blue963 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 My MM seems to play the push pull game. When he cant see me wants me more. Once sees me ... everything else is a priority. I get tired of this. Our only method of communication is chat. Yesterday, I understand he was working, but I got a whole 7 minutes of communication. I guess what is bothering me most is that it was the wifes bd and sure he made it nice for her. One month ago, I didnt even get a happy birthday. This morning...get a bright and chipper email and I know he has gotten on several times to see if I have responded. (Not like me because our communication is always take when you can get so I try to) I'm just really tired of being put last on the list and sometimes I feel like Im not on any list at all. Interesting because last week we had about 20 minutes contact in five days, but he expects me to be devoted as ever and miss him terribly. I will never ever get involved this type of relationship again. Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Hi blue You're not being oversensitive. If he loves you, he should put more effort in the relationship. 20 minutes chat in 5 days, unless it's something exceptional and there is a good excuse, is unnaceptable. Are you long distance? Do you see each other? You should feel he loves you even if he can't contact you all the time. Sorry, he sounds really selfish. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blue963 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 We are not long distance. We live 15 minutes apart. For privacy reasons we communicate via chat only. we see each other once a week for a few hours. The only contact we have other than that is chat with video. I have tried to explain that this connection of chat is all i have. (not making excuses) he has a very driven personality and good income self employed. But if you truly care about someone you make time. That keeps smacking me. I always take time out of my schedule when he needs to connect. I guess at this point, I am just taken for granted. So I am changing all of that. Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Sounds like he gives you just enough to string you along so you'll be available when he wants you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blue963 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 yes my thoughts and im tired of it Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Are you going to end it or simply change the dynamics? Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I think you are being oversensitive. As an OW this is what you sign up for. You get the bits and pieces, not the whole enchilada. He has a job and a wife....maybe even kids (not sure cause you didn't say). Time is at a premium for him and he gives what he can without chancing getting caught cheating. Is this a deal breaker for you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blue963 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 sorry I dont quite agree with you there. He has no children. I have been available for every crisis that he has needed me frequently making it inconvenient for myself. I did it because I wanted. I am only asking to be respected. Not too hard. I am not very demanding. Point is seems that he wants me available at his convenience. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 My MM seems to play the push pull game. When he cant see me wants me more. Once sees me ... everything else is a priority. I get tired of this. Our only method of communication is chat. Yesterday, I understand he was working, but I got a whole 7 minutes of communication. I guess what is bothering me most is that it was the wifes bd and sure he made it nice for her. One month ago, I didnt even get a happy birthday. This morning...get a bright and chipper email and I know he has gotten on several times to see if I have responded. (Not like me because our communication is always take when you can get so I try to) I'm just really tired of being put last on the list and sometimes I feel like Im not on any list at all. Interesting because last week we had about 20 minutes contact in five days, but he expects me to be devoted as ever and miss him terribly. I will never ever get involved this type of relationship again. You aren't his wife, his first priority, you're the Ow having an affair with him. Sorry but either accept your role in his life, enjoy the times you do get to talk to him and spend time with him, or end it. He isn't looking to leave and divorce his wife, he's just in this for the affair. Don't make him such a high priority in your life!! He certainly isn't making you one in his. Give that some thought. Did you think he would ignore his wife's bday and not plan a celebration for her? Ask yourself why you're settling for so little. You're worth SO MUCH more than this, and all he can offer you is to be his OW, his side dish! Dump his selfish ass and find a real man who will treat you like a queen and you won't have to share him with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 sorry I dont quite agree with you there. He has no children. I have been available for every crisis that he has needed me frequently making it inconvenient for myself. I did it because I wanted. I am only asking to be respected. Not too hard. I am not very demanding. Point is seems that he wants me available at his convenience. I only answered the question you asked. Are you being oversensitive? It is okay if you don't quite agree. I did qualify the kids statement by saying you didn't tell us at first. And that doesn't make much of a difference either way. The fact is he demands stuff from you without giving much in return. And that is what you signed on for by seeing a MM. By the way most MM are very selfish by nature which is why asks more of you than he can/is willing to give himself. If you want someone that is available whenever you need, then date a single man. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts