Plunging in

[all_fluttery]

Have you been tested for stds?

 

Have you told your husband the truth and given him a timeline?

 

So you have had sex in your home with your husband's boss!

You must really hate your husband to do that in your home. And you give all this energy to the POSOM that could be going to your kids and your husband!

 

Tell you husband, now. Get a divorce so that the boss can leave his wife and the several other women he has affairs with to be with you.

 

Would you like your husband now to have several affairs and give you several stds?

 

Give your husband his freedom, you do not deserve him. And spend the time with the old man and let your husband have custody of your children.

 

Then you and the old man can be as selfish as you want and it will only hurt your children and your husband.

 

Okay so you ripped your husband's heart out of his chest, set it on fire and took a bite out of it. Can you put it back in and fix this?

 

What were you thinking? Give him a divorce and let him find someone that will respect him and not someone that hates him and cheats in his own house! What did he do to make you hate him so that you would do this in your house? Would you like him to have an affair with someone in your bed?

 

I was not very polite in my first attempt to reply to this. I am sorry.

 

Have I told my husband? No. Has my boss? If he has my husband shows no sign of it. Am I going to tell him? That is what I am here trying to figure out.

 

Do I hate my husband? No. I am not happy with the current situation, but I do (believe it or not) respect him. Enough to keep this from happening? That is a good question. I guess the answer is no.

 

Are my kids suffering from my lack of attention? They are old enough to have lives of their own, or at least the start there of. The question might be how do I get them to slow down and give me some of their attention. LOL.

 

Tell my husband? That is something I am mulling over and trying to decide.

 

About my husband having affairs. Now that is tricky. I am not so sure he has not been. After all, he certainly likes being on the road, so to speak. I don't know if he has or has not been getting his dick wet somewhere else. If he has, is it not the old saying "What is fair for the gander is fair for the goose."

 

STDs is a serious consideration and that is what doctor visits are for. It is not something I am ignoring, husband's boss or no husband's boss.

 

Get a divorce and be with the boss full time? Why not just get a divorce and be with whom I want? I am trying to decide that, okay?

 

As for the boss being with others, if the situation is that he is a truly nice man and having sex with him is good, why deny others that? Maybe it brightens up their dull life too.

 

Ripped out my husband's heart ... puleeze. Put down the Victorian novel. This is cyber space, this is the year 2013. If I have to put on my girl panties about this, the least he could do is be expected to put on his big boy boxers.

 

This is an affair, it is not something world shaking like stopping Iran from getting nukes. It goes on every day in cities across the world.

[all_fluttery]

Wow, nothing good can come of this.

 

You could cost your H his job, which with or without you effects your kids security.

 

You need to get tested for stds and figure out why your offered him a bj. And further offered him sex. Is this your first A?

 

An A can be soul crushing and emasculating for a man, unless your H is a cuckhold. But to add the boss dynamic in, your going to rip his heart and soul from his body! that's a guarantee, not a chance.

 

NC immediately with MM, work on or leave your M, peruse something that will give you a sense of accomplishment so you can start to feel better about yourself.

 

ETA: The way the economy is these days, my husband could lose his job and have it be nothing to do with the affair. On the other hand, keeping the boss buttered up might just help him keep it. Who is to say which way it would go?

 

Stop humiliating your hard working H.

 

Thank you for posting your opinions. All these questions (minus the overlaying melodrama) are ones I am trying to address here.

Edited October 15, 2013 by all_fluttery
add sentences

[all_fluttery]

You gotta have the cowbell.

 

I am looking for one ... now where did that damn cow go?

[all_fluttery]

Wouldn't this belong in the infidelity section?

 

Well, yes it probably should. But I am the other woman here, so I guess it is a toss up. I decided to put on my big girl panties and just see where this does end up.

[all_fluttery]

You started this thread stating that you were happily married, and now you have a lot of superficial gripes, none of which is a good excuse to start sleeping with your husband's boss. You have put your financial future as well as your kids on the line. All because he was "nice".

