I Need Help: Friends to Lovers!

[DanMage1]

Hey Everyone,

 

I need help with this situation:

I am in high school, gr. 12 and I have known this girl (Call her S for now) for 1 and a half years. We have 'gone out' to the movies, for dinner, to each other's houses, but as friends. I want to take the relationship from friends to the next level. A year ago or so, we both agreed it would be kinda better to just be friends, and I was fine with it. Recently my thoughts have developed into love I think. So I have decided to actually ask her out this christmas. She agreed to going for dinner at a classy restaurant in downtown for xmas, and I plan to ask her out there. I have also bought a gift for her (a diamond heart pendant) to accompany my asking her out. There's one catch though, just today as I was driving her home, S said that she is beginning to see some guy (Blake) and is excited to have a first boyfriend. Personally, I don't know know if she will accept my request to go out and maybe even think the pendant is some kind of way to 'buy her'. Also, her parents know me quite well now and I find it easy to talk to them (easier than to S) and I think they like me alot! Can someone give some advice on what to do, if I should go ahead and ask S out (I don't know about Blake...), or just suck it in and hope I have better luck with another girl?

 

Thanks so much,

Dan

[OC Surfer]

Dan,

Well...it seems as though we have been in the very same situation. I, too, fell for a close friend and I would like to say that it turned out good...but it didn't. Don't get me wrong...I am not trying to crush your hopes, but you do need to be aware that sometimes things do not always turn out the way we intended. I can't help but notice the fact that you two had agreed to be just friends. It seems to be that she has kept up on this end...while you have taken it a bit farther. Trust me, friend, I have been in those shoes and it is definitely a complicated dilemma. However, don't let my story get you down. If you feel that strongly about the girl...and feel that there may be a good chance that she may forget about this other guy and jump at the chance to go out with you...then by all means...go for it!! It seems as though you have a close bond with her...and her parents (which is important...trust me). I encourage you to follow your heart. If you feel so strongly that you feel that you could burst if you don't ask her...then make the occasion extra special and go for the gold, so to speak. But, remember...friends are just friends for a reason. While you feel one way, it does not guarantee that she feels the same way. From my own personal experience, my friend did not return my love and since then...our relationship has really taken a turn for the worse. Think this over...if your plans do not go well and the friendship falls to pieces over this situation...would you rather have this girl as a good friend, or not have her at all? Just something to think about. Dude...best of luck with the whole thing!!