Why do men want to be married?

[xxoo]

I have been married for 21 years. We lived together for 6 years before that. 16 years ago we had our first child, 14 years ago our second and 10 years ago our third. I can categorically state that the thing that increased the treadmill like quality of our lives (above and beyond the grind of daily work and chores that fall to everyone married/cohabiting/single) was the birth of our children. Because children, their needs and wants, are relentless.

 

I love my kids more than anything else and they have enriched my life in way that I can't explain, but there is no doubt they have also made my life harder and repetitive and limited in other ways.

 

I think what you are talking about isn't marriage per se, it's parenthood. And I am guessing that single-parenthood is going to be harder with regard to the exhausting treadmill routine than parenting as a couple. So unless you advocate no-one every having any kids I honestly don't see how you can change things. Of course as a man you could simply impregnate women and then eff off.... which might be easier on you but not exactly a responsible course of action.

 

I agree, Waterwoman. Especially with the point that parenting together, as a couple, makes things so much easier.

 

Unlike the studies referenced above, our marriage is truly equal in effort. We each do as much as we can to make the other's life easier. That's a good reason to want to be married.

[Shepp]

I strongly oppose the institution of marriage for men and even women because of the unrealistic beliefs and ideals it perpetuates, it's still a major part of society and the reality is that most men in the end will concede.

 

Concede??

 

2014 - this is the year that I will buy a ring and propose to my girlfriend! To call her my wife will make me the happiest man on the planet!

 

If I was better with words and I could make the world understand even 20% of what that girl means to me, then no one would ever question my decision to marry her!!

 

 

Some people don't believe in Christmas - it doesn't mean that they should be opposed to everyone else deckin' the halls! How's marriage any different?

[anne1707]

Jeez .

 

Your point being???

[Ninjainpajamas]

Concede??

 

2014 - this is the year that I will buy a ring and propose to my girlfriend! To call her my wife will make me the happiest man on the planet!

 

If I was better with words and I could make the world understand even 20% of what that girl means to me, then no one would ever question my decision to marry her!!

 

 

Some people don't believe in Christmas - it doesn't mean that they should be opposed to everyone else deckin' the halls! How's marriage any different?

 

You know...I should probably checking posting history more often from users, it helps fill in the blanks a lot without even wasting my time arguing with them in the first place. I typically choose not to look because I don't want to judge them or throw things back in their face that they said in a weak moment or while going through things and want to discuss things on a clean slate so-to-speak in the current context of conversation, but I think this is pretty relevant with you and I'm glad I decided to take a look, It felt like something was a bit off.

 

Is this the girl you're marrying Shepp?

 

My friends pregnant and asked me to play dad!!??

 

I dont know what else to say to her anymore! I want more than friends!

 

 

• We’ve been friends for 4 years, since we were 15.
  
• She’s completely stunning, smart, hilarious. Flip side she’s also a bit self destructive & a massive flirt.
  
• We're close. She hasn’t really got anyone else, her mum died when she was 13, her dads a waste of space. She acts so tough to everyone but me
  
• She jumps from guy to guy, most are just a one night thing, she never really gives a sh*t about them
  

So you're a 19 year old kid and so is she? amongst other disturbing things mentioned here....oh boy

 

So firstly my gf is now 5 1/2 months pregnant with twin boys...fraternal!

So I guess firstly any tips for people expecting twins??

 

But its actually, unusually, the surname where we're not clear. If you've read any of my other threads you'll know im not married, and im not the dad, if you haven't then you do now , but note that she has no idea who the biological father is he's completely off the scene and that we've not been dating that long but I have been in her life a very long time - she's just had her demons up till now!

And grown adults who know better are liking your post like you're this beacon of hope and salvation of how a "real man" expresses himself...or something like that (granted they probably didn't look/know, and I didn't read much into your posts other than the basic gist of it myself)

 

*shakes head* I'm going to leave this alone further than that Shepp, I hope you have someone in your life who steps forward and can help give you some guidance and wisdom, that's all I'm going to say.

Edited December 22, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas

[Shepp]

Is this the girl you're marrying Shepp?

That's the girl i'll marry yeah, and that's my beautiful twin boys!

 

So you're a 19 year old kid and so is she? amongst other disturbing things mentioned here....oh boy

20

 

And grown adults who know better are liking your post like you're this beacon of hope and salvation of how a "real man" expresses himself...or something like that (granted they probably didn't look/know, and I didn't read much into your posts other than the basic gist of it myself)

*shakes head* I'm going to leave this alone further than that Shepp, I hope you have someone in your life who steps forward and can help give you some guidance and wisdom, that's all I'm going to say.

