innocntlisy1981 Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 im not sure if im in tha rite spot.but here gos.i was with this guy for 4 and a half years we lived together for 4 years of those and we were engaged to be married we had tha perfect lifestyle and relationship.(no kids)anyway one day my fiancee got killed in a car accident and it hit me like a ton of **** real bad totally changed me after tha accident i was real close with my family and his .me and my fiancee had alot of household effect also a car we did up together and spent $12000.so we had loans together u know tha usual Stu anyway.bout 2 weeks after tha funeral his parents starting saying things like "weve decided to take tha car it should be ours it should be with us"and we want some of his stuff and i was like hold on a minute whats going on here.i agreed to giv them sum personal things of there sons which i did but i was like ur not taking tha car thats mine and glens and i got stuk with tha loan for it.after that i realised i should seek legal help so i went to legal aid to get advice on tying up this mans estate and they tell me"sorry we cant c you we are already representing his parents"and i was like **** sumthing going on.so i hired anutha lawyer this whole time me and tha family still friends they didnt know what i was doing and they thought i didnt know what they were doing.i went to get legal help and was told being this mans defacto i as intitled to 80% and tha family got tha rest but that had to be shared between tha prents and tha bros and sisters.so me and my fiancees mother became joint administrators(meaning we sit down and come to an aggrement)anyway when she was told tha law she had a fit and sacked tha lawyer and told me it was her son and as far as she is concerned im not entitled to anything even tha stuff we paid for together.(there was no will ,i mean whos has a will at 22)anyway this woman has been nasty ever since i live in a very small town and she has totally spread lies around about me and tha worsted nastiest gossip its nearly been 2 years and i still have peple ringing me up with tha stories they hear.i just want to clear up all my fiancees estate so i can move on with my life i was left with alot of his debts and i was told since they are in both our names and im still living i have to pay them which is fine.but she has never once offred to help with her sons debts she has only ever gone on about what money she can get out of hi estate.this is emotionally f***in me in tha headn and financially ruing my family cos they have had to help me and also help me pay a lawyer to clear this all up.i am only 23 i am up to my ers in debts from my fiancee i have been shafted in every way possible.this woman even cums to my house to tell me im a slut and shes gunna kill me.its her son her money she tells me i am nuthing.(i cant understand we always got along really well till shefound out there ws money)i dont giv a **** bout tha cash i dont care if tha lawyers take it all i just want to move on with my life.it makes me so mad!basically want to know AM I DOING THA RITE THING BY SEEING A LAWYER AND CLEARING THIS UP i defintly think that his parens shouls have sumthing but shes not happy with that what more can i do??my new lawyer now tells me im entitled to 100% of everything and ive even had sum of tha insurance companies pik me as tha one they are paying out to.i just feel so guilty all tha time i dont want to fight over money and i know my fiancee would be disgusted at the way things were happening.but im trying to be reasonble she wont cum to tha party but now i have no choice but to fight bak or this woman is gunna sink me.id like sum input from mothers would u do this to ur kids partners if it happenend to you??i just want sum reassuarnce that im doing tha rite thing any more questions please ask.if u want to critise feel free i can just about handle anyhting. i am my wits end with tha gossip and tha bull**** im ready just to giv in nd say take everyhting(she evn wants our dog) Link to post Share on other sites
indigo_moon Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 girl, the gang-talk ("tha", "anutha", etc) is really hard to read and might be necessary on the streets but really isn't here. Another thing, punctuation and paragraphs are really good things. sorry, couldn't make it through your post. word. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocntlisy1981 Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 haha sorry i get that of text messenger and msn convos just habit!sumtimes i actually do it in applications for a job.;-)thanks anyway Link to post Share on other sites
indigo_moon Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Sometimes money makes people do crazy stupid things and when you add into the mix, someone (a mom) who's grieving the loss of their loved one, it can make them act irrationally. maybe that's the case here? How was his Mom to you when he was alive? (oh, and I'm so sorry about YOUR loss). Did she just get "this way" now, re: all the money and so forth? Of course you should get whatever money is necessary to clear up the debt, for sure. And don't let her take your dog for goodness sake unless you're not properly able to provide for the dog (food, shelter, proper vet care, etc) Do you think it might appear to her that you're trying to "cash in" here? How much money do you stand to gain? And how does she even know how much it is? Has she been snooping around? So you were officially engaged then..like you had a ring and all? what kind of things is she saying about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocntlisy1981 Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 to indigo moon "yes we always got along perfect.$50,000 is tha estate yes i provide for our dog perfectly and yes it was official we had a ring and all.and she is saying things like i cheated on him im a skank im just a root i could go on and on.i am certainly not trying to cash in here how could u say that i dont giv a f*** bout tha money i just want to move on with my life and for people to stop talking bout me.if it makes any diffrent to u her family hates her they are a hhere wits end wioth her my fiancees bros and sis wont even go hme cos they hate there mum tjhat much.i dont care bout tha money i just want to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Maria46 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 My condolences for your loss. I went thru the same situation many years ago when my bf who lived with me was killed in a car wreck. He died about 11 pm and the next morning around 8 am, some of his relatives started knocking on my door to collect some of his things and some tools he had borrowed. I gave all of the borrowed things at that time, but nothing more. His family and I planned his funeral and I picked out the casket and his clothes. And I purchased the headstone and had his children decide what they wanted on it. After I was done mourning, I went thru his personal things and gave them the family heirlooms he had. Nothing more...... The rest was our life together. Some people just see dollar signs when someone dies. "What can I get out of this?" In my opinion, I don't think they can take anything from you. The car is in your name as well (I'm assuming). If you purchased it together, I would think they would need to prove what he contributed. Not possible. Tell them to take a hike. It really leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you see this kind of behavior in people. Good luck with all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocntlisy1981 Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 thanku for replying.the loan on tha car was a personal loan but tha car was in hiis name so i had to pay the loan and im still paying registration to keep it liscensed but i cant sell it cos its in his name so ive been shafted with that big time and theres nufin i can do till it gos through court and is put in my name.this woman even claimed an insurance on hbf then i found out later by my lawyer that she had frauded them to get tha money cos u can only claim ur kids on hbf when they are dependent on you and my fiancee wasnt ven living with her so shes defintly a caninving bitch.im just done with it all i cant take much more its all wearing thin im just about ready to throw my hands up in tha air and say"hey take it all take what ever uwant"im sik of this nastiness and sefshiness it makes me so angry.my fiancees ashes were still in tha funeral parlour till up to 2 weeks ago sitting there no 1 could touch them.eventually i signed a letter to release tha funds to pay tha bill for them without thinkin she went and piked them up and then mes me strait away to rub it in my faceshe sais'ul be happy to know i have my son at home where he belongs"andi t dosent help that this woman has bipolar disorder and is basically of her nutta from it.i have my fiancees little bro cum over crying he cant go bak home he hates his mum she was in tha car with him and said lifes not worth living im gunna write this catr of into a tree with u in it.i mean what person sais that to her child.she needs help in tha meantime while she hasnt got help she will ontinue on o make peoples lifes a misery.she has treatment for her disorder but she keeps smoking pot with it and its sending her haywire CANT HELP SUM1 THAT DOSENT WANT TO BE HELPED this is a big stuffded up situation.;-( thanks maria Link to post Share on other sites
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