 

How may happily married people are happy 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week? Is it unusual to have gripes about the way things are.

 

My financial future is on the line much more so by what those idiots in Washington are doing. Or not doing.

 

My kids are my responsibility and how they are affected is part of this. Ultimately that is my decision, however. I am not being smart, simply stating what is.

[all_fluttery]

I hope you are kidding. I only thank people I am not in a committed relationship with words from my mouth.

 

Do I need to put in big letters: "THIS IS A JOKE?" I will if that is what is required.

[LilGirlandOW]

 

(A). Why should I apologize to the boss? This condition is a part of me and living with what it sometimes causes me to do is part of that. Should a person who is in a wheel chair apologize for all the inconvenience it causes? Should a person with diabetes apologize because they have to take insulin?

 

(B). I do not normally go around offering bjs for no reason. That it happened is related to the fact I am not happy about the way things are. Is that an excuse? No. It does not excuse it. But it is a fact that part of the reason it happened is the condition I have. The thing is I am now trying to figure how to go from here, what I want to do from here on out.

 

©. In the history of the world, this is not the first time some employer has become involved with an employee's wife. With an employee or employee spouse, let's face it, it is going on a lot out there in the wide, wide world. It is not going to stop the earth from spinning nor is it something totally unexpected.

 

(D). The question becomes how do you give up great sex and simply go back to the mundane way you had been living? As the old saying goes, how do you keep them down on the farm after they have seen gay old Paree? Maybe I don't want to go back to the furrowed fields.

 

(E). The question also is can you straighten out a messed up situation without making it even more messed up?

 

 

(A). You shouldn't have to apologize to the boss, but phhuullleeeze stop comparing your rewarding kindness with bj and sex to your H boss to that of a paraplegic or. Diabetic. You don't say you give every nice person bj and sex, just your H boss. That is not a disability. Your using your never bad enough to be diagnosed or treated condition as gloss right now.

 

(B). You did it, not once but severL time because you wanted to, you chose to. You right you did it due to your condition, CakeEatingItis, a condition you're in complete control over, your AP isn't a man you've fallen in love with. Step one, stand up say "my name is ____ and I am a cake eater", no change is going to come when you make excuses for what's going on.

 

©. You should ask your H this. Never have I been so emotionally charged by an A story. I really do feel horrible for your H

 

(D). You give up cake eating see who's there for you in the end. Whatever your choice, being with the h boss can't be the answer.

 

(E). Everyone's easiest out is you leaving your H for non-his-boss :love: reasons, bury the D, H continues in career with SO who won't ***c the hand that feeds them. You can find somebody who better suits so. And H boss continues getting off on emasculating the minions below him in the food chain by ***cing their wives

 

Best of luck:love::love:

[all_fluttery]

WHAT?!! Some random woman will give him a blowjob??

 

I am afraid I do not know him well enough to say.

 

On the other hand, there are some random men who have benefited in times past that I know of ... but that is a story for another day.

 

(Joke, people, this is a joke.)

[all_fluttery]

You said you are happily married. Your profile says you are happily married. Now you are going back and saying "Oh no, I am a SAHM and my husband only sees me as a maid and sex object". Please. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you should be messing around.

 

Oh and so you are a SAHM, huh? And you think it was a wise decision to start sleeping with the person who writes your husband's paychecks? Who's money puts food on your table and buys your children clothes? Instead of being so defensive you should seriously reevaluate your decisions. You have really screwed things up, and big time. I hope for your family's sake that no one finds out about your selfish indiscretion. You are very mentally sick.

 

Has it not been said that one person's misery is another person's heaven?

 

Is happily married or not one of those black/white things? Is there not a lot of gray in between? And aren't there a number of happily married women out there eating at the buffet table?

 

By the way, smile when you call me mentally sick.

 

I have found that a lot of people who are supposedly very sane and normal do all sorts of things they shouldn't. I don't have any corner on that market.

