emva07 Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Ok, so lately I've been seeing in a lot of movies/shows kids who are being bullied by the popular kids.... Eventually the bullied child punches them in the face or what have you. Next scene is the kid who hit in the office, the parents are being questions as to whether there are problems at home, etc etc, even a psychologist is recommended. My question is.....what happens to the bullies?....if anything they have bigger issues that need to be addressed. Is this the way it truly happens in real life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Well my little guy had a bully last school year. Our first ever encounter with one and I hope its the last:laugh:The bully per say, was saying very inappropriate things to my child and as I've come to find out, others as well. One thing that was said was so bad, that it prompted my child to take a walk down to the school counselor. I commend him for doing that. He knew not take it up with the bully but take it to the right person. I did receive a call and without going into details as I feel I would give away to much personal info, I'm just going to say the word GUN was mentioned. This was coming from a second grade boy. The parents were called to the school on this one. As it turns out, the child has issues but the mother is in denial. Anyway, what my child and I learned is this. The best way to get a bully off your back is to take away their power. And that's just what my kid learned how to do. Its too bad bullies exist. Overall, they may talk big, thrive on excluding people as well as judging but inside they are just cowards looking for attention. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Document everything to cover your ass. Bullies [in all walks of life] will generally get away with more than normal ppl will [much more]. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 the parents are being questions as to whether there are problems at home, etc etc, even a psychologist is recommended. Haha, no....s*** I was in a few scraps back in school, bit of a hot head, if the called the psyciatrics in everytime they'd of locked me up by now It's more a "I know you meant well Alfie but next time you need to tell a teacher not self-police, now shake and make up" spill! Anyway I'm a massive believer in, and will always tell my kids to, hit back! Dnt care if it's nt politically correct or whatever, life ain't fair, this worlds rough, I'm sorry it's that way but it is. I would never ever ever condone my kids bullying, but I am 100% behind taking measures to stand up or themselves! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author emva07 Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 (edited) Haha, no....s*** I was in a few scraps back in school, bit of a hot head, if the called the psyciatrics in everytime they'd of locked me up by now It's more a "I know you meant well Alfie but next time you need to tell a teacher not self-police, now shake and make up" spill! Anyway I'm a massive believer in, and will always tell my kids to, hit back! Dont care if it's nt politically correct or whatever, life ain't fair, this worlds rough, I'm sorry it's that way but it is. I would never ever ever condone my kids bullying, but I am 100% behind taking measures to stand up or themselves! Agreed. I never hit anyone but if I got a call from my kid's (i don't have one) school about him/her hitting a bully, I wouldn't be too mad. I once told on a few girls, we all had a meeting at the counselor's office....I think they teased me about "snitching" and being a baby for a while but I think it died down. My mom was hardcore, if I ever told her kids were picking on me, she'd confront them herself...or their parent. Even in college when my suitemates were making my life a living hell my mom called the housing office and said "i am not paying this ridiculous amount of money on my child's education just to have these crazies not let her focus on what really matters, HER SCHOOL WORK" They had me moved in less than a week, lol. It just makes me mad how every movie/show nowadays glamorizes bullies, and when the victim hits back....the kid is seen as some problematic future psychopath/murderer that is a danger to society and I think to myself "what about the one that was making his life a living hell???? Where is their punishment??? How is the school allowing them to go unpunished to strike again??? There is no thought given into the damage that the BULLIES are causing to the victims....just on to how the victim reacts. Edited October 16, 2013 by emva07 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Emva, Personally I don't see how hitting back solves anything. A bully wants to generate a response. It only adds fuel to the fire. Now do I want my kid to be a whimp and not defend himself? No! But I think there are healthier ways to accomplish this without taking a fist to another human being. I don't necessarily see how the kid that does strike back is seen as a crazy person. It is self defense in a way, but with a bully the key GIVE them NO power!! Another point, conflict to a degree is good for kids. But, finding healthy ways to manage that conflict is key. Just an added thought . Mea :-) Link to post Share on other sites