To be honest mate if your trying to make a point then I don't get it?

 

Those are posts I made before, that's my girlfriends, that's my sons, I love them very much.

I would never hide any of my past or our past together, it's not something I see any need to hide. I never claim that we were any kind of 'once upon a time' story, did we date all through high school & for 5 years after, then marry, wait 3 years and have 2.5 kids and buy a Labrador - no.

Does that matter?

I never gave up on her or us when I think a lot of guys would of, and I will never take for granted how bigger deal it was to her to put her faith in me enough to give us a go.

 

I think if you can love someone in the hard times, then that's when you've got something good.

 

I dunno, I think I miss the point your making, theres nothing I've ever said here that I don't stand by!

[Eivuwan]

Love isn't ponies and rainbows, but it also isn't an equation.

[man_in_the_box]

It's not obvious to avoid marriage, I'm no fool, I know how women really think about this whole post and situation here (and I won't elaborate either) but the real reason I am so adamant about posting here and on LS in general is that I think the truth and reality needs to be felt...

 

How many ignorant young men have seen the light thanks to your contributions?

[Janesays]

Ninja, do you actually LIKE anything at all about women? Do you see ANY value to our gendar outside of sexual gratification? Although I have never in my life acted the way you describe "most" women (nor do most of the women in my personal life act that way), I still feel embarrassed and ashamed when I read your posts. I feel like my very presence on this earth is apparently a bane to men like you and I'm really confused as to where all this hatred and disdain is coming from. Do you really believe that every ill in the world is a woman's fault? Can you describe anything whatsoever that you like about us or recognize any value we provide to the world at all?

[Shepp]

When a woman sees another woman what is the first thing she does? she sizes up that women...she compares, she critiques, you see all the flaws and the way they look dress, age and the whole nine yards...men don't give a damn....But who gets the blame for all of women's self-esteem issues? men do.

This is true

 

Men aren't built for monogamy in my opinion.

This is such tripe!! Honestly, why do you end up with girls being like "all guys cheat blah blah blah" - because you get guys who for some inconceivable reason are unable to keep it in their pants going round telling them so! Telling them ALL guys cant be faithful - trying to blame science for their own failings!

 

I don't even think it is a failing, if you cant stick with girl, then don't but at least own your CHOICE because that is exactly what it is!

 

Yes, we can force ourselves into that role, we can take responsibility, resist temptation like a religious person pushes away the might of the devil

"We" - how you speak for all men is beyond me! Met every man in the planet have you?

I would never say ALL men should marry anymore than I would say ALL men are capable of being heart surgeons because - its just not true!

But you say ALL men feel xyz - Its very naïve and a little arrogant!

 

They used to say the world was flat, planes would never fly, that the titanic would never sink - you'd think by now people would of learned to open their eyes all of 1cm to learn that theres a big world outside of their head and they might just not have all the answers and be able to speak for everyone in the world who is apparently too dumb to possibly know their own mind....sadly not.

 

It makes me laugh this "some can resist" - I think its BS on so many levels. A) for sounding like its a hard thing to do and B) for acting like the people who do "resist" are any kind of hero.

There's no resisting to it - I have no desire on any level to stray anywhere. Its not a matter of the right opportunity, right girl or right set of circumstances - I just have no desire to be with anyone but my girlfriend.

Its like saying to everyone who hates marmite that there doing well at forcing themselves to resist putting it on there toast......like why on earth would they want to?? Exactly how I feel about other girls - you don't trade your gold medal for a silver, right?

 

it was just the way we were made without any choice involved, I had no decision making into how I was made

I agree you were made the way you were without any choice as was I. I don't agree we were made as carbon copies all to behave in the same way as your generalisation of the word 'men' seems to suggest.

some of us are more sexual

Some people have a high sex drive, true. Some of those people will be compelled to spread their oats or whatever and others will put all their sexual energy into their relationship

less committed

Undoubtedly true

adventurous than man who sits in chair starring at TV after work

We sure are, though peoples ideas of adventure are subjective. Maybe some guys ideas of adventure is to never commit to a girl and go through life jumping from partner to partner - if that's how they get there kicks then whatever floats your boat, though I have to confess to me it sounds mind numbingly dull

My personal idea of adventure is of doing things that are actually difficult to accomplish and that make you proud.

Mountain biked right through the alps, just me and my mates and a tent - that was an adventure.

I've rowed to the isle of wight - that was an adventure, as was running a marathon and leading my football team as far in the cup as its ever gone - I class that as an adventure.

I want to climb Kilimanjaro, that will definitely go top of my list.

I also see marriage itself as an adventure, to share your entire life with someone, to have kids and raise them into adults together - that sounds like an adventure to me

 

sorry we're not all the same

Exactly!!

 

I'm not going to sit in a marriage that's sexless, passionless, emotionless, abusive, destructive, self-serving or self-loathing, riddled with resentment/guilt, blame, some form of sacrifice for the children and household..that just isn't my thing, I couldn't live with myself pretending to live a lie or forcing myself to do something I didn't want to do...I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't make the other person happy and there would have to be a means to end.

Good for you!

I agree - neither would I!

 

Only your question isn't 'why do men want to be in a sexless, passionless, emotionless, abusive, destructive, self-serving or self-loathing, riddled with resentment/guilt, blame, some form of sacrifice for the children marriage.

 

Your question is marriage full stop - and you don't want it, fine, great, good for you. I do!

I don't want a sexless, passionless, emotionless, abusive, destructive, self-serving or self-loathing, riddled with resentment/guilt and blame marriage. I want a marriage like my folks and my grandparents, my brother, my sister have all got.

I want a marriage with sex and passion as well as companionship, memories, children, loyalty, trust, coming home to your wife, someone who'll stand by you. I'm a teamplayer on the field and i'm happiest living my life as a teamplayer off of it.

 

Okay you don't agree, you don't want a marriage, fair play - but that's just you! Not me. and not men in general.

 

 

But instead of blaming just the men...why don't women blame the women? the women who sleep with these men and have this relationships

Because the other women, although her values and morals are questionable, never made a promise to the wife, unlike her husband who would of made plenty.

This reverses exactly the same in the case of a cheating women - the other man never made any promises to 'be loyal to', 'to stand by', 'to honour' or any of the rest of it to the husband, unlike his wife.

You should live and die by your word.

[xxoo]

Ninja, do you actually LIKE anything at all about women? Do you see ANY value to our gendar outside of sexual gratification? Although I have never in my life acted the way you describe "most" women (nor do most of the women in my personal life act that way), I still feel embarrassed and ashamed when I read your posts. I feel like my very presence on this earth is apparently a bane to men like you and I'm really confused as to where all this hatred and disdain is coming from. Do you really believe that every ill in the world is a woman's fault? Can you describe anything whatsoever that you like about us or recognize any value we provide to the world at all?

 

I'm wondering the same. I'm nothing like how Ninja describes "women" and "wives", and I can't imagine having such a bleak view of women.

I often feel the same when very negative women post about men. I don't even recognize the description, and I can't imagine having such a bleak view of men.

 

I love men. That's why I married one. And I married one who loves women (thank god!).

 

I love that my man can't be controlled. He's a doting husband and father because he loves it. What good would it be if I had to coerce and control him? I don't understand women who think that way.

 

Yes, we are all different: men and women. The important thing is for people to find compatible partners, and not try to force a square peg into a round hole. Have the confidence to be yourself, and let others be themselves without feeling the need to tear them apart for making different choices.

[Eivuwan]

OP, do you hate women or do you hate marriage? Right now I am not seeing the difference. Seems like a frustrating way to live to hate half the world's population that you would also like to be intimate with don't you think?

[Got it]

What always surprises me how a person feels they can speak for an entire gender or group.

 

If you don't want to marry for goodness sake don't marry. I haven't seen anyone shot, killed, or maimed for staying single.

 

I do not see being married as a necessity but a nicety. I see my partner as an enhancement on my life but not the crux of my life. Plus I greatly enjoy the male gender and enjoy having my closest relationship with one.

 

We don't always get along but I don't see it being a gender issue. I remember having definite differences of opinion with both genders at times in my life. It is about trying to merge your life with another. You can fight like siblings at times.

 

But no one has to get married, etc. If you don't want to, don't do it. To each their own. I enjoy it but I would enjoy being single as well. Why? Because I am comfortable with myself, I am financially self sufficient, and have close family and friends. But I love what he "brings to the table" and he never ceases to amuse, amaze and enlighten me. I don't care what gender, that is unique and worth grabbing on to.

