wjh Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 I'm met this guy, and turned out to become I think, what you can called, friends, with him. Cos we went on a whole weekend trip together, the first day due to circumstances, we had the whole day to ourselves, gradually adorable gazes (few seconds) into each others eyes, good conversations, etcetc ... in a word, possible (but not confirmed) interest towards each other, and I guess we can be called friends, or at least very good acquintances. Now, I have some questions regarding the next trips preparation (it's like sports-related) that I need someone to help, and he seems to be the most knowledgeable person that I know of. Is it okay to ask him? The thing is, I don't talk to him usually or even see him, if it werent for those trips, and I only met him once, it may be weird for me to just email him all of a sudden and ask him for favors/advice. He mentioned about looking forward to see me in the next trip though, but still, I read too many things about how, to get the guy that you want, though it's good to be around and let him see you more, it's best to not show any of your remote interest, and only be "passively active" in the whole chasing process... is that true? Anyhow... should I email him and ask him for advice/favor? And how should I word it? Remember I prefer not to show any signs of remote interests, and let alone to possibly annoy him cos I don't talk to him normally, so it may be weird to just ask him, or anyone in general, for advice just like that (or is it?) ... please help! thx Link to post Share on other sites
Scott70 Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 I wouldn't email him and ask him questions. I suggest you do your best to be yourself. After all, if you don't feel comfortable being yourself, how is he gonna feel comfortable being with you? If you ask him what you should do, then he is just gonna be shaping you into the person that he is looking for, and he will get bored with that very fast. Be yourself, be mysterious, keep him guessing. If he's really interested in you, he will put effort into getting to know you. If you change yourself to meet another's expectations, it ususally leads to bad feelings down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
wjh Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Thanks Scott, although, to fill in an extra detail, it is questions about what equipments to get cos he's the more knowledgeable one, and so it's not like I'm changing myself to fit his expectations big like that (well, only to change my equipments to fit his advice, but this is a smaller way...) so i guess it's not big big favor to ask? ... But still... yeah, like you said, being mysterious sounds more favorable... but in this case, i really need someone to ask, and he's the best person i know, can I ask him without sounding annoying? Link to post Share on other sites
wjh Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Thanks Scott for your reply. Yes, i know what you mean, but in my case, i'm not like wanting to change myself to fit his expectations, not anything big like that, (well only to a small extent, cos i'm gonna follow his advice on what to get and prepare for the next trip, does that count?)... so... i guess it's only a small favor to ask (for advice on what to get for the trip), right? Cos I agree with you that "being mysterious" is the more favorable approach, but since he's the knowlegeable one, and the few people i know that can guide me with it, can i ask him without sounding annoying? Link to post Share on other sites
Scott70 Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Heh, Sorry I read too much into your post. Link to post Share on other sites
wjh Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 That's okay, just in terms of email etiquette and courting steps these kinda things, I'm fairly unfamiliar.... Link to post Share on other sites
jzlove Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 screw etiquette, life is short, people should just do whatever. but yeah... i admit too that i ponder too much sometimes on issues like this also, but so long its not a stressful pondering, it should be fine, sometimes its kinda fun to think things over too.. anyways, so yeah i know what you mean... good question you raised about the email etiquette, tho i don't think either that you suggested is preferrable, but is there someone who studied like Emily Post Etiquette that may answer your question on 'when and how to ask a friend for favor' is appropriate? Link to post Share on other sites
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