[all_fluttery]

I realize I didn't really respond to all the points here. How is the relationship with my husband? Well, when he is here we speak politely. He asks me how things are going with me then proceeds to tell me all about his work. I tell him things that need to be done around the house and he tells me that he will get right on to it all and promptly does exactly none of them. I try and politely let him know that some sex would be nice and he promptly climbs aboard, does his thing for a couple of minutes, then rolls off and goes to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well gosh darnit, living proof of the myth you sometimes hear, that women don't always go for the looks, and nice guys sometimes do get ahead.

(That reminds me: We need your input in the thread on why women hate short men!)

All_fluttery: You have done good! OK, not so much in regards to your marriage perhaps, but still: Nice men who are potbellied, short and balding everywhere salute you! After reading this, they'll have an extra spring in their step tomorrow morning, will greet their coworkers a little more warmly, and perhaps stop to do a random act of kindness on their way home from work.

 

As a sorta nice guy who's neither older, potbellied or balding I'm left wondering where that leaves me, but that doesn't really matter, and I'm sure that few ****s are given.

 

So what about you? Well, there are kids is the marriage right? That kinda complicates things. If there weren't, I'd say that your marriage sounds kinda boring, get a divorce and move away.

 

But there are kids involved right? So do you want to stay? Do you love your husband? (To whatever degree you can bend that word)

 

I guess the best solution here would be that he changes jobs and you guys move, and live together happily ever after without anyone's feelings getting hurt, or anymore blowjobs given to other guys than your husband, no matter how nice they are.

 

Unless he's down with it of course. Maybe you could get really lucky, and it'll turn out that he's into cuckolding.

 

(Oh well. I suppose if somebody saves a kitten or small child, that could be the one suitable exception for the above. But only that. Surely not even hubby could argue with that.)

 

Honey, I am in the situation where sometimes I don't know why I do what I do, but one thing I do know is that for me it is not all about looks. If that means getting salutes from short pot bellied men, I will accept them. Since quote, unquote good looking women don't give them the appreciation they should, that just means more for me (Nothing wrong with being a little greedy, is there?) and someone more than willing to look in their direction, so to speak, is not so bad for them, surely.

 

Sorta nice works for me anyway. Can't be totally nice or else nothing would happen, right?

 

Seriously? Kids complicate any situation, normal or ones like these. Being a complication is what kids are good for. Whatever happens is going to revolve around their needs as well.

 

Part of me wants that this never happened, that things are the way they were or perhaps a little better. Part of me wants this to work out in a way that I get the good stuff without any bad (I know, dream on) and part of me just wants to end it and start something new.

 

I guess we'll just have to see how it goes. Possibly the best situation would be if my husband were okay with it. I don't see that happening outside of a Penthouse letter, but who knows?

 

And yes, a rescuer of a small child or kitten should be properly rewarded!

[Archanaart]

So, do you plan on telling your husband what happened? Continue seeing his boss? What's next for you?

[all_fluttery]

yes I think you need a;) lot;) of;) help;).

 

I am here looking for it, am I not?

[Criticality]

 

Honey, I am in the situation where sometimes I don't know why I do what I do, but one thing I do know is that for me it is not all about looks. If that means getting salutes from short pot bellied men, I will accept them. Since quote, unquote good looking women don't give them the appreciation they should, that just means more for me (Nothing wrong with being a little greedy, is there?) and someone more than willing to look in their direction, so to speak, is not so bad for them, surely.

 

Well best of luck to ya whatever you do.

 

If you want to end things, then I would be leaning towards ending them without disclosing the affair. Though you know the best how your husband would take it.

 

Say... have your husband ever mentioned anything about how it would be hot if you slept with other guys,mor anything like that?

 

Cause the best possible solution would probably be if it turns out your husband is into cuckolding. (Hey its more common than you think!) that way everyone could get to have their cake and eat it too.