[Woggle]

Nobody controls me or forces me into anything. I am the kind of person who can't be told what to do but I am monogamous. Some of your post actually makes good points and I would run away from a woman who tried to change me like the plague but many of your points are also BS.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Yes I loathe women totally have horrible relationships with the men and women in my personal life, which is why I constantly post about them here on LoveShack and talk smack about all of my romantic relationships

 

This is very much targeted at marriage for me as an institution, but you know there really is no rules or guidelines to marriage, no quality control, no psychological/emotional analysis of whether two people should even ever be within two thousand yards of each others presence....f@ck up the kids lives? ah well, anything for love...was it a total disaster? ah well, at least it's better than being alone or the alternative, because you've got support, and companionship I guess...so let's do it again! but hey lets' not focus on our personal issues or the past after all, I'm sure someone in the future will fix that right up for me, after all in marriage, my problem is now our problem...and the fact that the village idiot himself could get married and wave the mighty flag like it's some badge of honor only goes to show it's deep value and integrity that will endure the test of time.

 

After all...it's only marriage, what's the big deal? hey anyone want to get married? don't worry, we can do it within hours of meeting or both be two psycho paths...not like there's any rules to it, but hey it sure does represent true love, commitment, happiness, and we'll have to "work"...hey, you can generalize marriage being all of that just not anything else right?...so through the ups and downs you go, but you know everything takes work anyway and I'm sure it isn't going to be THAT big of a deal whatever it is...and if it doesn't work we might treat it each other like dogs possibly who cared just as much about each other in the end as crap on the bottom of our shoe...but at least once.....we "loved" each other...enough to get "married", but it wasn't marriages fault after all....it's whatever you want it to be and make it and it depends on the person so you can just kind of try again anyway, 5 or 10 years from now you could married to someone else for all we know.

 

I guess I'll never get how something that's supposed to be so "special" can be thrown around like trash then be forgotten about, moving right along like nothing happened and then be heralded as something so magical and wonderful at the same time...I've seen how people have treated each other, and I don't understand how people even married someone they didn't even get along with in a long-term relationship to begin with.

 

And those who have been married young, limited perspective...a disconnect from the rest of the world. I don't know how many of you have the misfortune of seeing what people go through...maybe that's the difference, I see it all the time..I hear it all the time, it's not outside of my bubble..I've been talking to people about relationships and marriages for years...but you, probably only ever looked at anything from very own experiences and maybe a few close friends at that...maybe that's why it's so foreign to you, maybe you don't even care to think about it. But don't act like it didn't happen to you when the shet obviously hit the fan in your marriage at one time or another, something causing the end of it.

 

And as adults, in front of all these damn kids like Shepp...the guy is walking into a relationship with a friend who he is enamored with, who is his supposed future wife has got twins from a mysterious guy who we don't know the identity of, who wants to get married and you still say nothing but encourage him...there's like no responsibility for anyone married to express or provide guidance to these young/naive people who don't know a damn thing about what they're getting themselves into by at least being transparent about this shet, that's what irks me the most....they just read the fluffy little posts you write and buy it hook line and sinker...not that they need it...but at least freakin represent what it really is, at least if not for yourself but so that the rest of these clueless kids can have a fraction of a sense of what they're actually getting into and what the reality really is like...what the "work" truly is!

Edited December 23, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas

[Janesays]

I just asked what you like about women and what, if anything, you think we contribute of value to the world. I would really like to know if you are capable of answering this question honestly and without sarcasm.

[jimloveslips]

Why do men...

 

The problem with generalizations is I'm always excited to be included, only to find, that once again, I'm outside looking in.

 

...what [do] you like about women

 

Now this is inclusive!

Women are the epitome of human evolution, so far...

 

and what [do] we contribute of value to the world

 

Everything.

Women are the peacekeepers.

I'm sure I'm going to insult a lot of men, but if women ruled the world we'd all be a lot happier, and getting a lot more quality sex.

[xxoo]

And those who have been married young, limited perspective...a disconnect from the rest of the world. I don't know how many of you have the misfortune of seeing what people go through...maybe that's the difference, I see it all the time..I hear it all the time, it's not outside of my bubble..I've been talking to people about relationships and marriages for years...but you, probably only ever looked at anything from very own experiences and maybe a few close friends at that...maybe that's why it's so foreign to you, maybe you don't even care to think about it. But don't act like it didn't happen to you when the shet obviously hit the fan in your marriage at one time or another, something causing the end of it.

 

Why would you think you have a wider perspective than the other posters here? I've seen the spectrum, and I realize how rare (and precious) a truly great marriage is. I understand the advantages and disadvantages of a decent marriage and a poor marriage. I've seen the best, the worst, and everything in between, as have most posters here over a certain age. At least half of the weddings I attended in my 20s ended in divorce.

 

What I'm seeing now, in my 40s, is people getting married for the second time. Next year, I'll attend the second marriage of a lifelong friend (a man). I know exactly why he wants to be married, and it has nothing to do with fantasy, coercion, or dependency.

[xxoo]

And as adults, in front of all these damn kids like Shepp...the guy is walking into a relationship with a friend who he is enamored with, who is his supposed future wife has got twins from a mysterious guy who we don't know the identity of, who wants to get married and you still say nothing but encourage him...there's like no responsibility for anyone married to express or provide guidance to these young/naive people who don't know a damn thing about what they're getting themselves into by at least being transparent about this shet, that's what irks me the most....they just read the fluffy little posts you write and buy it hook line and sinker...not that they need it...but at least freakin represent what it really is, at least if not for yourself but so that the rest of these clueless kids can have a fraction of a sense of what they're actually getting into and what the reality really is like...what the "work" truly is!

 

As for advising younger people, I encourage young people to go slow and delay marriage. I married young, and have no regrets, but I realize I was lucky. I won't be encouraging my kids to marry at 20.

 

But at the same time, it sounds like the poster you reference has good example of marriage all around him. It doesn't sound like he is naive at all about what marriage entails. Also, we need to respect that young adults are still adults, and are entitled to make their own decisions (and possibly mistakes). Preaching rarely changes their decisions, but listening can open communication. I also fully believe that Shepp will be ok, no matter what the outcome.

 

With that attitude in mind, I can wish him the heartiest congrats and celebrate his young family. The odds are stacked against them, and I hope they overcome the odds.

[Eivuwan]

My question is "So what?" So what if most marriages fail. So what if people make mistakes. That is part of life. Some marriages do succeed. Are you going to tell me that these people who have been happy with their spouses for most of their lives are just living in fantasy? In life we take risks because while risk can result in great pain, it can also result in great rewards.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I just asked what you like about women and what, if anything, you think we contribute of value to the world. I would really like to know if you are capable of answering this question honestly and without sarcasm.

 

I like a lot of things about women...they've given me a lot in my life, from the small things to the fond memories of the loving nature of relatives in my youth before my family split up into atoms until present day. Women who I'll never stop thinking about or forget.

 

Women taught me how to see things in a different light, from a different point of view...they allowed me to be expressive and sensitive again, didn't make me feel crazy for being who I was...they've given me an endless amount of support, love, nurturing and self-sacrifice showing me how to put someone else first.

 

I've had to be tough in life growing up going through difficult times alone, women showed me how to be sensitive and feel again and what is was like to have someone by my side who I could count on, I never imagined someone would be there for me like that...and looking back it was something I wouldn't have made it without. They loved me hard and were always there for me when I needed them.

 

Practically every woman I had a relationship with, be it friendship, acquaintance or relationship has contributed to me becoming who I want to be as a man and has taught me a lot about myself and my faults, and we've shared a lot together. The most impressionable relationships being long-term relationships, but even from places unexpected and sometimes temporary yet long-lasting. I could never imagine being where I am today without them being apart of my life, they've changed me in so many ways. My life would be empty without women in my life in some capacity.

 

Unfortunately being with one woman would have limited my experience in life greatly, I would have never made it here mentally/emotionally where I am today if it wasn't for the experiences I learned with each, and I was able to look back at my different relationships with women and see my patterns, take responsibility for my own issues and contributions to the difficulties or failures/short-comings in that relationship...I never blamed another person for my decisions and I always took responsibility in the people I chose to share my time with, I think I picked incredible women in my life or they chose me for some reason...and most of the time, they didn't just fade away out of my life just like that...I've seen them eventually move on, get married and start a family.

 

Because of my mistakes in the past, and I've made many...hurt a lot of women along the way, held them close but cut them deeply at times as well, I did a lot of damage...but I've learned to challenge myself and go through the slow grinding process of change with some of the major issues in my life within myself because I was able to see what I was doing to someone I loved and cared for....it was the greatest motivation I could ever have to try and fix the issues that were self-destructive within myself, I felt like I had to make something worthwhile come out of that...I could blame a lot of people, blame a lot experiences mainly in my childhood but never a woman in my romantic life, but I've learned to forgive like they have forgiven me which allowed me to forgive others in my life that I would have held a grudge forever with but now have a good relationship with instead...and by some miracle, after all i had done to them and it wasn't just once, twice or small things, but big things...they were somehow able to say I was a good man after all of that, I don't know If I could ever accept that label.

