BrighterFuture Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Okay, so I'm about to ask a really cliche question, but I would appreciate any input anyway! I met a guy on an online dating site about a month ago whom I hit it off with. About a week after we started talking on the site we had our first date, which went really well! It a nice night out on the town and he took me to some of his favourite spots. We've had about 4 other dates since then. The second date was at a nice French restaurant, third date was at his place (yes, I did sleep with him), fourth date we went to an art gallery and then had brunch (no sex) and the fifth date he spontaneously booked a really nice hotel and we had dinner, some wine, and watched a movie and did end up hooking up. That was a couple of nights ago, and I'm scared he's losing interest or only sees me as a hookup. We've spoken/texted almost everyday since we met (save for a few days when he was away for business). The morning after the hotel date he left to go to his hometown for Thanksgiving weekend (Canada). We texted very minimally while he was traveling and a few hours later I texted him with my new phone number since I got a new phone, and also just saying that I hoped he got to *his home city* safely. I haven't heard back from him yet, but I know he's been online (on the dating site we met on) and he had also been tweeting. I know those things might be mutually exclusive, but I takes 2 seconds to send a text. I do not at all want to come across as needy so I'm not planning on texting him again. It's only been 24 hours, but I've had the disappearing act done on me before and it was one of the worst experiences I've had. I just want some honest opinions about what you guys think he's thinking. I'm 22 he's 27, if that at all helps. Confirmation that I'm overreacting would be great haha. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 I don't know if you're overreacting or not, but I'd try to establish exclusivity before you sleep with someone. By the time you're ready to have sex, the dating profiles should be gone. If that means waiting for a month or two, so be it. But I think it's awful to have to see someone "online" and looking - when you've just left their bed. Leave the ball in his court now. As you say, he has no excuse to not text, so the best thing you can do is let him take the lead. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrighterFuture Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 That's fair, and maybe I should have taken that route, but when we did end up sleeping together I was comfortable doing so. We did establish that neither of us were currently seeing other people, but did not establish that we would be exclusive. It wasn't so much that he was online that bothered me (since obviously so was I lol), more of the fact that he took time to go online but not to send me a quick text. I'll definitely give him his space and wait to see if he decides to text me. I think trying to reach out to him again will just push him further away. Guys like some sort of chase right? Or is it too late for that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrighterFuture Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Ok, s*** I caved. I saw was he was online again and sent him a funny text. I think I'm beyond the point damage control? That's it. NO MORE! Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Stop texting him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrighterFuture Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Holy crap, he actually replied to that text...Crisis averted! But I do need to calm my a** down lol. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 He's still online. ... My ex came forward and told me that he had taken his profile down on our first date. If a guy u meet online is into u, he'll take down his profile before or after he meets you. Sorry, but if I'm that into a person, I won't be looking elsewhere. And no it doesn't take more than one meeting to "know" if someone is special enough to rule out other options for. Link to post Share on other sites
odin673 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 He's still online. ... My ex came forward and told me that he had taken his profile down on our first date. If a guy u meet online is into u, he'll take down his profile before or after he meets you. Sorry, but if I'm that into a person, I won't be looking elsewhere. And no it doesn't take more than one meeting to "know" if someone is special enough to rule out other options for. Online dating is swimming in a shark tank. The guy might be keeping his options open in case it doesn't work out with BrighterFuture. He may also be jumping from fling to fling. Ask him to be exclusive next time you see him and see what he says. Better to learn his intentions sooner than later. Link to post Share on other sites
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