bluebirdsofpeace Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I've fallen out of love with my husband. We got married on the spur of the moment and the next day I started to have regrets. He's a great guy and has done everything I've asked of him, but I feel really lonely on the inside and wish I could be alone. Since I've already said my vows and got married, I know I'm obligated to try to make it work. However, I feel like I'm falling further from him everyday and also know he deserves to be with someone who is as in love with him as he is with me. When we got married, I told him I wanted kids. Now I've changed my mind. I hate what I've done with my life and I can't imagine raising children with my negative attitude. I hate having sex and just stare at the ceiling waiting for it to be over. I realize through this experience I'm a complete jerk, a bad person, I'm not very smart, and nobody would want to be married to me. I don't want to remarry or date anyone, I just want to move back in with my family. I guess there's not much advice to be given to me besides be honest and sensitive to his feelings, but I'm still having a hard time leaving. I'm really afraid of trying to break the news to him (again). Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Well, if you got married in the spur of the moment, you could always get a divorce, no? If you both has invested many years in the relationship I'd say to stay and work on it, but that's not the case here. It really does sound like you're suffering from depression? Have you thought about seeing a doctor for that, or a therapist? You might see things differently in six months if you do that. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 How old are both of you and how long did you date before the spur of the moment wedding? What are your relationship histories like? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluebirdsofpeace Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 He doesn't want a divorce. We dated for almost two years before getting married. We fought a lot and I thought if we could stop fighting I'd want to stay with him. We have stopped fighting, and now of all times I realize I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't think he would give me a divorce, even if I left him for a long period of time. He's really attached to me and I'm not entirely sure why because I am very boring and irritating to be around. I do have a medical diagnosis of depression. I take medicine and it helps. I think all of his past relationships have failed due to sleeping around with a lot of women. I've been in many long relationships and I've left them all due to lack of interest. I'm in my mid-20s and he's in his mid-30s. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 "Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure: Married in haste, we may repent at leisure." William Congreve - 1693 Persnonally, I think people need to "earn" their way out of marriage, particularly in situations like yours when there are no indications of abuse, addictions, or affairs. First step I'd take if was you would be to clearly identify and spell out why you feel the way you do, and work on fixing your end of it. If you don't, it sounds like you're going to keep on repeating the same behavior in future relationships even if you go foward with the divorce. Both of you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I don't know. What are you looking for out of relationships? I think it's interesting that you want to move back home at this age. It's like you haven't grown up (especially when you said you left all your previous relationships due to the lack of interest). Are you in therapy as well as taking medications? Medications do not help in correcting irrational thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 It sounds like pretty classic case of symptoms of depression to me. If you do divorce and be alone, these feelings you're having will likely still be there. I'd suggest individual counsilling to figure your depression out. I've noticed a lot of people that do go to counselling often don't do the required "excersizes" that their doctors tell them to do, and simply go and talk for an hour once a week and think it'll make things better. It wont. The excersizes are the most important part. That's just my opinion based on the limited info given. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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