SeCkZy_AnGeL Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color]Just this weekend i had sex with my boyfriend. I understand a bit about loosing my virginity but i dont know weather im still a virgin or not because even though we had sex i didnt orgasm and he didnt come. It was a bit uncomfortable and i don't think we would have got off like that. He went right inside me though. Am i still a virgin seeing i didnt get off? Link to post Share on other sites
Dakini Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Am i still a virgin seeing i didnt get off? Um, no. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Virginity is outdated as a concept, and worthless semantically. You can call yourself a virgin if you want to. It doesn't mean you can't be pregnant, and it doesn't mean you can't be infected. Link to post Share on other sites
d.stevens Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 doubt theres such a thing as a virgin nowadays lol Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Originally posted by Dakini Um, no. Ditto, Definately NOT a virgin......or half of the women in the world could claim they still were...Ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Dakini Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Although it is possible that virginity is neither "absolute, or real, or definable"1 in a social sense. I was referring to a being a non-virgin in the clinical sense, which to me meant penetration of the vagina by a penis. But perhaps this is also a construct in my own mind. Perhaps I need to reconsider my definitions.... 1Jamaica's Umble World Views, p. 147, PCH Press, San Fransisco. 2004. Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Back in the dark ages when they would test virginity they did various tests that assured the girl was a virgin proofs if you will. One proof would be the hymen, though girls can be born without them or lose them doing other sports and stuff. These days most girls just pull them apart themselves in their early teens. The other was that a girl was virgin tight, and could not easily pass more than one finger into her vagina at any time. Now women can tighten up and be tight like virgins, but if they relax they can definately take a two slider easier. Hehehe.. But after simply breaking a girls hymen that i had trouble getting into, I found that I couldn't get two fingers into her without much effort or tearing her and having her bleed from it. So that is the real test, of what is ultimately making you a virgin. If you have had a man inside you and he's gone into your vagina, not just grazing the entrance, than definately you are not a virgin. But then there are other definitions of purity that represent virginity which would include all physical intimacy to some degree. But I think the basic Christian laws behind this is to prevent lustful relationship, that don't lead to stable families, and are open to disease and pregnancies, and are built in love in God. So there is a sort of sacredness to having sexual intercourse with vaginal penetration in a holy aspect, and some would argue that all intimacy outside marriage is lustful and immoral, and people should abstain from it. They also seem to feel that celibacy is encouraged in the Bible when really I believe it only says people don't have to marry if they want to devote more of their resources to serving the Lord rather than raising a family. But ultimately it seems to feel that fornication which is sexual inconsistency is a sin, that is basically adultery outside of marriage, or sex outside of marriage. But I mean if you wanna take this all the way, you can say holding hands, thinking of sex, kissing, all which are accepted by most mainstream religions as acceptable. What it comes down to is a socialable usefulness of these laws, and a sense of peace in righteousness with obeying them. Many say that any intimacy evenutally leads to fornication, so that is the problem with it. I however can control myself, and I live a single not celibate lifestyle, having a lot of softcore relationships, and I would even concider myself a minister though I don't do this for a living, it's something I do as a public service in my spare time. I personally don't like the complications of hardcore sex, pregnancy, disease, stress, or with birth control side effects from that rick of failure, or loss of pleasure. So I am happier having softer core relationships, but a girl can get pregnant even with softer core type sexual situations that are leading towards sex. I am lucky though not being really fertile or much of a loader. But it can happen with a more fertile girl I suppose, and that scares me some getting stuck with a girl I don't like. So I am more comfortable just making out and having a relationship and stuff. But it's a big turn on to get a tease every now and then and I like that. But not saying that it's right, I wonder myself and I pray and that's the only way I know for sure and have peace with it. But so far so good, and ultimately I hope I do find some girl I really like. But until then I am happy having a lot of soft core relationships and playing the field. I acctually think it's healthy and good for the body to be in somewhat intimate relationships, but the risks of sex don't make it much worth it in my eyes. Cause I mean birth control sucks, and going into a girl you risk getting her knocked up, and I usually wind up just pulling out anyhow and masterbating. So it's just not really that good unless you are married and want kids and can deal with the stress and complications. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 No you sex !!! Did you break your hymen ? Did you bleed at all? You did the deed and you aren't a virgin anymore...You might want to be careful he went inside did you use any protection at all !! You don't want to get pregnant or some std!! Good Luck:D Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 The OP was 12/6/2004, I think its safe to say she has popped her cherry by now. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Back in the dark ages when they would test virginity they did various tests that assured the girl was a virgin proofs if you will. One proof would be the hymen, though girls can be born without them or lose them doing other sports and stuff. These days most girls just pull them apart themselves in their early teens. The other was that a girl was virgin tight, and could not easily pass more than one finger into her vagina at any time. Now women can tighten up and be tight like virgins, but if they relax they can definately take a two slider easier. Hehehe.. But after simply breaking a girls hymen that i had trouble getting into, I found that I couldn't get two fingers into her without much effort or tearing her and having her bleed from it. So that is the real test, of what is ultimately making you a virgin. If you have had a man inside you and he's gone into your vagina, not just grazing the entrance, than definately you are not a virgin. But then there are other definitions of purity that represent virginity which would include all physical intimacy to some degree. But I think the basic Christian laws behind this is to prevent lustful relationship, that don't lead to stable families, and are open to disease and pregnancies, and are built in love in God. So there is a sort of sacredness to having sexual intercourse with vaginal penetration in a holy aspect, and some would argue that all intimacy outside marriage is lustful and immoral, and people should abstain from it. They also seem to feel that celibacy is encouraged in the Bible when really I believe it only says people don't have to marry if they want to devote more of their resources to serving the Lord rather than raising a family. But ultimately it seems to feel that fornication which is sexual inconsistency is a sin, that is basically adultery outside of marriage, or sex outside of marriage. But I mean if you wanna take this all the way, you can say holding hands, thinking of sex, kissing, all which are accepted by most mainstream religions as acceptable. What it comes down to is a socialable usefulness of these laws, and a sense of peace in righteousness with obeying them. Many say that any intimacy evenutally leads to fornication, so that is the problem with it. I however can control myself, and I live a single not celibate lifestyle, having a lot of softcore relationships, and I would even concider myself a minister though I don't do this for a living, it's something I do as a public service in my spare time. I personally don't like the complications of hardcore sex, pregnancy, disease, stress, or with birth control side effects from that rick of failure, or loss of pleasure. So I am happier having softer core relationships, but a girl can get pregnant even with softer core type sexual situations that are leading towards sex. I am lucky though not being really fertile or much of a loader. But it can happen with a more fertile girl I suppose, and that scares me some getting stuck with a girl I don't like. So I am more comfortable just making out and having a relationship and stuff. But it's a big turn on to get a tease every now and then and I like that. But not saying that it's right, I wonder myself and I pray and that's the only way I know for sure and have peace with it. But so far so good, and ultimately I hope I do find some girl I really like. But until then I am happy having a lot of soft core relationships and playing the field. I acctually think it's healthy and good for the body to be in somewhat intimate relationships, but the risks of sex don't make it much worth it in my eyes. Cause I mean birth control sucks, and going into a girl you risk getting her knocked up, and I usually wind up just pulling out anyhow and masterbating. So it's just not really that good unless you are married and want kids and can deal with the stress and complications. Its ok to play the field till you find the right one but hopefully you are using safe precautions like condoms!! Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 No I don't use condoms...I'm more into that natural cycle thing and pulling out. I've been with some very fertile mates, and not had any problems, though I realize that can be a problem sometime in the future. This is why I have less intimate relationships, these days, I like to go natural, but I don't like the stress outside marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Panhandler, are you really really sticking to the rhythm method, as in are you following all of the signs and strickly refraining from having sex when she is in her fertile times? because withdrawl is deffinitely not a birth control method, it is more of a statistics thing.... plus how do you know that you have had some "very fertile mates" if you didn't knock them up? I am just curious what you are basing that on... Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 yeah I follow all the signs, and pulling out, works great when you never actually go in. If you are in there sapping around, and the girl just happens to be fertile and happens to be in her window period and you just happen to have some titan sperm, sure things can go sour. But ehhh....I am pretty experienced and I know what I'm doing and I do more teasing than anything. The girls I know are fertile cause they are 18-19 and healthy most of them pretty tight too. But air sterilizes sperm, so you really need a tight seal and full penetration to make things happen. Even then you need generally some very active sperm and a fertile mate. It can be harder to tell with some woman then others, so I try to just have softer core relationships, I do tease every now and then. But I am pretty careful about that, and try to go thru as much signs as possible. See some of the signs are if the vagina outer labia are moist, this means that the girl is closer to ovulation, because of the fact though that the girl can get stimulated and wet, it can be hard to tell. I trust the girl though that knows her body and when she may be ovulating. It's hard though and you can't just do it with thru the fence partners, and sometimes it seems pointless when there's no real penetration or ejaculation. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Ahh, I am sorry, I posted this elswhere and I don't mean to attack you personally but I don't think you really quite know what you are doing! THe signs aren't things necessarily that you can tell, for the rhythm method to really work THE WOMAN need to be consistantly charting the signs for herself for months... the signs are a slight rise in temperature taken first thing in the morning and thicker cervical mucas... only the woman can know what is normal for her and what is thicker, etc... and you don't need a tight seal to get sperm up there... theoretically a small bit of sperm on the labia can swim up and impregnate a women... this is rare, but I know "virgins" who have gotten pregnant this way... just please be careful! and PS tightness has nothing to do with fertility! Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 I do what I can do...and I'm succesful at it. I have done this dozens of times with many girls and no ill results. Now there's always a slight chance with any birth control, all you can do is reduce the odds. Tightness and lacking of ejaculation are variables....technically sperm on the labia can get a fertile girl pregnant if it's strong. But again, sperm goes sterile once it hits air so any drop of sperm that is outside the body is not gonna get in there and cause pregnancy. Girls get pregnant when they are virgins from a guy cumming into them from the outside, or messing around everyday for a long time and building up the fleet sorta speak, letting the one or two pass thru. I generally have lapses inbetween times and like I said I let the girl worry about this, but look for my own signs whenever possible. I have heard of girls even getting pregnant in a hot tub or something if a lot of people have had sex in it. But this is very rare, and you're talking about lots and lots of sperm accumulating in a moist warm freshwater environment over time then swimming up her tubes. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Building up a fleet has nothing to do with it, and putting in "lapses" doesn't have any effect, it all depend on the time of month and whether or not sperm is in there there, no matter how much it is... there is about a 5-10 day window where if your sperm gets in a girl it could fertilize the egg when she ovulates, it is as simple as that..... Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 You're a simpleton, sperm doesn't just live in the body, it is destroyed by acids and various defenses of the girls body. You need a lot of sperm to last that long, and research shows like 99% of the successful pregnancies sperm was in the ovaries right at the time of ejaculation. Meaning that pressure and a lot of fluids helped to get it there. Ovulation only occurs I believe for a 24 hour period maybe 48hours tops forget, but that is the window. Sperm isn't just gonna settle down in there and live waiting for that time, the female body kills it. So that is the difference with actually ejaculating in a girl and not. I know plenty of people who see this as a rather effective birth control method when done correctly. I've read my share of books and have had my share of experience and also support from others experience. You are too young and inexperienced to know better. Get yourself married and have unprotected sex all the time, and you will figure it out. Lots of married women have agreed with me that the only time they've gotten pregnant was if a man actually got off inside them and pulling out works! There's the times when it can come unexpectedly and that's when you have to be prepared for, if you are really trying to get more intimate with it. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 As uninformed as this girl was, being that her post dates from a year ago, she probably has a child by now... Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 In my opinion you arent a virgin if; You receive or give oral sex. You have anal sex You have vaginal sex You get fingered/get a hand job In other words... A BIG FAT NO!! You are most definately NOT A VIRGIN!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Sorry Panhandler, I didn't mean to get in a pissing match, and I didn't say all that stuff to attack you personally, rather as a word of caution to anyone reading your posts not to take it at face value... and I do know what I am talking about... just one hour and 15 minutes ago I was in a sex ed class (the second one I have been to this month, you have to take them if you volunteer for PP) and the sexuality educator told us that the longest that sperm has been observed to survive inside a woman's reproductive tract (they have done actual studies) is 10 days, the average is 3-5... yes, it is destroyed by the acidic environment, but enough does survive for pregnancy to occur up to a week after intercourse... so yeah, it can "just wait in there" for an egg even though the egg only lives for about 48 hours... a lot of things that you talked about reduce the chances of pregnancy occuring, which is all you can hope for with any birth control method except abstainence, but if you are really serious about not being a father there are much safer ways to go about being sexually active... As a women who is very interetsed in not becoming pregnant I have studied this a lot, not to mention going through 3 PP trainings and a s*it load of sex ed classes... I am not a sexuality educator, but I do know what I am talking about, and it is drummed into us again and again that even if your fertile window is only a day or two, you can get pregnant even if you have sex up to a week before that.... PS what does being married have to do with experience and learning about fertility? I am sexually active and unmarried so I better damn well know my stuff! Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Because if you were married then you wouldn't care as much about the effectiveness of birth control, and wouldn't cling to pills and condoms. You'd just have sex a lot and realize, damn it's not really that easy to get pregnant for most people if they have some experience. What you are throwing at me is statistics, I can throw statistics at you, that say it's more dangerous to drive a car based on the number of car accidents. But if I have a clean driving record, and sex experience record, then obviously I'm doing something right. But accidents can happen to anyone, that's how children are born most of the time Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 6th December 2004, 1:48 AM Yeah, he keeps on digging up old threads...About VIRGINS no doubt. Can we say......FETISH??????? Link to post Share on other sites
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