 

Hey it's a real shame, isn't it? On cuckolding forums guy sit all day long and fantasize about how hot it would be if their wives ****ed the boss, and try to figure out ways to make them do that. And here we have a woman who's doing just that, but whose husband might unfortunately not approve.

[all_fluttery]

Your lack of accomplishments has you seeking validation that nobody but yourself can provide, no matter how many thank you bj you distribute.

 

No matter if you tell your H or not your H career at his current company will never be the same, the boss has degraded him to the maximum degree possible and the boss will keep that notion in his head and treat your H as a pathetic cuckhold, the boss looks at you as somebody he can easily use and abuse and that will ripple into how he treats your H in his job.

 

I don't know what you need to do aside from stop sucking off the H boss, or anybody you don't care for deeply.

 

Your H deserves to be empowered by a strong woman right now.

 

Stop hiding behind your Undiagnosed neuro conditions, speculate as you will, your behaviour is not typical of any of the disorders you mention.

 

All serious points here. Thank you.

 

First what if a bj is just a bj. I happen to enjoy giving bjs. Should I deny this fact? I will not hide behind my condition and say it is okay to give to others than my husband because of it. It is not. But I do enjoy giving bjs and my husband is not available that often. That is as far as I will go on that.

 

I worked through most of high school, waiting tables and the like. I worked before marriage and before children. I know careers and status changes a lot of times for many reasons. If you are talking about the dynamic between the boss and my husband, does that not more relate to the type of men they are? Does it not have a lot to do with what kind of man the boss really is? How much of that do I have control over?

 

Did I screw up? Yes. Is this a mess? Yes. How do I straighten it all out? Part of that answer depends on what I really want and that is what I am working on now. I am trying to figure out what I want and then I can work on how to get there.

 

As for sucking off anyone I don't care for, really (and I am not being a smart ass here, but) is it better or worse for something like this to happen with a total uninvolved stranger or someone that is known. At the very least, can't it be argued that a woman these days has a choice of who she chooses or does not choose to suck off?

 

Getting to where I am now handicapped with my condition, strong is something you have to be in order to survive. Forget about those torturers at Guantanamo Bay. You want to talk torture, talk about someone who is different in a pack of adolescents. Adults do not know how to torture someone half as well as a bunch of "normal" kids do. Fact of life. Live with it.

 

So in what way is it that I have to be strong for my husband and how is it assumed that is what he needs? How many husbands are there that can truly appreciate what a strong woman really is? How many husbands want a woman who can not only suck the chrome off of a bumper hitch but also coordinate paying all the bills, a full time job, and tear out the toilette to replace it with a new one? Or would they rather someone who is a little weak and dependent and not to mention a little submissive so that they do everything they are told with a big, big smile on their face. All while acting like a trained professional sex worker in bed? (By the way, where are the wives expected to learn those skills without practice, practice, practice?)

 

So what does being strong for my husband mean? Not giving into my needs while turning a blind eye to all it is that are his needs? Strong for my own self, or strong for the sake of his ego? I don't mean offense, just askin'.

 

Now I am not trying to hide behind my condition. What I am trying to point out is the handicap I operate under. Any normal person, facing a situation where they are going "That person is interesting, should I or should I not?" has the option to say something or not. They have the option to keep that thought to themselves. Most times so do I. But there are times when I blurt out what I am thinking, so that option has been taken away from me in that situation. It can be embarrassing as hell and totally humiliating. Just think in your own case, how many times it would have been the same for you because I am sure there are things you have thought that were not appropriate to the situation. It is called being human. So, close your eyes and try to imagine what it would have been like to say what you were thinking in one of those times, and where that path might have led you. That is all I am asking. Bare in mind that some times my days are complicated in ways that most people aren't.

 

eta: How many times to I have to say it: My condition is not Undiagnosed. I have been evaluated many times. If I sound a little snarky about this, I am sorry. But I have repeatedly said that. How many times do I have to say it?

Edited October 15, 2013 by all_fluttery
Add last sentences and blow off a little steam ...

