question

[prsawyer]

i met a guy in college he approached me first and he went out of his way for me to notice him. he flirted with me by smiling and winking with his face always lit up everytime he saw me or he would just stare. i would always smile back at him , now he would ask me personal questions like if i was married, or had a bf and wanted to know what my plans are after college which he asked several times. now the problem is i just found out he is married , which he acted like he wanted to tell me something but could not get the words out and this guy did not take it too far like wanting to sleep with me the only thing he would do is hint lunch or just trying to get to know me more and shown signs of interest in me. i have not talk with him since this has happened and i catch him staring at me and looks very sad like he is hurting. i sent him an email saying that i understand he is married and that i hope we can stay as friends cause we might have a class together and i hope the best for him. i do not know what the situation is at home but i feel like he is unhappy this guy has not been in college very long and lives in a new area which i was told he lived alone when he first moved here. he takes 16-20 at school and works 30 hrs sleeps in the afternoon till that evening and works 12am - 5am. if they are having problems i hope they can work things out and i do not beleive in breaking up a marriage. even though my heart got broken but in time things will get better and i hope things get better for him cause right now he looks like he is hurting. so why would he, now that i have found out that he would stare at me and look very depressed , my friends say he wants to talk and that he likes me is the reason why but they may be wrong. usually a married men and when you found out he is married they usually do not acknowledge you and smile go on about their life totally ignore you. any thoughts on why this guy is feeling sad and depressed since now that i know cause before i found out he always smiled/ winked at me and happy all the time.

[tiki]

The bottom line is that you've got to leave him alone, you found out he's a married man, so he's not free game. You wouldn't want your husband doing this to someone, right?

 

Keep your distance. It's like playing with fire. A married man has no business doing what he's doing. And he doesn't need to be 'just friends' either.

[LucreziaBorgia]

He wants you to be his girlfriend while he contines to stay married. He's giving you the 'hurt puppy' routine in hopes that he can guilt you into sleeping with him. Plain and simple. He has sent you very clear signals that are anything but friendship from the beginning. I seriously doubt after coming on to you like that, that he will be content with being your friend. He'll fill you up with so much BS about how unhappy he is at home, and how his wife doesn't love him or sleep with him, and doesn't understand him, and blah blah blah... until you really fall for it, and end up sleeping with him.

 

I expect he is sad and depressed. He's sad and depressed because you won't be his girlfriend on the side.

 

Why happy Jack before and sad Sam afterward? Before you knew, he had a chance of sleeping with you. After you knew, those chances were greatly diminished.

 

As long as you listen to his crap and be his "friend", he's going to hold on to some inkling that he can still get you - and he will continue to lay it on thicker than store-bought cake frosting.

 

Go out of your way to avoid him if you have to. I expect it won't take him long to move on to the next girl.

[prsawyer]

i guess you are right but some people do feel gulity about what they did was wrong which i do feel this guy does but i am maintain my distant from him. thanks for the advice

[prsawyer]

now the problem is the girl that told me the guy i like is married has lied about things to me and my friends at school so the guy i like never told me he is married so i do not know what to do and i barely know this girl.