 

Women have showed me how to be more honest and truthful, transparent with my thoughts and feelings and they helped me figure out myself and thereby understand other men as well as understand women more emotionally...I've always had fantastic communication in my relationships for better or worse, its the one of the things women constantly tell me they're afraid of not having or losing once they know what it's like to be with a man like that.

 

Because of the women in my life, is the reason why I am here. I would never been here on my own accord, I would have like most men been feeding into whatever my needs were in real life...this would be a waste of time for me...I was too selfish and cared little about what others thought or more or less did outside of the people I interacted in life with.

 

It's why I've spent countless hours speaking with women on LS about men, and their personal issues/problems, difficulties in their relationships. I've done so many things since the past to try and be less selfish and give back...to try in some small way to repay a debt I could never fill, but because of them I have been passionate about change and it's been years since I started.

 

I may not have corralled my passion and strong opinions, I'm still pretty horrible at being patient and I squirm in my pants and become short-tempered reading all this crap on LS all of the time...but behind the scenes I am helping some people but I never planned this or saw myself doing this...it all feels like an accident that just became.

 

Now the one thing that I can ask in return to answering your question is to not ask me any details or to elaborate on any of this....this is all I have to share about my personal life...however you interpret it or whatever you think whether good or bad as a result...it is what it is, take for what you see and that is that.

 

My question is "So what?" So what if most marriages fail. So what if people make mistakes. That is part of life. Some marriages do succeed. Are you going to tell me that these people who have been happy with their spouses for most of their lives are just living in fantasy? In life we take risks because while risk can result in great pain, it can also result in great rewards.

 

What I'm saying is clearly not being understood by many on this forum, at least the outspoken individuals.

 

We do not agree on the definition of "value", we do not share the same views of responsibility and opinions on relationships/marriage, and that is that. Whatever the consequences, or lack thereof, or the portrayal of an image only cast in a certain light, is something I do not relate to...I disagree with the fundamental views.

 

I see a different path of enlightenment, fulfillment and truth....I know too much to simply take things at face value of what is being said here. If I were to believe that then I'd be disgracing all the knowledge and experiences I've had in my life that know otherwise...the "gut" feeling inside of me tells me know better...and I believe it, I've tried to explain myself in great detail...but there are no detailed counter-arguments to form any other arguments against...just the same rhetoric you'd hear pretty much anywhere from just about anyone speaking praises about marriage...it's very vague and general surface stuff...doesn't explain anything at all besides the emotional aspect, which is also filtered.

 

But to prevent another argument out of it, that is just my opinion, that is my feeling in regards to it...you don't have to agree with it, nor do I even expect you to in the slightest.

 

If people are asking questions or thinking a little bit deeper about marriage because of it, that's the only kind of "success" I expect.

[NGC1300]

I haven't read this whole thread, but getting married and having kids is absolutely a societal expectation to achieve "success".

[Dean13]

There are so many assumptions about wives and women in general from the OP, that no matter how well laid out and intelligent his argument is made in these long drawn out posts, I just find it hard to take them very seriously.

 

Some people get married young, some wait, some never get married. Some marry for love, some money, some convenience, some desperation.

 

Some people take a job because they love it, some take a job because it pays well, some take a job because it's close to their home, and some are so desperate they take whatever they can find.

 

In both examples, some times it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're not.

 

Take a chance and live your life, many women want to get married, if you find one you don't want to lose, you're going to have to marry her, hopefully you end up happy. If not, find one who doesn't want to get married or stay unattached.

 

Everything else in this analysis is BS.

[jimloveslips]

getting married and having kids is absolutely a societal expectation to achieve "success".

 

Your societal expectation...

 

We're not a homogeneous glob of humanity

[xxoo]

I see a different path of enlightenment, fulfillment and truth....I know too much to simply take things at face value of what is being said here. If I were to believe that then I'd be disgracing all the knowledge and experiences I've had in my life that know otherwise...the "gut" feeling inside of me tells me know better...and I believe it, I've tried to explain myself in great detail...but there are no detailed counter-arguments to form any other arguments against...just the same rhetoric you'd hear pretty much anywhere from just about anyone speaking praises about marriage...it's very vague and general surface stuff...doesn't explain anything at all besides the emotional aspect, which is also filtered.

 

Why is your experience "truth" and other's experience "rhetoric"?

 

What do you think about family as a counter-argument? Do you see value in family?

[peruano99]

I don't plan to get married because honestly it's the same as being in a long-term relationship. A piece of paper isn't going to change my love for my partner.