[all_fluttery]

 

Well best of luck to ya whatever you do.

 

If you want to end things, then I would be leaning towards ending them without disclosing the affair. Though you know the best how your husband would take it.

 

Say... have your husband ever mentioned anything about how it would be hot if you slept with other guys,mor anything like that?

 

Cause the best possible solution would probably be if it turns out your husband is into cuckolding. (Hey its more common than you think!) that way everyone could get to have their cake and eat it too.

 

Hey it's a real shame, isn't it? On cuckolding forums guy sit all day long and fantasize about how hot it would be if their wives ****ed the boss, and try to figure out ways to make them do that. And here we have a woman who's doing just that, but whose husband might unfortunately not approve.

 

Thank you, Criticality.

 

Yes, if it turned out that the husband was not bothered, or at least willing to put up with a wife's silly shenanigans (Okay it is more serous than that but really ...) that would be the best.

 

Yes, I know this is some men's fantasies. Right now I am crossing my fingers that it turns out this way.

 

Hmmm ... nah, I don't there is much hope that it would be the boss's wife's fantasy also ...

 

Hugs Criticality.

[LilGirlandOW]

Ask your H if that is his fantasy.

 

After finding out about you, your H bosses W's fantasy is going to be having your H fired.

[all_fluttery]

I couldn't read past this:

 

"Is the boss attractive? It depends on your definition of attractive. A pot bellied man two inches shorter than I am who is going bald. No, he is not particularly attractive."

 

Just ick.

 

Sorry, I have no advice for your particular circumstance other than just do the world a favor and get on your meds and stop giving random dudes blowjobs.

 

For the pot bellied balding men of this world who happen to be nice guys and would be a pleasure to be with, I say "Phhhhbbbbbbbittttt" on your icky. It is not how good a man looks that makes him a good or poor person, makes him good in bed or poor in bed, it is what that person is. Look past the looks to see the man, then decide.

 

As for the meds, try an experiment. Go get yourself sleeping pills and spend about a week walking around feeling so drowsy you can barely stand up. THEN tell me to take my meds. That is about all that the meds I have been prescribed has done for me.

 

As for stopping the bjs to random men, I'll let the random men speak to that ...

[all_fluttery]

Ask your H if that is his fantasy.

 

After finding out about you, your H bosses W's fantasy is going to be having your H fired.

 

Yes exactly. That is a consideration and is part of why I am here flapping my gums about this issue. Hell yes I am scared as hell about the way this is most likely to play out. My game plan right now is to let sleeping dogs lie and tiptoe around things as much as I possibly can.

 

However husband's boss man with a nice erection could change that ... (I have to be honest about that.)

[all_fluttery]

Obviously nothing wrong with him being a nice guy to you, but, very unfortunate for your husband.

 

True. Very true. I realize all that I have done here is very unfortunate for my husband. On the other hand there are ways my husband could be nicer and my attention might be re-directed ...

 

Then again, maybe I am just a self-centered, selfish bitch. If so, I don't think I am in all that bad of company. LOL.

[Criticality]

Did I screw up? Yes. Is this a mess? Yes. How do I straighten it all out? Part of that answer depends on what I really want and that is what I am working on now. I am trying to figure out what I want and then I can work on how to get there.

 

Yes you did screw up. Overall though, in the big scheme of things, its peanuts so far. It might stay that way depending on how you deal with it.

 

Personally I figure that as imperfect as we all are, and considering the brief time we're here, people that screw up deserve a little compassion first and foremost.

 

For some reason, the people that talk the loudest about god, family, marriage integrity and so on, are often also the people that come down the hardest on screw ups of this kind.

It's like they skipped that part in the bible with Jesus and the prostitute, let he who is without sin cast the first stone and all that jazz.

 

Then again, I'm not religious, so maybe that's why it seems odd to me.

 

But let us know how it goes, and what you figure out! Good luck!