sabre80 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Haha, no....s*** I was in a few scraps back in school, bit of a hot head, if the called the psyciatrics in everytime they'd of locked me up by now It's more a "I know you meant well Alfie but next time you need to tell a teacher not self-police, now shake and make up" spill! Anyway I'm a massive believer in, and will always tell my kids to, hit back! Dnt care if it's nt politically correct or whatever, life ain't fair, this worlds rough, I'm sorry it's that way but it is. I would never ever ever condone my kids bullying, but I am 100% behind taking measures to stand up or themselves! I never hit back. I was so skinny and my bullies always tended to roam in packs. So if I did not get pre-emptive strike I got none. The weak little lackies would hold me while the ringleader would hit me. I got my ass kicked all the time but never bullied by the same bully twice. Emva, Personally I don't see how hitting back solves anything. A bully wants to generate a response. It only adds fuel to the fire. Now do I want my kid to be a whimp and not defend himself? No! But I think there are healthier ways to accomplish this without taking a fist to another human being. I don't necessarily see how the kid that does strike back is seen as a crazy person. It is self defense in a way, but with a bully the key GIVE them NO power!! Another point, conflict to a degree is good for kids. But, finding healthy ways to manage that conflict is key. Just an added thought . Mea :-) Wrong. Bullies pick on the kids who wont do anything. Telling teachers does nothing but fuel the fire. Punch a bully in the nose and it will hurt him enough that he will find a weaker target unwilling to risk getting beat up. Problem is you always get beat up. Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Wrong. Bulkies pick on the kids who wont do anything. Telling teachers does nothing but fuel the fire. Punch a bully in the nose and it will hurt him enough that he will find a weaker target unwilling to risk getting beat up. Problem is you always get beat up. Nah. Speaking from what I've seen give them no power. Bullies want to get a rise out of a person. Just speaking from what I learned with my little guy. He walked away and the kid turned to someone else, although I feel for the other kid he turned too. Sad bullies exist. My guess is, a bully has issues in his or her home life or, perhaps there is something fundamentally wrong with them. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) yes it emya, it is life was in the office with a two hour talk last week actually, my daughter is 16 and four foot nine .......she is in a school already for kids at risk , bullied most of her school life due to impairment, speech and other wise, she is the shortest girl at the school..this girl targeted her,..last week, she was targeted all day by this one girl who is a bully, who has issues herself,my daughter was taunted to fight ....over and over again.......this bully girl has a habit of getting girls down and kneeing them in the face my daughter, felt it was coming she was against a fence facing off with her....... so she pre empted and said yeah had enough and started throwing punches.....the bully girl got her down against the fence and to get back up my daughter hung on to the girls shirt and ripped it trying to get back up so she would not get a knee to the face...she was asked to replace the shirt btw... my daughter was supported by others standing around the both of them who wanted to watch a fight.......a couple those standing around had actually instigated the whole episode...... when i went to the meeting i had heard a version of the story supplied by my daughter...i heard the whole thing when i was in the office..... my daughter threw the first punch......it was being riled up by a group of girls keeping the fight going and that girl who is actually a bully was surrounded, taunted and my daughter was in there teaching her a lesson...... sound good....bully cops it...NOT AT ALL...want to know where it all started freaking facebook...... my daughter should have never thrown a punch.....those girls shouldnt have stood around riling it up and that tough girl who was being taught a lesson....has had many lessons taught to her in her small life...... a whole file full........my daughter then became a bully....... and it took a while for her to see that ...it was all wrong not just one all of it....the whole thing from start to finish wrong...my girl took responsibility for her actions the bully girl not so much....... when the teachers told me the bully girl, she was surrounded and trying to stand up for herself and i knew it was my daughter in there...i felt sick..... because once when i was a girl i was the girl getting beaten by a boy surrounded by cheering and yeah hit her smash her again...all i did was stand up and take another hit......and it was painful emotionally and physically for me to do that...i kept standing up till i couldnt......i never got hit after that particular incident...never again by kids at my school...i refused to fight.......refused to hit or protect myself.....when we were in that meeting i got a flash back....a physical one.......i looked at my daughter and i said to her......do you remember what i todl you sarah .....about bullies school and me....she looked at me and started to cry...she said i am not like you mum...i know i was wrong...........she knew she had turned into the bully and that nearly broke her heart.... Any form of fighting is wrong .......bullying is wrong....but what you hear might not be what actually happened....to hit someone first to allow others to stan dand watch and cheer to teach someone their place in the school of whipped dog............not on.....i dont condone hitting first.....i do understand self defense...........i wanted to stand up for my daughter believe me, i went in there ready to go to war adn that can be a pretty scary thing ....when i am at that stage.....my daughter had recieved a two day suspension so i was angry..........i couldnt go to battle..she did the wrong thing.......she was made to apologise and deservedly so......the other girl was also made to apologise and we worked out strategies to prevent fights in the future ...by more parent to teacher contact about facebook posts to give a heads up to teachers so they know( i am grateful to teachers for the crap they have to put up with) and hopefully the teachers can pre emptively strike against bullying behavior and possible fights......deb Edited October 18, 2013 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Document everything to cover your ass. Bullies [in all walks of life] will generally get away with more than normal ppl will [much more]. Yep. Just look at what ae have as president. Link to post Share on other sites
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