SarahJames Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I cannot believe how much I've let this man consume my life. I've enforced NC again (previously tried and failed), and he invades my mind even more when I do. It's the constant checking my phone, wondering if he's wondering about me, analyzing everything that has happened, everything that has been said, analyzing why things are the way they are...it's just so draining. I've spent my entire day in bed, on this site, stuffing my face, masturbating, crying, and not doing anything productive while I have TONS of work to do. It's ridiculous. How do you find the motivation to go about your life without this person? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahJames Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 I'm kicking myself now. Thanks, I needed that. The mind knows, but the heart wants what the heart wants... *sigh* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 My advice for this very moment would be to stay away from this site for a while. It makes it worse, in my opinion. it keeps it in the fore front of your mind even more so. It keeps you questioning and analyzing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GatsbyMH Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I cannot believe how much I've let this man consume my life. I've enforced NC again (previously tried and failed), and he invades my mind even more when I do. It's the constant checking my phone, wondering if he's wondering about me, analyzing everything that has happened, everything that has been said, analyzing why things are the way they are...it's just so draining. I've spent my entire day in bed, on this site, stuffing my face, masturbating, crying, and not doing anything productive while I have TONS of work to do. It's ridiculous. How do you find the motivation to go about your life without this person? Umm. Not to sound callous but seeing masturbation coupled into the rest of your woeful days events struck me as out of place so I may have laughed a little. Not that I disapprove but it just hit me a certain way. You have got to find distraction. Get out of the house. Shop, work, work out, whatever you can. When you continually check your phone or email, etc you are repeating bad behavior that helps to satisfy the nervous part of your mind. Find ways to break the routine up. It will get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I cannot believe how much I've let this man consume my life. I've enforced NC again (previously tried and failed), and he invades my mind even more when I do. It's the constant checking my phone, wondering if he's wondering about me, analyzing everything that has happened, everything that has been said, analyzing why things are the way they are...it's just so draining. I've spent my entire day in bed, on this site, stuffing my face, masturbating, crying, and not doing anything productive while I have TONS of work to do. It's ridiculous. How do you find the motivation to go about your life without this person? It sounds dramatic and exhausting. Not judging, but healthy relationships aren't supposed to be like that. Though LOL at the bolded part. So random! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I'm kicking myself now. Thanks, I needed that. The mind knows, but the heart wants what the heart wants... *sigh* Sometimes it takes a while for the heart to catch up. Hope this helps: How a Broken Heart Mends Herself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 today is day 2 of nc for me. i laid in bed, cried, watched tv, and posted here. i finally managed to eat. i wish i had work today. that way id have to force myself to act normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 My advice for this very moment would be to stay away from this site for a while. It makes it worse, in my opinion. it keeps it in the fore front of your mind even more so. It keeps you questioning and analyzing. This is true. I'm planning a hiatus myself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahJames Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 today is day 2 of nc for me. i laid in bed, cried, watched tv, and posted here. i finally managed to eat. i wish i had work today. that way id have to force myself to act normal. Day 2 for me too! Although, I don't think work would have helped me - I would have been too distracted by my feelings, ugh! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahJames Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 This is why the heart wants what it wants. It fits your situation quite well: The OM combination with a woman (married or single) with low self esteem is a match made in heaven. It sounds like a great romance because they compliment each other. The cheater OM is usually a man with low self esteem and insecurity that needs romantic conquests to feel validated. He seeks external validation by getting women in the sac. Over time these men learn to be charming and smooth; they have a knack for saying the right words to potential female lovers. Furthermore they can spot a woman with low self esteem seeking external validation one mile away. The female with low self esteem needs external validation and attention to feel good about herself and no one is better in providing attention and external validation than OM. The words of OM are very pleasant to a woman in need of attention. OTOH, if a woman is secure and with high self esteem the cheesy words of OM are nauseating. Women with good self esteem don't pay attention to cheaters. So in the end this is a match made in heaven with two insecure people providing validation to each other at all times. I can definitely see myself as being insecure, but I have a hard time picturing my MM as someone who is insecure...I just don't see how someone who has everything would need validation from the OW Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts