WishfulThinking74 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I think my worse moment as an OW was when my MM was talking to his BS in front of me, on the phone, trying to speak in code. On that same trip he tried to sneak off to the hotel gift shop and I happened to walk in and he was buying her a shirt. I wanted to cry. Another time he asked me to pay for dinner because he'd run out of cash and didn't want to use his credit card because she would check his statements. So degrading. Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I think my worse moment as an OW was when my MM was talking to his BS in front of me, on the phone, trying to speak in code. On that same trip he tried to sneak off to the hotel gift shop and I happened to walk in and he was buying her a shirt. I wanted to cry. Another time he asked me to pay for dinner because he'd run out of cash and didn't want to use his credit card because she would check his statements. So degrading. I can relate to that phone thing. I don't know why MM do that, its disrespecttful and cruel both to BS and OW. Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 The only ones I can really think of is the few times that he's made plans to see me on a weekend by telling her he was going to do something specific that she's not interested in and she decided to suddenly go with him. (He does always go do the thing he tells her he's going to do. He just doesn't spend as much time as normal since he comes to see me, too.) So he, of course, had to cancel seeing me at the last minute. That's only happened a couple of times, though. Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Interesting. Not to t/j, but why do you think she suddenly agreed to go on these activities? Do you think she senses something is wrong? I have no idea, honestly. That's what I thought originally b/c he said she has only ever gone with him for that activity once in the 10+ years of marriage. It was the same thing both times. It's not something that she partakes in, either so she'd either be sitting watching him or sitting in the car while he went in to do the activity. (It's nothing nefarious, but I don't really want to put details out there. LOL It's a hobby of his that she's not involved in.) If she did suspect, he probably made it worse b/c both times he decided not to go after all once she decided to go along. (This was the beginning of this year, IIRC. She hasn't done it again since the last time and he's been doing that hobby A LOT more lately.) Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 The only ones I can really think of is the few times that he's made plans to see me on a weekend by telling her he was going to do something specific that she's not interested in and she decided to suddenly go with him. (He does always go do the thing he tells her he's going to do. He just doesn't spend as much time as normal since he comes to see me, too.) So he, of course, had to cancel seeing me at the last minute. That's only happened a couple of times, though. A COUPLE of times? Why wasn't ONE degrading incident enough for you to say to yourself "NO MORE"?!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SarahJames Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I agree. Although it didn't happen often, I did not want to be in the same area as him when he spoke to the BS. But here's something I won't miss: I won't miss meeting him at hotels, spending the afternoon with him, knowing he's going back home to sleep next to the BS, then drinking until I cried when he did leave, and then having him return in the morning to do it all over again until check-out. Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 A COUPLE of times? Why wasn't ONE degrading incident enough for you to say to yourself "NO MORE"?!!! I'm not here to debate my life and choices today. Sorry Just here to talk and give advice. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 One time I planned a trip to a city where exMM knew people. I guess he convinced his W he was going to see them, although he stayed in my hotel (for which I paid). One of the nights he went out for several hours with these friends while I sat alone in the hotel room. Talk about a low point. Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 The first time i hooked up with her. As Dickens says, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) "Degrading" really is the word and I'm so sorry for you. I've been there... Worst moments: Taking a call from me and treating me like I was an old pal, saying something that would translate as "cheers mate" before hanging up - she was with him, obviously. I think this was the situation where I felt humiliated the most. Being with him as if it was a normal, happy relationship and being reminded that it's not the moment he sneaks off "to have a smoke" and you know he's going to call her; Chatting on fb and all of a sudden "gotta go" and vanishes; Seeing pictures of them (posted by other people) on facebook; Checking his mobile and realising she's under the name "Queen" ("...oh, it's been there for a long time...") Rejoicing with a call, an e-mail, an sms from him as a beggar would rejoice with a penny; Wondering about his sex life with BS; Trying to imagine their phone conversations and, at the same time, putting on the phones with loud music so that I don't hear him talking next room, afraid of hearing him saying "I love yous" and things like that. Edited October 11, 2013 by C00kie Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 One time I planned a trip to a city where exMM knew people. I guess he convinced his W he was going to see them, although he stayed in my hotel (for which I paid). One of the nights he went out for several hours with these friends while I sat alone in the hotel room. Talk about a low point. This is so sad. Make me wanna cry. Cheesy as it may sound, it's true. No one should EVER have to go through this. He was really insensitive that night, Goodbye. He shouldn't have taken you, or, if he did, shouldn't have left you to be with his friends. I think they really don't understand how these type of actions affect us. I mean, they'd have to get through it to understand. But you'd think anyone with sense and sensibility should figure that out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 "Degrading" really is the word and I'm so sorry for you. I've been there... Worst moments: Taking a call from me and treating me like I was an old pal, saying something that would