Broke NC Today Now What?

[SheWillComeBack]

I feel like I am never going to find a girl that cute. Also when she was breaking up with me she said I do not turn her on sexually. It was so hurtful and I am shook inside and psychologically. We both used to love each other so much and knowing I could not turn on the person I love is messing up with my head so bad guys. I just cannot have these thoughts out of my head. I feel like I am impotent or something.

[Chi townD]

You're right, that was a mean thing to say. But, it spoke volumes to me. This girl is very immature.

 

One day, she's going to realize that sex isn't everything. Is it important, sure! But, it's not everything. That's only a small part of the relationship. She can't look at the big picture. She, can be sexually attracted to anyone and she can have great sex, but if that's the only thing that they have in common, then she would be bitching that he never takes her anywhere, never complements her, not being there emotionally for her....blah...blah... you can't win.

 

Look, there are 7 billion people in the world that are full of cute girls that all have different wants and desires. Basically all girls want different things. Maybe the girl that you're truly meant to be with is still out there dreaming about you. She's out there waiting for you to find her.

[SheWillComeBack]

The thing I do not know is whether that thing is right or wrong? Coz in starting it was so good that I could tell she is attracted towards me and she could not just keep her hands off me. But when I began to be nice like doing almost everything as she wanted then I think I came out as obsessive and needy which turned her off. And while breaking up with me she said maybe I think I am in love with her but I am actually obsessing over her. I just cannot understand anything here. She never talked to me about anything that she didnt like, she just held everything against me and blew it on me in the end.

[Emma1234]

It sucks that it feels like an obsession but it's just something you have to get through. You can't go around this no matter how painful.

 

Wow if I could look back and watch myself over the first few months I think i'd be shocked. I just couldn't control my feelings, i didn't go 5 minutes without this agony just slashing at me again and again and again, I just wanted to drown in sleep and yet sleep would not come!! And when I got those few hours of unconsciousness they were still filled with him but the good times which made it even more painful to wake up.

 

I do not know how I got through it, i really don't. When I read things that i wrote down or the songs (i play guitar) that I wrote I just want to hug my old self and say everything will be ok, i promise. I feel so much pity for 'her' but I feel proud of myself for fighting my way through it and getting to this stage.

 

i'm still not over him but it's a completely different feeling now. I can't put it into words, but i know exactly how you feel and gawd do i feel bad for you. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Even when it doesn't feel like it, i swear to you that you will. You just have to keep following the advice of keeping busy and working on yourself. it sounds so trivial compared to the emotions you are feeling but it works over time.

 

The fact that i feel like this now compared to how i felt during the beginning few months proves to me that i will get past this stage too.

 

You'll be fine. One day you'll look back at this and there may be the slight twinge but it'll pass and then you'll turn back to the girl who you WILL meet someday and you'll be this fixed, whole, healed, gorgeous guy who can give his love to a girl who deserves it.

[SheWillComeBack]

Trust me I know it will pass as this is happening to me third time. My previous ex was even worst she told me if I am going to call her she will call police on me and yet she was the one who called me after like 6 months crying saying she is sorry and I spoiled her and she could not find anyone who loved her the way I did. She also said that I spoiled her in a way that she could not love anyone else but me and the next guy she totally played on. she said she just didn't know any better that time and she made mistake and asked me to take her back. But irony was I was over her by then and I told her that "Girl you blew your chance". She also had left me for some guy.

 

I however don't want that happen with this girl. I really want this girl back. I remember in previous breakup time I used to pray for this feeling to pass but now I pray for her to come back. There is a difference in feeling for both time.

 

I think I am one of those emotional guys who love their girl and want to see her happy no matter what but then they decide to walk all over them and say you are not the kind of guy they want. Even though they used to say to you "You know what babe I think you are the one". Funny how they don't see anything when they breakup. And **** how can they stay without talking for so long? Like just cut the person out of life? I can never do that to anybody.

