Bad situation...which way out

[Anno]

This is a very difficult situation, and I probably know the answer...but I'm not sure which way to turn.

 

I met this guy back about a few years ago. There was always something shady about him but I thought I was just being a bit silly. After a while I found out he was engaged but he was actually engaged to his cousin and that being his first cousin as well (something that his family arrange when he was 16 and they are very backwards still getting them married in the family) he then demised and got the girl to lie and say it was all a lie. So I let it go and believed him. So things went back to how they were. I then got a phone call so many months later and it was from her asking me if I was still with him and that she was still engaged to him. I then confronted him about this and he told me it was all true but he didn't want to marry her because he didn't believe in that. He said he wanted to be with me. He confronted his family and they said they would never accept because of my religion, so he left home and left his business to be with me.

 

Things were hard. I was working to survive for both of us. He wasn't getting a job and nor was he looking. He soon started to become distant with me and then ended up not talking to me. I rang him everyday constant but he didn't answer and he carried on ignoring me. That's when I made the biggest mistake I could ever make. I ended up sleeping with someone else. A week or so later my boyfriend started speaking with me again, we then went away and he went through my phone and found out what I did. I apologised and told him how much I regretted it and that I only want to be with him and only see my life with him. He then came back to mine that night and acted like nothing happened. But he then changed and started swearing at me everyday constantly for no reason.

 

At this point 2 months later he moved back home with his family. And went back to being normal with me. And everything went back to how it was. He then told me his family were getting him married to someone back home but he didn't want to. We went away on holiday we did everything. I then got a call and found out he was getting married to the girl he was rigt at the start his cousin. I confronted him again and he started crying and telling me he doesn't want to do it he wants to marry me he loves me he wants to have kids with me and he only wants me.

 

He then got married and came back and told me he loves me he wants me the same that he said before. The swearing then started again but worse. One of the things he said was 'I'm worse than a prostitute and that he hopes I get raped'...he said it was all my fault that he got marred because of what I did. He didn't want to but he didn't have a choice. He then says to me he wants a family with me. He can't live without me. He only wants me. He doesn't want to be with her but he doesn't have a choice. He says he doesn't love her.

 

I do believe that he loves me and wants it all with me. I really don't know what to do. I don't know which way to turn. We have been through so much and I know the love is real. I made such a big mistake and I regret it deeply but I'm now in a situation where I don't know which way to go.

 

Any ideas....

[bentleychic]

His actions do not show that he loves you. The way to go is OUT.

 

Good luck

[Anno]

No not in the US. In England. But he's Muslim and they seem to do that kind of stuff Which I don't seem to understand why.

 

So even though he's telling me he wants to be with me it's best to just walk away. Knowing the situation would you say I am the one to blame in all this that it is all my fault and that in his words I deserve to suffer...?

[nescafe1982]

Walk away from this one OP. Not only is he now married, but he's also an incredibly mean-spirited person who could become abusive.

 

Best to count your blessings and move on to someone who treats you with respect.