groom to be Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Okay. I asked my girl of 5 years to marry me. But....Everyone (family, Friends) has been asking, "so when's the engagement party?" and individual friends and family have been asking to take us to dinner to celebrate or asking to throw us a party. Honestly, we never even thought about it. We were totally unaware of Engagement Parties. Would it be okay to have something at our house and Invite People, friends, fam? I mean, That's what we'd prefer to do. But We're just not too sure of how to do it and if having a little get-together at our house with some fun food and drinks would be the way to go. Is it suppose to be formal, fancy? Does it matter? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 The best possible way to do it is... ...invite all your friends and family over for a reception or tea or cocktail party, or even dinner if you want to go crazy, but DON'T tell them it is your engagement party. Just announce it at the event. That way, you take the pressure off of guests to provide you with gifts, and everyone can focus on congratulating you and asking whether and when you intend to have children. And do skip the fussy favors, elaborate invitations, idiot games, etc. Just have a get-together in your favorite style. Or none at all...it is by no means required. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 How long til you guys wed? I personally find it irritating that people want engagement parties and wed a couple months later, only to expect a wedding present too. I'm only giving one gift, but that's just me. I'm about to get married (in 6 days!!) for the second time and neither of mine had an engagement party, just a wedding reception type deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 We never had an engagement party. What we did do though, was once we announced our wedding party we had a get together with them and their partners so that they could all meet. It was very low-key and a lot of fun to be surrounded by your best friends. It made the wives/husbands of our wedding party feel way more comfortable at the wedding because they knew people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author groom to be Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 Thanks Friends, see that's the thing. We find it kind of Silly that everyone wants to throw us a party or take us out to dinner. I mean, We haven't even set an exact Date yet. We've called and told our parents and close friends about it and shared that were hoping to do it a year from now, but were still saving $$ and planning, no exact date. Anyway, I don't want to be rude to people, but I just wanted to ask y'all if having something as small as a pizza and movie party at our apartment to have fun and just announce it, is too cheesy(no pizza pun intended) or too "Un-Classy". We really don't want people making a big deal about it, til the actual wedding is near. But our friends and family are acting like "how could you not announce it to everyone and celebrate?" Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I think pizza is fine, but I would make it pizza and champagne. It is really most tasteful to entertain in your own authentic style, with generous hospitality appropriate to your circumstances. And like tiki said, people can get annoyed at multiple gift expectations, so it is best if you avoid the "expectation" of a gift by not announcing the purpose of the party. Link to post Share on other sites
Author groom to be Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 okay cool. yeah. i dig, i dig. Pizza and Wine and Champange. Some fun movies, Some good music, See our new place, then...Announce the Engagement. Thanks all. We're not out to get gifts. We just don't want to let our Interested and exited family members and friends feel left out or feel like we don't care. We didn't call every single person we know to tell them. The word sort of spread around and then everyone started calling saying "How come you didn't tell me, Let's Celebrate!" So something Lo-Fi is what we were thinking. Maybe even a Christmas party then announce it. We don't wanna come out and invite people to OUR ENGAGEMENT party. We're not out for gifts. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Have a barbeque or something. My fiance and I are heading to Hawaii to get married. We've both been married before, so we wanted it very low-key. We had a hawaiian luau where everyone dressed in there hawaiian attire and ate bbq. BUT....this is probably your first. And of course we know you're not out just to get the gifts...silly! So I say something low-key, a get-together. Then announce it. I hate all that foo-fooey crap. Does anyone really like that crap?! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Awe that sounds like so much fun. Pizza, wine, best friends. So your throwing a Christmas get together and then BOOM..saying were getting married..lol Thats so cool. I like the lo-key thing too. You'll get plenty of gifts at the wedding lol..and then babyshower..er wait to fast there huh? lol Awe I'm happy for you guys Congradulations!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I like the BBQ idea myself depending on how many people attend it might be cheaper plus people always bring food and beer the men can chat cook and drink beer and the ladies can do the wedding talk. Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 When I got engaged a few years back...we never had an engagement party... I got alot of cards in the mail and congratulations from everyone..but we never had a party. I was just going to wait until my shower. I agree with what someone else said on here...why should people bring gifts to an enagement party AND a shower... AND a wedding.. LOL Thats what the shower is for...celebrating someone getting married... Hope I made sense. But you do what you want...Ive been to an enagement party before years ago...I didnt see a point of it. Link to post Share on other sites
groom to bee Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Hey ALL!! Well, This past weekend we all sort of gathered at my Grandmother's house for a small little birthday for an uncle and as a surprise, They also threw me and fiance a toast and a few aunts and uncles gave me and My girl some cards (2 with money in it) and gave a big congratulations and even got us a cake. It was totally a surprise and we were embarassed and happy!! So we sort of feel off the hook now, until a bridal shower comes around. I appreciate all of your notes of insight and advice. It came in real handy. - Link to post Share on other sites
tigerskye Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 As a bridal consultant: A engagement party is not necessary. It is totally up to the couple. If you and your finace decide not to have a engagement party then no one should think you are bad for not doing it. It is your choice and if you don't want to then you should not have to! Though you may want to make sure you announce the engagement publicly. Usually people do this in the local newspaper or by sendig engagement announcements to friends and family! Link to post Share on other sites
tigerskye Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 BTW: for everyone info, Etiquette books point out that bride and groom should not expect engagement gifts. Engagements party are held to get friends and family together to celebrate the soon to be wedding of the couple. So if you go to one it is not bad etiquette to not take a gift and bride and groom should not ever request or expect gifts(that is bad etiquette) Link to post Share on other sites
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