Buns Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Well hello there I need some help In my past 3 relationships, I have been cheated on. First time, I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years had been in a "relationship" with a co-worker for 3 months. I wanted to fix things, he ended it. The next relationship, I was not in love with this guy, but felt very close to him because I had just lost my father and needed a bit of love and affection. Well I found out that he had cheated on me with his ex and even though I tried to fix things once again, he decided to leave me and go back to her (unfortunatly for him, she turned nasty so he has now come crawling back to me, I sent him packing though). And now, I am in a relationship with a new guy, who has been divorced for 3 years and has a son. Well, since I am completly paranoid now, I felt the urge to check his text messages... Well I think he is fooling around with his ex wife.. Fooling around, or maybe trying to get her back... I don't know. So maybe in a few weeks, he'll break up with me, saying that he wants to try again with his ex wife. With these last 2 men (I know I made mistakes with the first so won't go back on that) I have really tried my best, I try to make them feel special, loved, wanted, we have good fun, laugh, get along, I know that I'm not hard work or annoying.... I just don't know what to do anymore. If this realtionship I'm in now ends, it's going to destroy my confidence, my trust... How can I trust a man again after these past relationships were I have been lied to, cheated on and decieved? I also don't know if it is completly normal that I forgive them everytime and try and fix things? I have seen a lot of people on here who have said that they have found out their partner is cheating so they end it... Why can't I do this ? Am I just completly weak? Any insight and advice, or just some friendly words would be greatly appreciated.... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Solcita2 Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 I think the only wrong thing with you is the type of guy you choose to be with... you don't deserve to be cheated on, you just have to choose better people to be around... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 I read your other thread and the guy is a liar. Period. And when he lies to you and tells you that you're imagining things, who are you going to believe - him, or your lying eyes? <that was said with tons of sarcasm> Very common with liars-- turning the blame around so you second guess yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ChooseTruth Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 As for restoring trust, maybe hang out on the infidelity forums for a while. You'll see some faithful husbands who are dealing with their wives' betrayal. Of course you'll also see some nasty stories about wayward husbands... The point is both genders cheat. Maybe you'll learn what to watch for before starting a new relationship? I'm trying to wrap my head around the same problem in reverse (I'm a betrayed husband/BH) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buns Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 As for restoring trust, maybe hang out on the infidelity forums for a while. You'll see some faithful husbands who are dealing with their wives' betrayal. Of course you'll also see some nasty stories about wayward husbands... The point is both genders cheat. Maybe you'll learn what to watch for before starting a new relationship? I'm trying to wrap my head around the same problem in reverse (I'm a betrayed husband/BH) Oh I do know that both genders cheat... But how does one manage to trust a partner again after being cheated on by several partners? I don't want to turn into some crzay green eyed paranoid dragon.. I'm already paranoid enough but so far am managing to keep it under control, but if I carry on like this I don't know how I'm going to be able to control my paranoia... As for learning what to watch for in a relationship... After my last 2 relationships, my friends all told me that I go for the same type of guy and this could be my problem... So my new partner is completly different, I really took time to get to know him before we started dating, and I really did think that he was a trustworthy, honnest man... My judgement is obviously cr*p... Link to post Share on other sites
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