brokenhearted9 Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 Hi all, My boyfriend of 8 months and I broke up 5 days ago after getting back together from breaking up before. we were apart for a week but then I found out he had made out with another girl and we fought again. He said that he had hope that we could start anew but that I would not let things go and I smothered him so much nothing has changed. He started treating me bad so I told him we needed to break up because he was torturing me., He said ok and that because he loves me that is why we are breaking up. He said if it was to ever work out we'd have to have a clean slate and it's too dirty.He has a lot of stressed in his llife and he said he didn't want me to stress him out anymore that I have to get my act together and take care of myself. I apologized and told him I am sorry for all the things I did wrong, how I sabotaged the relationship and did not appreciate him when I had him. He apologized too and said we have to move on. I did such a horrible thing today. I got drunk the night before and called him and then in the morning called and apologized and kept him on the phone so long crying to him and trying to get him to take me back I know he is very turned off. He says he is in limbo right now with us and that I have to get my act together. I love him so much I want it to work out but I think I am just pushing him away. He said on Monday we should IM each other but that we shouldn't talk and we need time apart. Did I blow it? Is there anything I can do to get him back?he loved me once even took me home to france so I could meet his family and I think they like me a lot. I just don't know what to do anymore, I was depressed when I met him because I found out my father was sick as well as my mother and I have been taking care of them financially so it's tough on me and i used him as an escape and was never invested in the relationship. It's not until now that I do not have him that I realized I should have given him his space to nurture it and I needed to take care of things on my end so I could be happy with me. Can I tell him that right now? I have heard that you need to give your ex time away so they can miss you.We IM on the computer a bit and usually are able to get our issues resolved that way . I guess on Monday I will be working and then I will apologize and tell him I'm having a hard time with letting go. He told me he grieves differetly and that it hits him later on but I know he's probably out there dating girls because he's really good looking. I feel as if we have a special connection and that we are meant to be something amazing in each others lives.I want him to want me again but don't know how to do it. He says he wants to become friends but I guess he has to say that. I am such a wreck. Please someone help me win him back please Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 you have only one way to get him back..... NOW LISTEN TO ME VERY CLOSELY......or you will make the same mistakes (myself included) that everyone does even though they have been told not to.... Do not contact him...........................ever ever ever!!! NO CALLS NO EMAIL NO DRIVE BYS NO TALKING ABOUT HIM IN FRONT OF MUTUAL FRIENDS NOTHING.......... ACT indifferent....if you dont know what this means look up the word.... then, take this time apart to make yourself into what you want to be: work out get a mini-make over concentrate on your weaknesses and turn them into strengths make your strenghts even better help out others first cry to only those who cant or 100% will not tell him eat well sleep enough try to excel at work do the things you missed doing when you had him in your life (your hobbies) get a new hobby go and volounteer get more spiritual use this time as a growth period and do what you want if and when it gets back to him that you are doing great, look great, are going out with freinds/and or dating, have new hobbies, are doing new things.......he will want to figure out what the hell has gotten into you and he will be curious as to why you changed so much and why you werent like this when you were with him.....then he will try to contact you somehow..... via friends family im call you directly etc.... now, when this happens, you still have to act 100% indiffrent and be short with him the first couple of contacts...i.e. i am great, thanks for asking, how are you....oh, good i am glad to hear it....i'd love to stay and chat but i have a step class me and _______ (girls or guys name) have a stepping class at 8..... or i have to go to bed, i am working out before work tomorrow so i am getting up early....and then go... throw him the curveball! now, if you do this, i am sure that this will give you the best chance of working....everybaody on here hears about this type of plan but very few have the mentality, demeanor, strengt, and intelligence, oh and the patience to do this...if they did, more people would get their second chances.. PM me if you have any questions good luck now fall of the face of the earth to him! d Link to post Share on other sites
pancakepalace Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Great reply Head/Heels, You are right on target. I am in a similar situation. I tried to follow the exact plan you mentioned, but stumbled this week. I had NC for a month. Then I went up to visit her for a doctor's appointement (ecography) she is pregnant with my child and left me to be with her parents in another city. She was in a very good mood when I saw her, but I later blew it by trying to talk about the baby and the relationship. I really messed up. If I would of kept my mouth shut, she was willing to go shopping for baby stuff with me. Now I am at square -1. I will start the plan over again and do NC longer this time. But, now, I don't think I want her back. I just want to have a talking relationship for the baby. All I can say is KEEP YOUR MOUTH IN YOUR POCKET TIGHTLY ZIPPED. Don't do my mistakes! Good luck, pel Link to post Share on other sites
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