19 year old guy dating 15 year old girl. We love each other but society says "NO!"

[FinsFan]

Ok, Im a 19 year old guy currently dating a 15 year old girl. We have been dating for a little under a year now and we are deeply in love and couldnt be happeir with the way things are going. Before we met we both had our opinions on dating. My opinion was u stick with people ur own age because its just wrong dating younger people. And her opinion was that older guys are just looking to get in her pants and arnt looking for a real relationship. Well we had been friends for years and talked occasionally and one day we started talking over the internet as friends and found we had the same interests and we got along great. One thing led to another and we decided we would give dating a try. its been around 10 months now and I can honestly say they have been the best 10 months of my life. We live in Canada and the age of consent is not a problem it is perfectly legal that isnt my problem. we have not had sex yet and my girlfriend is the one wanting to more then me because i feel that she needs to be 100 percent sure she wants to do it before she does. Her mother at first was not ok with it but began to get to know me and is completely ok with it and i come over regularly and visit her mom and her sisters and even take her sisters to the movies for fun time to relieve her mom of some stress. Before we met each other we had failing relationships and now we have been dating, nothing could be better. my problem is my concience. she doesnt look nor act like she is 15 and has been through things in life that even i havnt. these things she has been thorough i believe has made her as mature as she is. she is more mature then half the girls i know my age. but it still bothers me when i think about the age difference. should it bother me considering the way me and my girlfriend are? and is it wrong if we are so happy and at the same level of maturity... and i am mature as well. Im also having a big problem with my friends talking about this behind my back and making fun of the situation. please give me ideas on how i should look past this and what i should do with my friends.

[Spira]

Why does your age difference bother you so much? If you are happy, then nothing else matters. Don't let such a small thing come between yourselves. It is so rare to find someone that you can be happy with... I wouldn't be much concerned about what other people say, either. People will always talk & always have something bad to say. Don't let it affect how you feel.

[aFighter]

You said sex hasn't happened yet but I dunno...19 v 15...You *could* stay with her sans the sex untill she hits 18, that'd be alright. Something tells me though neither of you will wait that long

It's human nature. *sigh* the bottom line is if she's of legal age where you live then %^&$ the begrudgers.

 

The age of consent here is 18 btw & what you're doing would land you a nice jail term & get you registered on the public sex offenders list. Bet you're glad you don't live in Ireland, eh?

[estakado]

19 and 15? Hmmm....ya'll are better off if it was 24 and 20? Why? well society may not agree because ya'll are still both kids bro.

 

Think about it, you are ready to settle down because you have 4 years of experience over your girl and your girl is into you now because she is 4 years behind you in experience.

 

Has she dated anyone else? Age aint nothing but a number but it does amount for life experience.

 

I dont disagree that you guys love each other, but she's 15-16 dude....she is a baby, there are still things that she needs to experience and the same advice to you too. Dont deny yourselves of opportunites.

 

I hope that you are the couple that beats all of the doubters but the odds are against you.

 

My advice is if ya'll truly wanna make a commitment.....learn to communicate to each other.

[Sukotto]

Just fly the UK, age of consent is 16

[Weird]

i dont see any problem being in a relationship with her although when I was 19 I wouldn't have wanted to be with a 15 year old not because of the age but because of the maturity level. If she is beyond her age in maturity then cool. I will say the odds are that she will not want to be in this one relationship forever but I do know there are cases of people who met at around that age amd got married and all that jazz.

 

As for the sex stuff, I wouldn't do it until she was older. I realize the age of consent is 14 here in Canada (btw I think that is nuts since 14 is too young) but damn, I wouldn't risk something happening that landed me in jail. Lawyers can be tricky so you never know what they could come up with if somehow you and her had sex and things between you guys went sour. I would wait until she is 18 just to totally cover my ass. Sex isn't worth spending a day in jail let alone a year or more.

[SoleMate]

...should the age difference bother me?

Well, the age difference clearly does present problems. I am glad to hear that your families are in contact and have accepted each other and also the relationship. That reduces some possible problems.

 

I know your 15 yo gf acts mature, but only a 19 yo would think that that indicates actual maturity! You are BOTH still very young. Girls typically do grow up emotionally and psychologically at a younger age than boys do, so it's easy to see why you feel at the same level.

 

Do you worry about her vulnerability?

[FinsFan]

i do worry about her vulnerability, i constantly ask her how she feels about me and us, and im always communicating with her about everything and anything. Its the perfect relationship with the one flaw that is age difference.

