aarsky Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 My story's is a bit of a long one, not to bore you, but i really will try and be brief. Met a woman four years ago after we had both joined the same co-ed softball league. I wasn't instantly drawn to her but as time went by the feelings changed. There was a way about her that was very calming and easy to be around, and I started to feel an attraction towards her, a real sense that I truly am in love with this person. After spending time with her on different occasssions, it just kind of happened and we grew much closer to each other, which was at the time wierd, not so much that we didnt belong with one another, but that we were both still somewhat involved with other people. I am going to take a total twist to this story and work my way backwards now from the present to the past, and again, I'll try and be brief. We are no longer together as I'd like to be, and I know it's because of all the things I did or began to do that just kept pushing her away and still does to this very day. I, like the dope that I am, became an internet addict and I don't mean just chat rooms and such, I mean an all no holds barred various topics internet junkie, and I hope you all know what I mean by various topics, after all I'm male. Just want you all to know it also cost me a great job as well, for those of you who don't think the boss is watching. I now know in my heart why I did all of this to cause her to give up hope with me, and I just want to say these same feelings I have about myself have caused me to become a sometimes reall obnoxious ogre towards her when I talk to her anywhere, blaming her for not taking me back. The bottom line is I love her, but it's like as Ive heard from so many others and have even read on this message board, you jusst can't control someone elses feelings and just tell them to forget and promise that you won't do it anymore. I am seeing that now more and more and that's why the effort to try and with hold from contacting her all the time. I know how I feel as I am truly sorry for the heartache I caused. And now that I know how I can fix it, it's too late anyway, in my opinion. So I would like a females viwpoint on this. I know I havent given you all to many details really but the guts of the story is there. I love this woman with all my heart and hope one day I can show her I've changed. But only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Has she given you any indication that she still has feelings for you? If not, then I'd suggest letting this one go. You may always love her, but it will fade with time and won't cause you as much heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
aarsky Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 All she says now is I bug her all the time and Im so negative. I tell her its bcause I realized all the mistakes I made and I know to fix them. But she says Im just a liar and will always be bad for her. But I dont know how to just let her go out of my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Acknowledging how we screw up is part of becoming authentic and having integrity with ourselves and in our relationships. But it's no guarantee you will get her back. Give her space. She wants it it. By not respecting that, you are violating her privacy and making things worse. Pursuing someone who wants distance, creates more distance. She will not respect you for bugging her. All you can do is declare your love, and that's it. Fixing, begging, bugging NEVER works. Read the Lost Guide to No Contact V3 on this site. No Contact allows healing time, even if it's something you don't want, and gives her time as well to either rethink the decision or move on. Take it one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. By bugging her, you're making it harder on yourself. Yes, heartbreak is horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
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