translate as "cheers mate" before hanging up - she was with him, obviously. I think this was the situation where I felt humiliated the most. Being with him as if it was a normal, happy relationship and being reminded that it's not the moment he sneaks off "to have a smoke" and you know he's going to call her; Chatting on fb and all of a sudden "gotta go" and vanishes; Seeing pictures of them (posted by other people) on facebook; Checking his mobile and realising she's under the name "Queen" ("...oh, it's been there for a long time...") Rejoicing with a call, an e-mail, an sms from him as a beggar would rejoice with a penny; Wondering about his sex life with BS; Trying to imagine their phone conversations and, at the same time, putting on the phones with loud music so that I don't hear him talking next room, afraid of hearing him saying "I love yous" and things like that. Man, I could go on. Wondering what's really happening. What things are really like. Falling asleep waiting for a phone call and not being able to call him back. Wondering if he's had an accident, if he's sick, and not being able to call. I mean, I could call but I prefer silence than having him reject my call or talking to me as if I was an old aunt. It's so painful. Sh*t, really Falling asleep crying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 The day that he said via FB messenger "Hello, how are you?" That is when it all began. Link to post Share on other sites
ConcreteHeart Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 After spending his birthday going down on him, not hearing from him for a week. I was either that good or that bad...I haven't figured it out yet... Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 The day that he said via FB messenger "Hello, how are you?" That is when it all began. I don't get it. You mean the very start of things? Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 After spending his birthday going down on him, not hearing from him for a week. Wow....just wow! You must be pretty tough to be able to laugh about that one! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I can relate to that phone thing. I don't know why MM do that, its disrespecttful and cruel both to BS and OW. It is, but why do you (general you) continue to stay and put up with it? Knowing full well he's married and lives life with his wife - Make the choice to either just enjoy your affair and time together, or end it. I don't mean this meanly, but putting yourself on the same field level with his wife, difference is, she has no idea he is cheating on her, yet you know he's married, so you know what you're up against. Link to post Share on other sites
ConcreteHeart Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yellow..you gotta laugh to keep from crying... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 After spending his birthday going down on him, not hearing from him for a week. I was either that good or that bad...I haven't figured it out yet... Is he still alive?? Seriously, that's not cool at all. Don't give him anymore head! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yellow..you gotta laugh to keep from crying... So true. I find that margaritas help!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConcreteHeart Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Or a very expensive bottle of red:love: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I don't get it. You mean the very start of things? Goodbye, yes, I'm sorry, I was being facetious. I actually had no idea at that time I would end up being the ow but that's what happened. Now I'm here so yeah looking back, that was the worst moment in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 My MM cancelled plans on me once and I was angry, so pissed off I left town with just a ambiguous text message, he spent that night locked on his phone trying to reach me, that was a low point cause I'm usually not a spiteful person. Another low point would be, when I was his assistant hearing him say "my wife...." In reference to something he was talking about. Yuuukkk, I felt ridiculous. Another low point would be hearing from coworkers the reasons why I would never go for him, pretty much all were vain and shallow reasons, but all the while he and I were dating already. An awkward point would be he gave me a performance evaluation at work, as he was my superior, I was enraged by not get 100%, I was stupid and figured I deserved it. In talks with others who he also had to give similar P.E. To and my score was almost double theirs and immediately the others were dumbfounded how I could have possibly done so well, as my P.E. Score was not even close to the typical range, I then realized that he amped my p.E. Beyond whT it should have been. Lastly, lol, that I can think of right now would be the incident with my x and mm. Also the night of the miscarriage was a rough and messy night Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyanderson Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I would have to say both times they "broke up" and were back together within days. He had a wide open chance to really end things and be with me but went running back. Also just not hearing from him for days. It just felt like he had forgotten about me and like I didn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
n1BB1t Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I guess for mine there's a lot cause he don't seems to respect me and hide it. - Always call and text her in front of me - Never failed to update me the reason of where she go when he had time to sneak out - Always sleep through our meetup - Running errands for her during our meetup cause this is one of the reason he could sneak out - Searching for gift for her when we are together - Drop our meetup last min when she came over to meet him near our workplace - Doesn't want to take day off on his birthday just because she is meeting him at night near our workplace. He even get fed up of me when I confront him this. (On top of that he blog his happy birthday picture in his blog which make me totally upset) - A common one is I had to pay for my own gift cause his credit card spending was being track though he would pay me cash back. (This already defeat the purpose of giving other present) Yup everything is bad, even though I compromise so much he still get fed up of me when I mention all of his behaviour above. Link to post Share on other sites
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