Working with mm

[n1BB1t]

Just a brief story about me.

Had been with mm for approximate a year and we has been working together for 2 plus year. His wife discover us last Oct and it has been a rough time since then. This year march when his baby girl was born, he begin to push me away but didn't initiate for no contact. He begin to ignore my feeling, sleeping on my bed throughout our rare meetup, adhoc cancelling all our meetup. Finding excuses to not eating lunch with me. Asking me to ignore him when we meetup just because he is not happy. Every month we always quarrel badly through texting.

 

Everything ends on this monday, at first he initiate texting to inform me to cancel all our meetup for continuous 2 weeks. I got so upset and both of us start to thrash out everything. Since he baby girl is out, I admit i have been begging and asking for his time. He eventually did make a bit time for me but he didnt spend with me mainly was falling asleep on my bed. And when an hour is up wake him up to go home.

 

Anyway things ended not so happy. Though he offer to continue lunching together (cause for the past year we have been lunching together), but I took the harsh way to go no contact. Throughout our texting, he is just sitting behind me. If I continue to lunch with him, I would continue to give in to his whatever unreasonable request but get nothing back from him. I told me not to worry cause I wouldn't call him as I had already deleted his mobile number. I didn't memorize it anyway so there's no way to contact him

 

Today has been the 4th day of no contact, depression struck me badly since the first day. I told me to change his seat so that I couldn't see him. But the first thing when I reached office is he is still sitting at his seat. Talking happily with another colleagues mentioning that he bought new game and was playing last night. The next day I even heard him buying new phone for himself.

 

His voices and him is all around me. He speaks to the whole team except me. He is laughing happily as if nothing has happened. I am miserably sitting at my seat crying. Lunch time hit me hardly as we usually spend our time together driving out to eat and listening to him updating his project status and his new gadgets. These few days, I hasn't been eating during lunch and stay at my seat to cry. But he was happily asking people around to lunch with him.

 

I tried to laugh happily with others but everyone could see my shack face. Since then we had not been making any eye contact even though he is sitting so near to me. I admit I miss him and want to contact him to get his attention but I didnt cause he is a ego and stubborn person. He would not go against his decision furthermore he already find me as an hassle to maintain.

 

The problem is I don't know how to not get upset he keep appearing in front of me. I feel much calmer at home but I can't skip work too much. I can't change my job cause I am the breadwinner and just got promoted this year with much more better pay. Ex mm mentioned eventually he would leave this company and had been sending out resume. Now with no contact I am not sure what is the status for his new job. Both of us can't change seat as we had to work together as a project team with others too.

 

Many told me to ignore him but my office area is small any whisper could be heard clearly. I hate and also upset to see him so happy and totally not getting affected. It just make my emotion get worst. My work is piling up and its my most busiest period of the year. I am anxious to get back in track but my emotion is all over the place. And everyday I was waiting for times up to go home.

 

Is there any advice that I could get from anyone ?

I am clueless now and I am about to seek for psychiatrist help.

[harrybrown]

I would go to counseling.

 

It is good that you are going NC. You said you are the breadwinner.

 

Are you married? You could talk to your spouse about this, because your spouse will be wondering what is wrong.

 

If he does not leave, you should try to get a different job. Get him out of your life and in time, things will get better. He has a new daughter. He was cheating with you. He is not a prize.

[n1BB1t]

I would go to counseling.

 

It is good that you are going NC. You said you are the breadwinner.

 

Are you married? You could talk to your spouse about this, because your spouse will be wondering what is wrong.

 

If he does not leave, you should try to get a different job. Get him out of your life and in time, things will get better. He has a new daughter. He was cheating with you. He is not a prize.

No I am single.

I am staying with my mom cause my parent divorce last year.

I need to pay for the house that we are currently staying and everything.

 

I am at the end of my way before I seek out for counselling .

I can't leave cause I couldn't get another job which pay well like my current now

With my current emotion state, I don't think I could manage a new job.

 

I am just wondering am I bad in coping with heart break or it is hard for me

to heal when I still get to see him in office everyday ??

[leavethepieces]

No I am single.

I am staying with my mom cause my parent divorce last year.

I need to pay for the house that we are currently staying and everything.

 

I am at the end of my way before I seek out for counselling .

I can't leave cause I couldn't get another job which pay well like my current now

With my current emotion state, I don't think I could manage a new job.

 

I am just wondering am I bad in coping with heart break or it is hard for me

to heal when I still get to see him in office everyday ??

 

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I didn't think I'd be able to find a job that paid as well, so I hung on for a couple of months. But I could not take it. I saw him every day, heard his voice, heard him laughing and acting as if everything was right in the world. It tore me to pieces. I went home depressed every day. I cried every day.

 

Finally, I had to throw in the towel. I gave my two weeks notice without having another job lined up. Thankfully I was unemployed for only one week - I found another job that paid the same but had better bonuses and better opportunities.

 

Sometimes, you just have to ask if it's worth it. The pain and heart ache wasn't worth it for me, even if I was going to struggle financially.