[Urban Rubble01]

Don't let any moralistic B/S bother you, all you should be worried about is how you two will handle this. Personally, like someone else said, I wouldn't be with a girl that young because of maturity issues, but I also understand that some people mature faster than others. You're 19, she's 15. Despite what society says, you're going to have a hard time convincing me that a 19 year old is vastly more mature than and 15 year old.

 

If I were you, I'd just enjoy the time you have with her for now and not try to look into the future too much. Because, and I know you don't want to hear this, the chances of you finding your soulmate at 19 are SLIM, and the chances of her finding it at 15 is nearly nonexistent. Have fune, but don't look at this like something that's going to stick.

[Dakini]

Fins:

 

Its only four years. Plus age really is a state of mind. (I personally much prefer dating older men, and I did when I was that age too.) I'm still wondering two things:

 

1. Why does the age difference bother you so much? is it merely societal influence, or does it go deeper?

2. How does she feel about it? Does it bother her?

[FinsFan]

answers to ur questions, the age thing bothers me from my peers and family, im constantly being reminded that it is wrong and it wont work out. and she is ok with the age difference, she gets bothered sometimes being told that she is stupid for going out with a 19 year old because all he wants to do is get in ur pants. other then that she is ok with it.

[steve_3327]

My God thank god for this post ive fallen for a 15 year old im not out to get her for sex at all!!! i just see a great person in her, mature. i am 18 she is 15 and ive really fallen for her badly. talked to her for the first time on sunday thinking she was about 17 or so. anyways im from canada realizing the age of consent is 14, i was told my my life long friend from edmonton that dont date her or her parents and the cops will be on your doorstep soon after dating begins. what should i do???

[pioneer]

i was 19 when i got with my ex, she was 15, it lasted 5 1/2 years!

[llvengancell]

Hi my name is mike and im in a similat situation that the aruthor of this topic is in. Im in love with this gurl she is 15 im 19. I live in nc usa. I was wondering what the legal daiting age is. Im not in it for sex. Weve dated for 6 months. Her parents have kept us from seeing and talking to eachother. I have the cops watching me. Can any one here tell me what the legal dating age is or how i can find out besides the my local pd or majistrate. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks:D one more thing can me and her fly to another place like uk or canada and date and be happy? Will i be charged for kidnaping?

[witabix]

Bet you're glad you don't live in Ireland, eh?

 

WTF??????????????????????????????????????

 

You put your location as Europe. I am from Ireland, the legal age of sexual consent here is 16. The same as UK and MANY other countries!!! Don't be such an ignorant p**k, and DON'T EVER BELITTLE THE IRISH.

[ClassLady]

I was 14 and my husband was 18 when we first started dating. We got married and were together 27 years. We have since divorced. There is now a 16 year diff between me and my current husband. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Be your own person.

[LOVE SICK BEX]

[size=6][size=7]hi Im Bex Just Wanna Say Dont Worry About What Other People Think About You And Your Girlfriend.

Im Only 14 And I Out With A 19 Year Old.

We Loved Each Other So Much But Then His Mates Started Calling Him Names Like Prev So Then We Finshed And I Dont Want To See

That Happen To You And Your Girlfriend.

Your No When It Is The Right Time For You To, 2 Have Sex So Good Luck Mate;)

[prettyface2]

well see put it this way my boyfriend is 19 and im 15.okay weve been dating for about 4 mnths now an my stepdad really dislikes him and doesnt want me dating him you know .and my mom loves him to death.because he takes care of me hes got a job and his own place plus were in love and im not going to let ne one break that a part and i know u wouldnt want that to happen to you.so im hoping u can give me advice and youll write me back so for the mean time goodbye and good luck on love~*~ cierra~*~

[nicksbaby06]

im a 15 year old girl dating a 20 year old guy... people tell me the same thing about him but i didnt believe them cause they dont know him and i do... a lot of people think age matters i think if you truely love someone it shouldnt matter at all.... and people who tell me that hes to old for me or we can get into trouble or what not, i ask them if they think im happy... they say yes and then i say then why would you want me away from the one person that truely makes me happy? they never answer me... because if they were in love they know they would do the same thing.... i truthfully used to be against the younger and older relationships thing until i met my boyfriend... so my advice to you is to not worry about it cause you say you care about her and love her or what not then if i were you i would ignore them... if her friends were true friends they wouldnt say anything at all. they would just let her continue on with her life and be happy... i hope everything works out between you two just perfectly... GOOD LUCK!!!

