dedicatedman Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 MY girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months. She is a very faithful person, but I am bothered that she doesn't stick up for our relationship enough when guys hit on her. She never takes them up on it, but she doesn't exactly tell them off either. She got to know all about a stranger even though he kept asking her out while they talked. He was encouraging her to cheat. She thinks that I am trying to change her. I just want her to make people respect our relationship. She thinks that I should either deal with it or find someone else. Her EX still persistently calls, she doesn't answer the phone, but she doesn't go out of her way to tell him to stop either. I need more of an effort on her part to make me feel more secure. Is this my problem or hers? Please help. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
blueman Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 this isnt ur problem at all bro. Lets see ur girls ex calls her up and she ignores it that is a good sign but if it is a constant thing she should take another step to try and bring it to a stop. It is not ridiculous for you to request that she tell him to stop calling at least in my eyes and maybe try and put her in your shoes and explain that if u had ur ex calling u all the time wouldnt she want u to tell her to stop??? Also if guys are hitting on her that is one thing, but if they know that she has a bf and still are talking to her and she is still talking to them that is a bad sign my guess is maybe she likes the attention whether it is just that or maybe she feels u dont give her enough so she is going to look for it elsewhere. This is a tricky area with relationships and my advice is that you simply tell her how you feel and if she cares enough she will show some type of effort to make you feel more secure and if she doesnt make any effort then you have some decisions to make good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author dedicatedman Posted December 5, 2004 Author Share Posted December 5, 2004 Basically it boils down to me thinking she is too nice to guys who are interested in her. I guess that I am just jealous or insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 How do you know she only doesn't answer when you're there? Sorry man, but a guy doesn't 'just call' over and over and over unless someone is reciprocating on the other end. Or unless he's pshycho, and I highly doubt that. You have NORMAL relationship expectations. She doesn't want to accept that becasue it's an inconvenience to her and lessens her options. Tell her to grow up and keep this commitment she's promised to, or hit the road. You deserve a full commitment too, how would she feel if you were doing this to her? If your ex was calling all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dedicatedman Posted December 5, 2004 Author Share Posted December 5, 2004 One thing I forgot to mention - the guy that came up to her was staying at the same resort she was. I was not there. He came up to her 3 seperate times and got to know her. Each time he was asking her out. She told me about how fascinating his job was and what country he was from etc.... ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 Hello, Again I would ask how she would be feeling if the roles were reversed and you just could not stop talking to women who continued to ask you out. It sounds to me that it is very disrespectful behavior and that she is keeping the door open in the future for something better. Link to post Share on other sites
PSmith Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 I was faced with a similar issue earlier this year. My GF of more than a year started doing the same thing. She would get approached by guys who would hit on her. She told me that she would “play along”, but never give out her number. I was also struck with the thought that she enjoyed the attention. Of course this bothered me and I let her know it. I felt that she should make it known that she’s involved with someone and not available. She felt as long as she didn’t give the guy her number what’s the big deal. I tried to impress upon her that it showed a lack of respect for me and the relationship. She still didn’t get it, and continued to do it then tell me about it. Guess what? I ended up breaking up with her. There may be some guys out there who wouldn’t mind her behavior, but I’m not one of them. Sounds like you’re not one of those either. My advice is to let her go. You need to find someone who shares the same views on a committed relationship that you do. When two people have such different views there’s a good chance it’s not going to work. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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