Commitment phobia?

[Restored24]

Last September I met an amazing guy.

He fit everything I was looking for we went on dates talked about anything and everything and by November we were already in love.

I'm his his first everything when I say everything I mean it.

I've had my share of relationship problems and he washed all of them away I had and still have no worries with him. He's perfect. We wanna make babies talking about being married all of that....

However late may It started to settle in that we were still together considering this is my longest relationship, I got nervous was questioning everything and I chilled out..next thing I know I find myself upset at him for no reason and flirting with other guys..it hit me at that moment that things went way too fast for me and I needed space although we kept in contact still, I did a little soul searching, explored a bit and realized one night with my friends that I miss the stability the comfort good guys are hard to find etc I just wanna be mature and fight for this love because it's truly special. So we agreed to just keep dating just without a title...and my love for him grew more than before..I guess I needed the distance..we ended up outing the title back on

 

Fast forward to September and I leave for work and work requires me to be gone for three weeks and I'm living with other people on the same field as me.

While I'm there I discover so much about my wants and needs and I grow a little but I also met someone who I became find of who was also in a relationship..in the end we both decided to stop flirting because we both know we weren't going to ruin what we already have..I get home I tell my man what happened but I reassure him he's fine with it although he's missing me and he's super upset..I feel horrible..as I spoke to him he was mentioning moving in together and it hit me hard that I don't wanna think about that..I feel older than I am..

I realize again that things feel rushed , I'm noticing more guys and I don't feel bad...right now I'm afraid of cheating and it don't wanna hurt him because he's an amazing guy..

I love him but I know deep down I'm over it

 

Help?

 

Sorry for typos

[bluechocolate]

.....but I know deep down I'm over it

 

Tell him now & let him get on with his life.

[PegNosePete]

right now I'm afraid of cheating

What? How can you be afraid of this? That's like saying you're afraid of robbing a bank, or of speeding in your car, or of murdering someone. It's not something to be afraid of, it's a CHOICE you make. Are you not in control of your actions?

 

It doesn't sound like there's much of a future to your relationship. You don't seem ready to settle down. Maybe you should break up and play the field a bit more, first.

[Zahara]

I'm noticing more guys and I don't feel bad...right now I'm afraid of cheating and it don't wanna hurt him because he's an amazing guy..

I love him but I know deep down I'm over it

 

He's an amazing guy, and you won't let go because you want to have the best of both worlds. You want that stability, but at the same time you want what's out there. It isn't fair. It's selfish.

 

And if you feel you have some sort of emotional flaw, get help and sort it out before you keep roping men into your life. All you'll continue doing is getting phobic and hurting people. You want to stew in your mess and drag others in with you.

 

I've been your boyfriend. I know what it's like to be involved with someone that has your emotional mindset. Cheating while claiming to love me. It's the worst betrayal. And if it's already crossing your mind, it will happen. Spare him the heartache.

 

Do the right thing. Be honest. And if you want to be mature, start now.

Edited October 14, 2013 by Zahara

[Restored24]

Thank you guys..tough love is needed for me