both of us and the funny thing is he says he'll go but he wants to go to make sure that i tell all, ya know what i mean?

 

since he thinks i have the majority of the problems, he has admitted as much as being moody and snappy when work it too much.

 

if i go i will feel better about myself, if he don't want to go, then it is his loss and i have informed him that if i go and i change and he don't change with me that it could be over..........maybe i'll tell him again, i wish he would go with me.........i'll work on it for sure!

 

i am taking this self-esteem class for women on jan 22nd, it is a five week class covering several topics. i am hoping that this will help me.

 

i am hoping that the celexa will also help me with the obsessing and not stop working! who knows maybe i'll realize that he just isn't for me!....thank you......jennie

Hi again :-) If you admit that the 2 of you have problems with communication and that your b/f thinks that this medication will be "a cure"....maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to go for some counseling too? Like maybe some joint counseling? It's equally as important for him to understand the dynamics of things as well....or else he might have unrealistic expectations of you (and the medications)....ya know? I am surely not trying to diagnose you, or come across like I know it all.....but I was just wondering......it almost sounds like in addition to having difficulties trusting others, you don't trust yourself either.....meaning, you don't trust your judgement and maybe that's why you have problems making decisions. Like, maybe a problem with self esteem and self confidence? I know that sometimes people are too quick to blame all their adult problems on their "dysfunctional childhood"......but sometimes I think the root of your insecurities and issues DO come from our childhood....how we were treated by parents, whether we were lied to a lot as kids, or made to feel inferior or stupid (whether stated or implied).....whether we were really able to TRUST those we loved (parents)......etc. I'm not suggesting that a person should just say "my childhood sucked and I am the way I am because of that!"....but if you could spend some time with a counselor or therapist......and perhaps try to get to the root of this, you might find things from childhood that are holding you back....subconscious things. You might also consider calling up your local Mental Health department and asking if they have any support groups for people with obsessive and/or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Take care! :-) Laurynn