volley Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I am new at being/having fwb. When going into this he informed me that he is not ready or looking for a relationship and I agreed because I wasn't ready either. He's still isnt over his ex wife in which they divorced a yr ago. Me I wasn't over my ex. But I'm finally over my ex and ready to date. I am finding myself liking my fwb. But I have finding myself trying to hold back because he stated that if I hangout and being to have feeling for him and always ask to hang he will stop everything. I don't know if I should stop texting him there, just be a fwb and see how it goes, or bring my wall down and show him more feelings? He is a man that I could see myself with for a long time and he's very caring and respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Hoping he will change to have romantic feelings for you as well is a huge risk and unlikely to happen. Yes, it can and does happen sometimes, but he may simply not be ready anytime soon, or he may have reservations about you in some way that would preclude a relationship. I suggest you honestly tell him what you are beginning to feel and what you want. He will probably break things off, but there is a chance he won't. You are far better off knowing his decision on this than trying to carry on and hide your feelings. You could be wasting a great deal of time on a dead end FWB when you could be out seeking someone who you can love and who will return your love. I very much like and have enjoyed several FWB relationships, and have always been very clear on our expectations and current status. None have become "more" than originally intended. Even so, I deeply liked my FWB, they were true friends, and I was happy for them when they moved on and found someone to love. We never went beyond true liking and respect as friends, plus lust. Romantic love was not a factor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 ...he stated that if I hangout and being to have feeling for him and always ask to hang he will stop everything. He's told you how it is so believe him. Link to post Share on other sites
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Nikki Sahagin Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I would be honest about your feelings. Yes, it might cause the fwb to stop but that would probably be in your best interests. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I would just be honest and tell him. Good chance he's going to just end the FWB situation, but this is a better outcome than hiding your feelings, falling in love with him, and becoming even more invested than you are now. He told you straight up from the beginning how this was going to go down. Sex. Nothing more. Don't think that if you stay, you're going to get him to fall in love with you. He put you in the FWB category from the beginning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author volley Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Update So I finally told him how I felt and he was ok with it. I asked him if he could see myself as his type he would date. He stated he didn't have a type and he wouldnt know because he is not looking for a relationship nor ready. I told him I understand.We are still good friends and are taking a break from the benifit part. Because he told me had also has another fwb besides me and I broke it off because I don't want something. Yet do use protectiom. Its just not right. I understand we all got to have fun these days. Link to post Share on other sites
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