sunshine31 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I have posted before about FWB..... Anyway my FWB guy said we should "play it by ear" hes cool with staying at mine etc and said it wouldnt freak him out as long as i'm cool with No Strings Attached (this was my idea btw), but when I wanted to know how we should go and plan this like a few times a month etc the odd sleepover etc, he replied with "just play it by ear" does he mean take things slow, the odd random day out the blue or whenever he feels like it i'm so confused by that it means a different saying to me any advice would be good. Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Just whenever the mood strikes him... so you will be his play toy when he wants to play with you. If he is having sex with you, you could actually just ask him what he means. Just a thought. If youre having sex with me, FWB or not, I can ask questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Play it by ear means lets see what happens, lol! It could be anything from him not being sure of his schedule, to him not being sure how he feels about you, but possibly being interested in seeing you more if he really enjoys your company. Probably the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) It means sex when it is convenient for him or when he wants it. He doesn't need to make plans. PS: I read your last thread. I don't think you're capable of an FWB arrangement. It would be best that you reconsider. Edited October 11, 2013 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 It means he'll have sex with you when he feels like having sex with you. FWBs do not plan sex, sleepovers, etc. weeks in advance. It's not a date. It's no-strings-attached sex. I agree that it seems you are not cut out for this... you sound like the type who will catch feelings, and he's been clear he's not looking for more than sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshine31 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 I was thinking this most of the night but he still keeps in touch with me even if it isnt to do with hooking up thats why I was talking to him about how we should do this as it was confusing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I was thinking this most of the night but he still keeps in touch with me even if it isnt to do with hooking up thats why I was talking to him about how we should do this as it was confusing me. If you are a friend and also one that provides benefits, then yes there is still that level of friendship with the benefit of sex. So, yes, you can still keep intouch but that's all it is. That doesn't mean that you have to make plans to have sex. It happens when it happens. No planning and no expectations. If you want sex you reach out. If he wants sex he reaches out. The fact that it is confusing you is a sign that you are not cut out for this. It shouldn't be confusing. It's just sex. Your last thread is a big indicator this is not for you. I am thinking you like this guy and by giving him sex you think he will like you or want more with you. Sex is sex for most guys. Sex is emotional for most women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshine31 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Well this is my first time with FWB so i'm just finding out what its like i'm defo not getting feelings tho as its too soon for that but I am enjoying the freedom of sex yes we were friends before this I thought he would only text when he wants sex like I said this is my first time doing FWB just finding my way around everything :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Well this is my first time with FWB so i'm just finding out what its like i'm defo not getting feelings tho as its too soon for that but I am enjoying the freedom of sex yes we were friends before this I thought he would only text when he wants sex like I said this is my first time doing FWB just finding my way around everything :laugh: If you say so. Judging from your last thread, I highly doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshine31 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 This is the same guy i'm with no one new lol Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 This is the same guy i'm with no one new lol I know. That's who I am talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 This is the same guy i'm with no one new lol Yes, we know. And your past threads about this guy suggest that you are beginning to like him as more than a friend, when he has been super clear he is only interested in sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Just be careful. I had a similar situation, except it was undefined. I had feelings for him before we ever had sex. He had some as well. We began having sex. Something in him got bugged out. He backed off. Has been distant ever since! Basically, if you already have feelings for someone before sex, OR find them developing during sex and the other person does NOT have the same feelings, you will be hurt. So I would say you should play it by ear for YOU. DO NOT let him call the shots because if you have feelings it will be tempting for you to do this because you just want whatever he will offer. You have to be quite strong here about what is REALISTICALLY best for you. This is why sex confuse. If feelings are already there, then the pleasure of sex will make it harder to break away. Link to post Share on other sites
ConstantVoyager Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 FWB situations work best when neither person cares beyond the physical hook up. You shouldn't be trying to plan to see him ahead of time or even thinking about it. I had a very nice FBW situation that lasted on and off for four years. We'd get together a couple of times a month when we were both single and then go dark when one of us was dating. (I always respected the fact that he never tried to get together when he was with someone else. Neither did I.) If you're thinking this much about it, this isn't a good FWB situation. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 You're acting too much like a girlfriend. I know you say over and over that you're "OK being his FWB" but I honestly don't think you are. I think deep down you're expecting it to become something more. People who are perfectly fine being nothing more than sex, don't make threads questioning the guy's behavior as to how often he does/doesn't text. They also don't look for hidden meanings behind his words. FWB is sex. That's it. Sure he may be a friend, there is some level of emotional connection between you two, but that's all it's going to be. It's not going to slowly evolve into something more. FWB's don't plan to have sex. That would be a relationship. FWB sex is often last minute, or later at night, ie: Booty Call. There are no set times, like "twice a month, or once a week." It just happens when it happen. There could be days between sex, weeks, or even months. I think you're starting to fill a "girlfriend" type roll and that's why he's pushing you back and saying that he'll "play it by ear" and that HE'LL contact you. You shouldn't be so overly invested in making plans, when you're having sex, how much you two talk. This is all SERIOUS relationship behavior, and this will never be that. Just go about your life. Go date other people. If he contacts you, great. Go have sex with him. But when it's over, go dark on him again. Don't get invested, don't act like a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
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