Do you find it hard to talk to people about depression?

[thishatteredsymphony]

Do any of you feel like you really can't talk to anyone about your depression, if you have it?

 

Despite all the overwhelming advice I get from friends, family, therapists, the internet, books, etc., I have extreme difficulty talking to anyone about how I feel.

 

My depression is getting far worse lately. I've been working at a new job now for three weeks, after several months of unemployment. It's not the most fun job ever, but it has amazing benefits and I get paid very well. It's the first real sign of good things to come that I've had in a long time. And because of that, I'm having a hard time trying to go to therapy which I desperately want right now. I can't schedule the time off because I don't have any PTO accrued and since I just started I don't want to give my boss the impression that I'm a potential flake, since I haven't been working there long.

 

Nor do I feel I can be honest with her because -- let's face it -- despite all the research on the subject, it's a difficult topic to discuss and there's also a negative social stigma about it. I'm afraid to give the impression that I'm crazy (not that I think I'm crazy, but others may think it), and therefore unstable to work.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Edited October 10, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony

[Outsider77]

Honestly, I wouldn't talk to my boss about it either. People can be very judgmental about mental illness. Even though many many people have some form of it, it is still a somewhat taboo topic.

 

However, I would definitely talk to my close friends and family about it. It helps to have someone to talk to.

 

I've been depressed almost my whole life. I've found that talking about it and not allowing myself to wallow in it really helps. If you dwell on things and focus on the depression you are just feeding into it.

 

People always said to me to focus on the positive and always follow a negative thought with a positive one. I thought they were full of ****. But I tried doing it recently and it did help for a long time.

[thishatteredsymphony]

I talk about it to my close friends and family, but probably not as much as I should. I'm just so afraid of how they'll react. Somehow I can't get over that part. Granted, I don't want to dump this on them too much because ultimately I'm sure it becomes emotionally draining on them.

 

I think the issue I'm facing is trying to find that line in terms of how much is too much?

 

Also, as much as I can't and don't want to talk to my boss about it, should I try to schedule a day off? Maybe say I need a mandatory physical or something? I really, REALLY want to go back to therapy, as I think that would do me some more good right now.

[Outsider77]

I can't tell you how much you can tell your friends or family as I don't know them. It really depends on how good of a relationship you have. I come from a dysfunctional family so there is only so much I can tell them and rely on them.

 

If you have a good relationship with friends and family I would not worry about confiding in them. That's what family is for, or so I've heard. Maybe you would refrain from telling too much to those who are more stressed or emotional.

 

You've only been working there three weeks, so whether you can safely schedule time off is kinda iffy. It really depends on how much they need you. If they think you are disposable you are more likely to get canned. It's a difficult situation you are in right now.

 

If you think that you can safely schedule a day off, say you have a doctor's appointment. If you take too many days off at first they may see you as being unreliable. If you can, try making an appointment on a weekend. I believe there are some therapists available after hours and on weekends. You might have to do some research.

[Maleficent]

Do any of you feel like you really can't talk to anyone about your depression, if you have it?

 

Despite all the overwhelming advice I get from friends, family, therapists, the internet, books, etc., I have extreme difficulty talking to anyone about how I feel.

 

My depression is getting far worse lately. I've been working at a new job now for three weeks, after several months of unemployment. It's not the most fun job ever, but it has amazing benefits and I get paid very well. It's the first real sign of good things to come that I've had in a long time. And because of that, I'm having a hard time trying to go to therapy which I desperately want right now. I can't schedule the time off because I don't have any PTO accrued and since I just started I don't want to give my boss the impression that I'm a potential flake, since I haven't been working there long.

 

Nor do I feel I can be honest with her because -- let's face it -- despite all the research on the subject, it's a difficult topic to discuss and there's also a negative social stigma about it. I'm afraid to give the impression that I'm crazy (not that I think I'm crazy, but others may think it), and therefore unstable to work.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

Are you on medication?

[thishatteredsymphony]

Are you on medication?