[all_fluttery]

Not if the woman puts in a little effort to educate herself and take her job seriously

 

 

 

Worthy? lol - being married is irrelevant, right? It's all about who is worthy of a blow job for fixing the pipes. I think that was a story line in about 800 porn movies, btw. In 'The Big Lebowski', it was fixing the cable, but it's the same thing really.

 

 

 

Somehow, I doubt that.

 

Honestly, I don't believe a word of this. Yesterday you were happily married. Today you are suffering. Today you are 'polite' to your husband. You have an unnamed disorder. You make a joke out of adultery.

 

And, in another post you mention not working because he doesn't want 'her' working. Her? Not many people refer to themselves as him or her. Sorry - this is all nonsense, and not the entertaining kind.

 

My guess is you found this website while surfing the web after a rough day at middle school and you're killing time until your mom comes home and tells you to clean your room.

 

Nice try. I'm going to go read another thread now, because she thinks this is fake. LMAO

 

I am a mixed up woman. So sue me. There are days I am happy being married. There are days I am less happy. Does being happily married mean everything is just perfect? If that is the case, then how many people are actually happily married.

 

Oh, about the pay. Does the phrase "A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought half as good and be paid half as much?" ring any bells. The fact remains that there are few places that pay men and women equally, then there is the situation that if she has to put her kids in daycare to work, no matter how much she makes she has that expense that most men do not.

 

Basically think whatever you will of me, real or fake. In return I will think whatever I will about you. I am what I am. What you think I am changes me not.

 

Have a nice day sir. Please come back and see us again soon.

Edited October 15, 2013 by all_fluttery
add the para about equal pay

[all_fluttery]

(A). You shouldn't have to apologize to the boss, but phhuullleeeze stop comparing your rewarding kindness with bj and sex to your H boss to that of a paraplegic or. Diabetic. You don't say you give every nice person bj and sex, just your H boss. That is not a disability. Your using your never bad enough to be diagnosed or treated condition as gloss right now.

 

(B). You did it, not once but severL time because you wanted to, you chose to. You right you did it due to your condition, CakeEatingItis, a condition you're in complete control over, your AP isn't a man you've fallen in love with. Step one, stand up say "my name is ____ and I am a cake eater", no change is going to come when you make excuses for what's going on.

 

©. You should ask your H this. Never have I been so emotionally charged by an A story. I really do feel horrible for your H

 

(D). You give up cake eating see who's there for you in the end. Whatever your choice, being with the h boss can't be the answer.

 

(E). Everyone's easiest out is you leaving your H for non-his-boss :love: reasons, bury the D, H continues in career with SO who won't ***c the hand that feeds them. You can find somebody who better suits so. And H boss continues getting off on emasculating the minions below him in the food chain by ***cing their wives

 

Best of luck:love::love:

 

Thank you for your responses.

 

Seriously. I will consider them.

[all_fluttery]

Haha. Hey, maybe your husband gets a lot of these random 'thank you' blow jobs for, oh, holding the door at a convenience store, or maybe helping a woman change a tire.

 

That's fine, right Mrs. Allfluttery After all, that's an appropriate 'thank you'.

 

Maybe I should ask him about this random blow job issue. However I think full blown intercourse should be available for tire changing, that is a LOT of work.

 

Hey, I have heard a number of people say that a bj is more intimate than a handshake and less intimate than a pat on the back. Shrug. People have different thoughts on this.

 

However, I refuse to wear sackcloth's and ashes because I screwed up about this. Or for that matter shave my head and paint a big red "A" on my forehead. That would be a bit much, don't you think?

[all_fluttery]

Oh, about the middle school crack above ... show me one that can string three sentences together without using text-speak or abbreviations.

[wanting more]

What, this is never happened to you? Perhaps if you tried being nice, once, just to see what happens.

 

 

Are you really serious???

 

I consider myself a nice person. And lots of people are nice to me. I normally just say "thank you". Not "let me give you a blowjob".