[Chi townD]

And while breaking up with me she said maybe I think I am in love with her but I am actually obsessing over her. I just cannot understand anything here.

 

 

LOL! She actually said that?!?! Sorry, I would have been like, "Look bitch, you need to get over yourself. You're cute and all, but you ain't all that!"

 

 

After reading your posts, I think I see where most of your problems are. You tend to put the girls you like on a pedestal. That's the last place you should put a girl. The girl that you're serious about should never be placed on that pedestal, because now they're looking down on you and you gave them that power. A girl should be by your side, a partner in life and an equal. So the both of you can walk down the road of a relationship together hand in hand and side by side.

 

You got to start learning to do that.

[SheWillComeBack]

why this pain is sharp at night guys? today I felt fine almost whole day and now I am feeling anxious. Can stay at one place.

[Fufu]

I feel like I am never going to find a girl that cute. Also when she was breaking up with me she said I do not turn her on sexually. It was so hurtful and I am shook inside and psychologically. We both used to love each other so much and knowing I could not turn on the person I love is messing up with my head so bad guys. I just cannot have these thoughts out of my head. I feel like I am impotent or something.

 

 

You will find another girl and you will fall in love with her (Believe me, this will come)

 

I believe anyone of us in this sub-forum used to have a great relationship with our exes but unfortunately it didn't work out.

 

Your not impotent, you are just emotionally drained. So it's time to recharge your emotional battery and get your life moving on

[SheWillComeBack]

You will find another girl and you will fall in love with her (Believe me, this will come)

 

I believe anyone of us in this sub-forum used to have a great relationship with our exes but unfortunately it didn't work out.

 

Your not impotent, you are just emotionally drained. So it's time to recharge your emotional battery and get your life moving on

 

It seems like you are on this forum for long time Fufu. I was wondering are you still not over him or you are just here to help people?

[BrightHope]

It sucks that it feels like an obsession but it's just something you have to get through. You can't go around this no matter how painful.

 

Wow if I could look back and watch myself over the first few months I think i'd be shocked. I just couldn't control my feelings, i didn't go 5 minutes without this agony just slashing at me again and again and again, I just wanted to drown in sleep and yet sleep would not come!! And when I got those few hours of unconsciousness they were still filled with him but the good times which made it even more painful to wake up.

 

I do not know how I got through it, i really don't. When I read things that i wrote down or the songs (i play guitar) that I wrote I just want to hug my old self and say everything will be ok, i promise. I feel so much pity for 'her' but I feel proud of myself for fighting my way through it and getting to this stage.

 

i'm still not over him but it's a completely different feeling now. I can't put it into words, but i know exactly how you feel and gawd do i feel bad for you. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Even when it doesn't feel like it, i swear to you that you will. You just have to keep following the advice of keeping busy and working on yourself. it sounds so trivial compared to the emotions you are feeling but it works over time.

 

The fact that i feel like this now compared to how i felt during the beginning few months proves to me that i will get past this stage too.

 

You'll be fine. One day you'll look back at this and there may be the slight twinge but it'll pass and then you'll turn back to the girl who you WILL meet someday and you'll be this fixed, whole, healed, gorgeous guy who can give his love to a girl who deserves it.

 

Emma1234 - great description of the feelings I'm going through....and many others to! Thanks for a reminder that it will get better.

[Fufu]

It seems like you are on this forum for long time Fufu. I was wondering are you still not over him or you are just here to help people?

 

I have long gotten over my ex (fully recovered) and I'm in a new relationship now

Just here to give some support

[SheWillComeBack]

oh good for you

 

So she contacted me on Tuesday Night around 2:35am on skype since I was offline I could not get her message and she was offline whole day yesterday so I could not get her message again. Today I got up around 8:30 and she was online and I got her message. I replied and then after sometime she went offline. What does all that mean? She is trying to initiate contact or something else?

[Simon Phoenix]

oh good for you

 

So she contacted me on Tuesday Night around 2:35am on skype since I was offline I could not get her message and she was offline whole day yesterday so I could not get her message again. Today I got up around 8:30 and she was online and I got her message. I replied and then after sometime she went offline. What does all that mean? She is trying to initiate contact or something else?

 

Throwing out breadcrumbs to see if you are still on the hook. Since you responded, she knows you are. If it was important, she'd do more than contact you on Skype. Stop responding to crap like that.

[SheWillComeBack]

The thing is she can only contact me on skype. Coz she went to US for her this term and I am in Canada and it cost money to call. But yeah she could use gtalk to call me. Also I still see myself blocked on FB. Maybe she want to talk about stuff before deciding anything.

 

Do you guys think it can go somewhere? I really want this girl back, as I know it can work out between her and me. There are things that I have done wrong as well which gives her right to be mad at me. I never cheated on her just an FYI.

[Simon Phoenix]

The thing is she can only contact me on skype. Coz she went to US for her this term and I am in Canada and it cost money to call. But yeah she could use gtalk to call me. Also I still see myself blocked on FB. Maybe she want to talk about stuff before deciding anything.

 

Do you guys think it can go somewhere? I really want this girl back, as I know it can work out between her and me. There are things that I have done wrong as well which gives her right to be mad at me. I never cheated on her just an FYI.

 

No, it can't go anywhere right now because you are still emotionally broken and clingy, which isn't the least bit attractive. Since she's in another country anyway (therefore you can't see her) why don't you take advantage of your time. Don't talk to her at all, work out, pick up a new hobby, hang out with new friends, live your life. Then maybe when she comes back you won't be this weak, unattractive, emoting mess that you are now and you might have a slim chance.

 

But yeah, sitting around and trying to deduce the meaning of a Skype message that she likely put zero thought in to is a complete waste of your time. It's time for you to live life and get her off that pedestal you have her on. As long as you have her on a pedestal, you are guaranteed not to be able to get her back.

 

She's in one country, you're in another. You can't see each other anyway. So live damn it!

[SheWillComeBack]

Alright I was thinking about giving her a call on her phone today in evening but I think I should hold on to that thought now.

[forgetmenot75]

PLEASE do yourself a favor and block her for once!!

 

She was blatantly clear: YOU DON'T TURN HER ON. What else do you need to hear? Where's your self esteem right now? there is no come back from that, I'm sorry to tell you. If there is no sexual attraction, there's nothing more to talk about.

 

MOVE ON. SHE WON'T COME BACK, and she's playing games with you. If she really wanted to talk to you, she wouldn't be online/offline playing like a cat and a mouse. Gezz

[Simon Phoenix]

Alright I was thinking about giving her a call on her phone today in evening but I think I should hold on to that thought now.

 

Please don't do that. She's gone. Even if she wanted to see you, you couldn't see her right now. Time for you to rediscover your balls, for lack of a better term.

[Zahara]

Did she really say she isn't turned on by you anymore?

 

If yes, take it from a woman, it's dead.

[SheWillComeBack]

PLEASE do yourself a favor and block her for once!!

 

She was blatantly clear: YOU DON'T TURN HER ON. What else do you need to hear? Where's your self esteem right now? there is no come back from that, I'm sorry to tell you. If there is no sexual attraction, there's nothing more to talk about.

 

MOVE ON. SHE WON'T COME BACK, and she's playing games with you. If she really wanted to talk to you, she wouldn't be online/offline playing like a cat and a mouse. Gezz

 

Trust me I know there was sexual attraction, and I also know what made it go away. I can send you the whole situation if tell me your email or something because there is a lot more to it, I am guessing you are a girl you can tell better.

[SheWillComeBack]

Did she really say she isn't turned on by you anymore?

 

If yes, take it from a woman, it's dead.