 

Yes, for about two months now. That being said, perhaps it hasn't quite kicked in yet. I was told it could take anywhere from 6 to 8 weeks before I feel effects.

[Outsider77]

Which medication? Is it an SSRI or SSNRI?

[Maleficent]

Yes, for about two months now. That being said, perhaps it hasn't quite kicked in yet. I was told it could take anywhere from 6 to 8 weeks before I feel effects.

 

Well, assuming your doctor is not a complete idiot, you probably started with a small dosage and gradually augmented the dosage so really, the first month - month and a half doesn't really count.

Also it can take a while before finding the right medication combination and dosage.

 

If you've been on your meds for two months and still see no effect at all talk to your doctor but it is a little normal you are not 100% back on your feet at this point.

 

Is there any way you can get a sick leave? Working many jobs and being under stess is kind of counterproductive for someone trying to get through depression…

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[Mr Scorpio]

I don't talk about it with friends or family. With my family, I'd rather not have them worrying about my mental state. With friends, I don't engage in meaningful conversations on any topic, much less my mental health and outlook on life.

 

I think that scheduling one appointment with a therapist isn't going to do you much good. Therapy is an on-going treatment and you won't likely receive much feedback from just one session. Thus, asking for just one day off from work isn't likely to help.

 

Have you tried finding a therapist whose schedule fits with yours? My old therapist works until 10pm on some nights.

[thishatteredsymphony]

Which medication? Is it an SSRI or SSNRI?

 

Currently taking an SSRI.

 

Well, assuming your doctor is not a complete idiot, you probably started with a small dosage and gradually augmented the dosage so really, the first month - month and a half doesn't really count.

Also it can take a while before finding the right medication combination and dosage.

 

If you've been on your meds for two months and still see no effect at all talk to your doctor but it is a little normal you are not 100% back on your feet at this point.

 

Is there any way you can get a sick leave? Working many jobs and being under stess is kind of counterproductive for someone trying to get through depression…

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

I talked to my boss about it this past Friday. I didn't give the specific reason, which is a wise decision I believe. I just said I'm due for a physical. She was completely cool with it. We'll see how it goes.

 

I don't talk about it with friends or family. With my family, I'd rather not have them worrying about my mental state. With friends, I don't engage in meaningful conversations on any topic, much less my mental health and outlook on life.

 

I think that scheduling one appointment with a therapist isn't going to do you much good. Therapy is an on-going treatment and you won't likely receive much feedback from just one session. Thus, asking for just one day off from work isn't likely to help.

 

Have you tried finding a therapist whose schedule fits with yours? My old therapist works until 10pm on some nights.

 

Before starting this job I was going to therapy sessions for about 3 months straight, every week. I halted them when work started and honestly by the time I stopped I was feeling marginally okay. But within the last week or two it got bad again.

 

In any case, as mentioned above I got something going this week and my boss was completely okay with me taking the day off. I'll also be looking finding someone who might be able to work a bit better with my schedule.

Edited October 13, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony

[Outsider77]

Currently taking an SSRI.

Just be careful if you ever go off of it. Potential for bad withdrawal, depending on its half life. I always felt that they just remove emotional extremes rather than relieve depression. You are never really sad, but never really happy either.

 

Glad you are going to see a therapist.

[SpiralOut]

It's not easy for me to talk about my depression. Nobody in my family knows, because they are gossipy and I don't feel comfortable telling them. Only one of my friends knows, and that's because she's the only close friend I have. I mostly have aquaintances, not friends, and I don't want to scare them away by sharing my problems with them. At work I tell nobody. Even when I booked off stress leave, nobody knew why. I just said my doctor advised me to take time off. They can't legally ask you what your health issue is.

 

Is it possible to make an adjustment to your schedule at work? Maybe on Monday (or whatever) you leave an hour early for your appointment, then on Tuesday (or whatever day) you work an extra hour to make up for it. I wonder if it might be easier on your boss if you make a permanent change to the schedule that works for both of you, so you don't need to book time off as often.

 

And I second the idea of finding someone who does weekend or evening appointments.

Edited October 14, 2013 by SpiralOut