relationship ended; never deteriorated

[igotsomejc4u]

I'll make this one pithy.

 

I was in a relationship that ended out of the blue. things were great between us, she left me for another man, as far as I know she didn't cheat. We never had a bad fight, or anything. She just poof gone and there is no closure to get, she ran into a blast from the past and it was over.

 

I guess the pain from the breakup was just like any other at first, but it's going on 7 months and I still don't feel any better than I did after the first week. I don't have any bad memories of it or anything. It feels more like she died than it does a breakup. I am having a hard time with this, as all that I am left with is incredible memories of a great relationship. I still have much love for her.

 

Anyone else delt with something like this?

[moon]

It sounds like it is time for you to say to yourself.....if it was meant to be it would have happened. That's it. You and her were just not gonna happen.

 

She does sound very callous. Again you have to tell yourself---Do I want a girlfriend like that?

 

I think it can happen that you "bump" into somebody from the past and you just want to be with them asap. But what she did to you was hurtful and she left you very upset.

 

To make you feel better, I knew this girl in college who everybody liked. She was very pretty and popular and had so many things going for her. She actually broke up with a guy to go out with this other really good looking guy in college. He was just this very cool guy. Everybody thought....how lucky this really cool girl is to go out with this other totally cool guy........everything just seemed perfect for them. They just seemed to have the best life!

 

Until....the very cool guys ex girlfriend entered the picture about a year later. She came out of nowhere....moved back from someplace or something. Very quickly the cool guy dumped (!!!) the great girl he was going out with (to many, many people's surprise) and hooked up again with his ex and married her maybe a year later and I believe they have kids now and they are married.

 

It was a HUGE heartbreak for that girl who got dumped. I don't think she had ever been dumped in her life!! But sometimes I say to myself.....if it could happen to her......it could happen to anybody!!

 

Sometimes other people are meant to be with different people for different reasons and we just have to accept that. I know I am dealing with some of that now too.

 

Don't waste anymore time on this person you are worshipping. They are not worth it!!! Think---God has a plan. Do you know what it is? No....so stop questioning what happened between you and this girl and move on.

 

Just let it go! In a way this girl has died. She's not in your life anymore. I think you do have to sort of let yourself get to the level where you put it behind you. I think it has to be somewhat conscious for some people. You just have to say enough. And control your mind to think of other things. Good luck. Stop torturing yourself for somebody who isn't coming back. Tell yourself she isn't coming back. Tell yourself that if she really loved you she would have come back already. Be real with yourself. Be honest with yourself. Do yourself that favor!

 

Then you can move on to another relationship or be alone and feel happy.

[igotsomejc4u]

Thank you for your reply. I agree that God has a plan, and I have a pretty good insight into what he is doing in my life and why this happened. It just so happened the guy she left me for cheated on her immediatley, at this point though I was completely out of my mind--not someone she would want to go back to. I think she is too proud for that anyway.

 

I'm not having any huge problems with this except for the giant hole in my heart and an intense longing to see her again, but we no longer talk.

 

I was just curious if anyone else had gone through this. This was definatley a unique situation to me.