BJ Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Hi all I spent thanksgiving with my ex and felt things went well. she did tell me not to get my hopes up, her feelings have changed. So we were close and affectionate hugs kisses and pictures, it felt good. when we were leaving she told me thanks and said she will call me. I told her that i loved her and that I knew she still loved me and she said she did. to make a long story short her sister contacted me shortly after and said that she had talked to her and said that she did not see herself getting back together with me anytime soon. the whole family loves me and does not want her to be with anyone else. we were together almost 5 years and i as well as her made some mistakes. there was no abuse and no cheating on either end just other issues. her sister said she thinks she will come back but i need to leave her be right now for a while. her sister said that she needs to miss me. my question is this. I feel that the longer we go w/o talking the further away she is going to drift. is this true or false. can it be that she just wants space and time because of everything going on in her life or does she really want me out of her life for good. she said she will call me soon. what does all this mean and what can i possibly do to get another chance with her. I love her so much and miss her more each day. I will be thankful for all advice on helping to understand this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
aarsky Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 It's hard not to be or talk with someone that you love all the time. People need thiewr own space at times to figure themselves out. It took my friend eight months for his love to come back. It's so hard to do, but it will make you and her both stronger people to move to the next level with your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 i agree with aarsky. basically in in the same situation as urself so this post wil help me also with peoples advice so tahnks as people will tell you..there is always a chance as nothin is impossible. its a matter of time when you will know whats goin on..it will hurt at times but thats when you have to pull urself out of that whole that you create for urself because we can all control our emotions i we try. remember, that our mind is the greatest thing we have..in unison with our heart, we can do many things. stay positive and dont get stuck into a state of unhappiness as that will not help ur health. i think she does want her tiem and space so give it to her..it doesnt have to be to the point where u cut her off completely..jsut let tiem pass before u start doin so and feel confident. this has happened to other friends as mine also..and the tiem really varies if they do get back together. its ranged from weeks (which dont work), to a couple mths(2 or 3) , to over a year. i would think by a year though that enough has happened in between time that u may even discover u dont want to..or even u may, time will tell in either case. hopefully she is bein sincere in her request for time and space and wont go all crazy as i hope in my situation also, but we cant really control taht so lets understand taht and not put the breaks on our life. Link to post Share on other sites
Cabras Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Your situation sounds similar to what I went through last year with my ex. I'm not trying to get your hopes up too much, but she was back in less than a month. She really loved me and just wanted a break to collect her feelings. There was no other people involved. She also said those words to me "I don't see us getting back together" I don't know what you have discussed in that area, but I have to say that taking a break when others aren't involved isn't the worst thing in the world. She made it clear that she wouldn't be seeing other people yet. I was waiting for her to date other people, but she came back instead. -best wishes in your situation Link to post Share on other sites
smile Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 How long were you apart before thanksgiving? Was there space in between and then you went to thanksgiving and now she wants more space? Is that right? I am just asking. As I see it you must be pretty special to her for you to come to thanksgiving. I think she may be mixed up. I agree with her sister, have her miss you. You don't have to fall off the face of the earth, just be busy once in a while. I am not a fan of the faking busy tho.. because then you sit there with nothing to do and worry about what she is thinking (I tried that, more emotional chaos than its worth). Plan things.. with friends, days in advance. Don't leave nights open hoping she will call and want to talk right then. It's hard to not always be there. I know. I have a very hard time saying no to my ex... but I know when I am busy he gets kinda pouty and wants to see me more the next time. I know it's hard but try to busy yourself and not worry too much about what will happen romantically. You are so lucky to have her in your life at all... and you seem happy about it. Allow yourself to be happy. Just wait for her to call you.... and breathe Link to post Share on other sites
BJ Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I want to thank all of you who have responded to my post. You have all helped me more than you know and have given me at least a little hope for a future with the woman i love more than anything else in the world. Please all keep giving me advice and opinions. thanx again for all your time and help. Link to post Share on other sites
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