 

Yes she did say that when she was breaking up with me. If what you said is right then why she is contacting me now? Trust me I know how sexual attraction works. If you do not feel it for someone you do not feel it from starting. There are so many girls I would not want to do sex with but that means I will never do that even once, coz they were not sexually attractive to me to begin with. There is nothing like you find someone attractive in starting and then you don't. The only reason you would feel that way is when your lots of emotions are in play.

[Simon Phoenix]

Yes she did say that when she was breaking up with me. If what you said is right then why she is contacting me now? Trust me I know how sexual attraction works. If you do not feel it for someone you do not feel it from starting. There are so many girls I would not want to do sex with but that means I will never do that even once, coz they were not sexually attractive to me to begin with. There is nothing like you find someone attractive in starting and then you don't. The only reason you would feel that way is when your lots of emotions are in play.

 

What you don't understand is that for most women, sex is interwined with emotions. They get turned on by how a guy (or girl if they swing that way) makes them feel as much as how a guy looks physically. Most men get turned on by the physical more than the "feel" of the situation. Because of this, women can go from being completely attracted to someone sexually to being repulsed or indifferent to the same person. So she didn't just say that to ice burn you -- she meant it. And the fact that she said anything like that is pretty damning -- most women would go out of their way not to say something like that.

 

I mean, come on dude. As for why she's contacting you, it's probably to relieve guilt. It certainly isn't to get you back, or she'd be a hell of a lot more persistent. She wouldn't be leaving you messages on Skype when she knows you aren't on.

[Zahara]

Yes she did say that when she was breaking up with me. If what you said is right then why she is contacting me now? Trust me I know how sexual attraction works. If you do not feel it for someone you do not feel it from starting. There are so many girls I would not want to do sex with but that means I will never do that even once, coz they were not sexually attractive to me to begin with. There is nothing like you find someone attractive in starting and then you don't. The only reason you would feel that way is when your lots of emotions are in play.

 

She's contacting you because with dumpers, they still want to have that control over you to benefit a need that they may have. An ego boost. Boredom. A crutch. Guilt. And she's not even legitimately contacting with anything of substance. You're still blocked on FB. She gets on when you're offline.

 

You know how sexual attraction works? I dated a guy that I worked with and only after a year, and a slow progression of getting to know who he was ultimately sparked a physical attraction and emotional connection. Yes, you can find someone attractive at the start and at some point lose the attraction for them and the relationship. Most relationships end because their partner or the relationship isn't enticing to them anymore. Just as feelings can change and die, so can sexual attraction.

[SheWillComeBack]

What you don't understand is that for most women, sex is interwined with emotions. They get turned on by how a guy (or girl if they swing that way) makes them feel as much as how a guy looks physically. Most men get turned on by the physical more than the "feel" of the situation. Because of this, women can go from being completely attracted to someone sexually to being repulsed or indifferent to the same person. So she didn't just say that to ice burn you -- she meant it. And the fact that she said anything like that is pretty damning -- most women would go out of their way not to say something like that.

 

I mean, come on dude. As for why she's contacting you, it's probably to relieve guilt. It certainly isn't to get you back, or she'd be a hell of a lot more persistent. She wouldn't be leaving you messages on Skype when she knows you aren't on.

 

So you mean to say she is not thinking about me at all? Like she don't miss whatever we had at all? Like she will never give a ****? I know her past she dated guys at 20 years age difference. I am pretty sure, I mean pretty sure that no one would ever have showed her that much love and affection in her life. How cannot she see that? Like how cannot she miss how nice I was to her?

[forgetmenot75]

No need to send me anything. Why would you want to convince me? There is something wrong with you, dude. Seriously.

She told you she is not turned on and now you are saying that wasn't true?

She broke with you! Regain your self esteem and stop bargaining love. She is playing and you'll feel devastated if you continue with this. What you dont get s that you are investing more than her in this. She is not posting on loveshack for advice for sure!