[nicksbaby06]

 

 

im a 15 year old girl dating a 20 year old guy... people tell me the same thing about him but i didnt believe them cause they dont know him and i do... a lot of people think age matters i think if you truely love someone it shouldnt matter at all.... and people who tell me that hes to old for me or we can get into trouble or what not, i ask them if they think im happy... they say yes and then i say then why would you want me away from the one person that truely makes me happy? they never answer me... because if they were in love they know they would do the same thing.... i truthfully used to be against the younger and older relationships thing until i met my boyfriend... so my advice to you is to not worry about it cause you say you care about her and love her or what not then if i were you i would ignore them... if her friends were true friends they wouldnt say anything at all. they would just let her continue on with her life and be happy... i hope everything works out between you two just perfectly... GOOD LUCK!!!

[Guest]

Hey im in exactly the same position and im so glad this subject came up.. im the other way round though im a 15 year old girl liking a 19 year old guy, He currently has a girlfriend but he likes me, we both are in a very akward position and dontknow wot to do about it. There is age concerns distnce concerns and everything to take into consideration,But as many people tell me im a very very mature 15 year old, I have never felt this way about anyone before and have currently struck true love, i like him so much and hes likes me so much to, the only thing getting in the way is his girlfriend, I am very confused about the whole thing and what to do so could someone help me out please,thanks x

[guest]

my opinion is who cares about society?? do you love her?/ and she obvisouly loves you. so put it this way follow your heart. yes right now 15 and 19 might seem like a HUGE diffrence but imagine if yall were 24 and 29. would people look at it as such an age gap?? the only people you should worry about is your parents. they are the only ones who count. don't let anyone judge you. i am 15 and by boyfriend is 19. yes we have had sex and it makes our relationship even more stronger. ( i am not saying it'll do the same for yours) we love each other. our parents do not want us together but we follow our hearts. at least your lucky. you live in canada with no age requirments i live in kentucky where he can go to jail. but he takes the risk because we love each other. good luck

[Guest]

Weve been friends for a year and 2 months, but for a long time we both liked eachother, he made it clear that he has feelings for me but i on the other hand didnt want to get hurt or ruin our friendship because i know that if we ever would to brake up i couldnt go back being freinds with him, it would just feel weird.

 

Anyways..We eventually went out and its been 5 and a half months now.. for a while now i havent been happy with him like I used to be. All we do on the weekends is go and hang out with his guy friends which im usually the only girl, but i go to be with him. After we hang out with them he just comes to my house. It getting really boring!I mean ive never went over his house before and met his parents, but hes met mine.

 

But the biggest problem in our realtionship is when he says that were going to go to the movies or just do something with us too, we never do , not once have just me and him gone out alone hes always brought a friend or weve gone to parties. Parties are fun but it gets boring seeing the same people doing the same thing, and dont forget im only 15 too. Overall the plans that i want do always seem to fall through or something comes up.

 

We also (fight practicaly EVERYDAY) and I get so emotional and i just get sick of it it maske me unhappy, and im one of those people that have trouble expressing their feelings too and he doesn't understand. All i want is just to be happy and too have fun, not to fight evryday, I dont want to break up with him just because of this because i love him too much, thats why we both have to change in order for our relationship to continue.So please can you give me some advice as too how to deal with this issue?

[sexyLMC]

can i just say.. that im only 17 and my ex was 26.. its just the way the world works. who can tell you who and who you cant fall inlove with my ex to me is the best man ever in this world and were just good mates now. age proves nothing. the only thing age is good for is getting lower car insurance... i think you too should just ignor what other people think.. the uk thinks tony blair is good for us but i dont.. lol.. its each to your own sweetheart..

just go with what you thinks right..

its your feelings

if its love then dont look around for help hun. enjoy it while you can..

x lisa x

[Guest]

I'm 15 years old and i have been with a 28 year old. It's illegal in Mo. But as long as you guys arnt having sex and arn't dating for the SEX then you are fine. I've been talking to this guy for about a year now and we have not dated yet because its illegal but when i turn 18 we are going to start dating and getting intament. I don't get why the f***ING law is so gay in Mo. They make some of the stupidest laws. Don't worry about how far apart your guys ages are. It don't matter if you truly love that girl and are willing to f*** her and have a kid then you are perfect for eachother. I have f***ED a couple different 20year olds. Don't do it!!! You are going to get caught some day and its not worth seeing the man or women you love go to jail for 5 to 8 years. Trust me its no worth it.!!!